i get so much grief for going out on my bike, its kind of fair enough with working away and what-not but its who i am.
was just thinking, one way to get over this is to maybe get her involved? she might love it, she might be a natural, we could go on biking holidays together and everything!!
trouble is breaking the ice, she’ll need a bike/helmet/lycras etc, i suppose she could use my HT at first, but i just dont fancy babysitting a total novice. i know that sounds selfish but like i said my rides are limited to once a week so make an effort to go big or far. i dont want to pair her off with a friend becasue they’ll just idle along chatting, id like her to ride with me so she can see what its all about. i was thinking of visiting a trail centre where i can push it has hard as i want and she can follow swerving the tricky bits. i wouldnt race off and leave her or owt, but i could session stuff while she catches up..?

anyone had any joy with this or is best left well alone?

I would not load up the expectation of buying all the gear – rent a good bike somewhere nice, take it real easy, possibly have some other WaGs along type pootle.

Do not ride off, do not put climb or descend. Stay behind or alongside. This ride is for her, not you.

If you cannot do that, leave well alone and take your selfish ride.

If you can, the futures bright….mrs_oab loves a nice bike ride…

Callander House Falkirk MTB trails by matt_outandabout, on Flickr

i was thinking of visiting a trail centre where i can push it has hard as i want and she can follow swerving the tricky bits. i wouldnt race off and leave her or owt, but i could session stuff while she catches up..?

Sounds wonderful, just checking you have met women haven’t you?

My missus rides a lot and has done since we met but sometimes riding together just doesn’t work as we have a different approach to riding technical stuff. If you want to spend time together make sure it’s together not just her trying to catch up with you.

There are some women’s fundamental skills courses about and other things like that which may be a way into it.

If you could do a video diary of your experiment and post it up we’d all be very grateful.

Depends on the missus really My Mrs has a go occasionally very much in the leisure cycling sense and we take the nippers out together

If your good lady is an outdoorsy, fit type she might well take to it, if she’s a shopaholic urbanite with a million dollar mani pedi, well, good luck.

OP?

http://www.pinkbike.com/news/Bike-Couples-Ride-dakine-video-2013.html

I dont want to pair her off with a friend becasue they’ll just idle along chatting

I’d say that’s EXACTLY what you should do. Smashing someone up with a mad XC/Marathon style ride isn’t likely to hook them in.

lycras etc

Lycra is likely to be another hurdle from what women riders I know have said. Go for flattering female fit non-lycra.

i suppose she could use my HT at first

Just make sure it is running nice & well, and is well set up, not just “my other half’s sh*t bike”.

My OH was massively reluctant but we found a crappy mountain bike in the garage when we moved and had a couple of pootles around The Chevin fire roads on it then went and did Dalby blue (fire roads). In her own words “it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting”. Then Hamsterley red – mostly fire road climbs and fun swoopy descents.

After that she let me build her a nicer bike which we took to the alps and did some long cruisey rides around with some gravity assistance. Now she loves it and has picked up a road bike too. She’s done some bigger days in proper hills and is actually getting pretty quick uphill.

I don’t think she’ll ever get into gnat shredding but it’s great to get out together. She’s even done a few black trail centre loops now.

Sounds wonderful, just checking you have met women haven’t you?

+1
If you do this, you need to accept that rides with your other half are, for the forseeable future, about riding WITH her, i.e alongside or right in front or behind and chatting, not about going ahead then letting her catch up. And don’t push the pace. At all. And don’t offer unsolicited advice. And make it a very, very easy ride, both technically and fitness wise.
If she comments that it was fun you can ask if she’d fancy going further, trying something trickier or whatever, but if you want there to be a chance that she’ll get into it, she needs to be making the calls on the progression, and at least at first it’s a social activity. You’ll be out on your bike, but if you want to push yourself, you’ll need to find a way to get out on your own or with your mates, at least for a while.
If you are lucky she’ll get into it and you can get the best of both worlds but if you push it at all you will not be looking at a happy face at the end of the ride.

My Mrs has expressed an interest in having a go at mountain biking after me failing to get her out on the road for a couple of years.

I’m going to have a day off work soon when the weather is nice and take her around the green or blue routes at Cannock. When she’s got used to riding a bike again I’ll take her round the dog. Fingers crossed she’ll take to it, and I’ll be able to get out more often, even if it is at a slightly slower pace for a bit 😀

In summary – sounds like you want to impose your hobby on her so that she wont give you grief for going out…

Does she have any existing hobbies? how would you feel about her suggesting you go along to them instead so you can spend time together?

If on the other hand she has expressed an interest and you think she will genuinely enjoy going riding then go for it! But you don’t really sound like you want to take the time to introduce a new rider or offer the support they will need.

You need to be aware that she may want different things from her rides, your expectations and priorities will be different and even if she becomes an avid rider it doesn’t necessarily mean you will get more riding time in doing the things you want to do.

My GF is a regular rider, has been for ~5 years, out with us most weekends now tackling blue and red graded trails, and pushing herself to get better on off-piste/natural stuff but rides are still very different when she is along, not in a bad way, just a different approach, at a different pace.

You need to be prepared to put the time in to encourage and support her as you would with any new rider otherwise it wont be enjoyable for either of you.

Start small and gentle, and don’t get hung up on kit, any bike in good working condition (key!) will do to begin with on flat green or gentle blue graded trails. Don’t get techy with jargon, riding tips, specific kit or anything like that as it can distract and intimidate.

