Give Us Your Best Chat Up Line

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  • Give Us Your Best Chat Up Line
  • grantway

    Ok kill me with your best line


    Get your coat love – you've pulled!

    I once said hello to a girl and then offered her a pill. Not much of a chat up line but it did the trick. 😀


    Get your coat – I've got a knife 😈


    "how would you like to see the soles of your feet in my wing mirrors?"

    I usually let women chat me up – it saves time, and I'm a pushover :o)

    Premier Icon scaredypants

    "I've got a puppy in my car"


    I once said hello to a girl and then offered her a pill. Not much of a chat up line but it did the trick.


    "I usually let women chat me up – it saves time, and I'm a pushover"

    That's the worst chat up line I've ever heard 😐


    Unfortunately not just good'ol xtc.

    Happy days.

    nice legs, when do they open?

    Premier Icon Onzadog

    How much does a polar bear weight?

    She says she doesn't know

    I reply, neither do I but it breaks the ice.

    Failing that,
    Nice shoes; wanna ****?

    Fancy a shag and a pizza?
    She says no
    why? Don't you like pizza?

    All have worked at some point in time (but not every time)


    Chat up lines don't work – just talk to the person!

    Bend over and show us your beard.


    benji_allen – nice bit of Chaucer there 😉


    My mate went up to a girl in a night club and asked her if she wanted a drink. She said no, to which he replied "I guess a shags out the question then" pmsl

    That's the worst chat up line I've ever heard

    it isn't one :o)

    In Fingers Piano Bar in Ed. Walking to the bar this lovely young lady shouted to me "Oi, Oi, yes you you c*nt, you better not be leaving without giving me your f-ing number".

    Obviously I did.

    Later that night I met my Basque girlfriend and her chat-up line was "I have two spare drinks would you like one". And so basqueMTB started…


    What winks and shags like a tiger?

    *wink at her*


    I'm like sine squared and you're like cos squared, together we make one

    Premier Icon Stoner

    "Im here to save you from making a mistake with that older man"

    it worked for me…long ago before I became the "older man" 🙂

    Premier Icon sturmey

    Your in luck get your coat i've gone ugly early 😉


    Im getting a new spesh enduro soon,want to go for a ride,seems to be more interesting to blokes for some reason,woman just ask whats a Spesh Enduro.


    "Excuse me, how do I cook this?" – Said to a lady in the supermarket.
    "That's a good book, what do you think of it?" – as above, but in a library.

    Not really chat up lines but ice breakers. I've said it before and I'll say it again, libraries and supermarkets are much better places to meet women than pubs or clubs.


    'You have fantastic breasts'


    Once said to a girl, " Do you realise how close you are to the best sex you'll ever have?"

    Saw her a few nights ago and sent her a txt reading…" Do you realise how close you were to the best sex you'll never have again?"


    'can you give my number to your twin sister who's single' – hence i landed someone who was slightly married….


    Really fancy your sister,and she seems to like me,do you think i have a chance,and do you have her phone number.

    Sister,do you mean my MUM.

    Premature exit time.

    Excuse me lovely, can i have your opinion, does this damp cloth smell like chloraform to you? works every time. Actually how i met the wife.


    Do you sleep on your front?
    Can I?

    If a girl asks "have you got the time?" u reply "yeah, if you've got the energy"


    I really have to f%&k you right now.

    We're married 5 1/2 years now.

    Premier Icon muggomagic

    When my wife died I felt that I could never fall in love again. That's why I still wear my wedding ring!


    never really used lines TBH, always chatted to them using charm etc etc.

    I used to do a double act with my friend where i would start the chat with 2 girls and he would come in. At the time i used to be a chef so he would say that i was on TV on a sky living cooking programme. I would always go along saying that he should not mention this, its quite embarrasing etc etc. Girls would get quite interested, we would ask have you seen it? and then he would say that he works with Jamie Oliver, by this time they would be 'no way' etc, all along i'm acting embarrased about it. We would mention a few other things and then the final closing line would be ' yeah, he works with JAmie Oliver, you can see him (me) in the background doing the dishes'. It always worked, great ice breaker and always made them laugh leading to a few 'long' nights.

    Ah, the days of being single ………… 😆


    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

    As it looks like you landed on your face.

    Premier Icon bonzodog

    "You look like the kind of girl that needs licking before penetration".

    A girl once told me she wouldn't shag me if I was the last person on earth.

    Yeah, but who'd be around to stop me?

    I need to stay off sickipedia.


    Wanna go halfers on a b@st@rd?

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 83 total)

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