Remember that what you consider easy and don’t even give a second thought to could be a major obstacle to some people, especially if they haven’t ridden since childhood, even basics like bike control, braking and gear changes can be a whole world of confusion to begin with so you really need to work out at what level you need to pitch it and if you don’t think you have the skills to teach and introduce a new rider then it may be better to find a local group for her to start with, it can take a lot of the pressure off.

Don’t be selfish, have some patience and don’t ride off as fast as your legs will carry you, it’s only going to put her off even more having to play catch up all day.

If she has no interest at all in cycling though it’s likely not to catch on though. No nice local fire road type trails to go on? Think a busy trail centre may not be the best idea either as strava knobbers will be pushing her off trying to get past.

Make sure you get her clipless pedals as it will be more efficient going uphill, and if she falls off in the car park and starts crying, tell her to man up and get going.

Whites level on Afan would be a good place to start – one long climb, and all downhill from there.

Make sure you get her clipless pedals as it will be more efficient going uphill

😀

Think a busy trail centre may not be the best idea either as strava knobbers will be pushing her off trying to get past

Actually this still bugs my GF, and she’s not that slow, and quite a good rider these days, and one of her friends gets seriously spooked by people clattering up behind her and will simply panic or stop dead, it’s also the one and only reason she has refused to enter any races, she’s quite up for the idea of competing, but is worried about the stress of ‘being in the way’.

So yeah, make sure you start on wide and quiet trails.

Based on observation, the results from men trying to encourage the women in their lives to go riding are not encouraging.

However, every year their seem to be more and more women who have got into mountain biking by themselves, with female friends, through uni clubs etc.

The correct course of action is reasonably obvious. 🙂

i was thinking of visiting a trail centre where i can push it has hard as i want and she can follow

This is not a very good idea. If you are going for a ride with a novice, just accept that you are going for a novice ride, and ride it together.

some good advice cheers.

I’d wait until she asks.

My missus can kick my ass on any reasonable surface, so I have to ensure there are plenty of roots and gravel involved. Mud doesn’t work, she likes it 🙂

i was thinking of visiting a trail centre where i can push it has hard as i want and she can follow swerving the tricky bits. i wouldnt race off and leave her or owt, but i could session stuff while she catches up..?

So you intend to dump her in the middle of nowhere…. I know what you are thinking, but IT WILL GO WRONG.

If you want her to ride with you, you would be better off on the family trail at the FoD, easy stuff at Thetford, Sherwood Pines, etc. She won’t have the fitness to get up a climb, she will get pissed off and demoralised. She will hate you! you will be wrong etc etc etc…

2ps worth:

Ride with her on easy to encouraging terrain.
Don’t ride ahead. Also don’t ride behind leaving huge gaps then sprinting to close those gaps.

Trail centres are good as you get a predictable level of difficulty and progress can be measured. Also cafes help too. 🙂

Once into the sport, don’t fob her off with your cast-offs or duff kit. Nice, well designed female bikes, clothes and other stuff contributes hugely to her enjoyment of the sport.

Skills courses are good as OH’s teaching each other usually goes wrong.

Must be some other 2p gems I’ve forgotten too.

Aha – also book some time off work and head out for nice quiet days out at otherwise busy trail centres. Make a day of it for her and don’t try and squeeze ‘one more hot lap’, or ‘i’ll just session this’ type activities as this is for her learning and confidence. Doing this when its not busy removes the pressure of faster riders trying to squeeze past.

First time my partner and I rode together, it ended in tears. We got lost, she was unfit and couldn’t climb and she had a crap hire bike. Culminated in her slogging up a climb, having a tanty and hurling the bike down the hill. Still made her go and pick it up and we laugh about it today.

First thing we did when we got back, she bought a little single speed to commute to work. Built up some fitness and then bought a nice Whippet on the C2W topped up with some borrowed cash from me. We then rode a few trail centres. I won’t lie, I was hoping she would get bored of both bikes and I could add them to my collection.

Fast forward a few years, she now has as many bikes as me. She gets out on the road mostly, but enjoys MTB a lot. The turning point for her was a skills course. Women need to feel more in control according to the coach. I won’t disagree with him on that one.

In all this time I have done all what people advice you not to do:
– Ride off and leave her all alone after a tantrum? Check.
– Buy a bike hoping she will not like it and I will get it? Check.
– Make her use my cast offs? Check.
– Cajole her into riding clipless when she was probably not ready and make her fall off? Check.
– Laugh when she’s fallen off? Check.

The one thing in my favour is the woman’s sheer bloody-mindedness. If your missus is similar, then you’ll be fine. I’ve also never let her use anything I’d not be comfortable using.

I tell you what not to do. Go riding together up a massive hill in Iceland. Then on the downhill fly off ahead and don’t stop until 1000m of descent later and go for a nap in the evening sun while waiting. She got a pinch flat about 2% of the way down the hill and I had the pump. It will take years before that stops being brought up. Oh and she had to carry the bike down because the tyre came off too.

OMG, Darcy Turenne is, like, totally perfect – laters you guys, I’m off to Canada to find my true loves (mountain biking girl) kiss….

She will hate you! you will be wrong

Just this… good luck anyway!

Why do you want “her” to get involved?

It’s one of the only places I can feel like I’m me when on my bike, thats the whole point.
I rode a bike before meeting MrsBOuy and I intend to ride it long after shes gone too.

I’ve never tried to get “her” involved. If she wants to it’s upto her to force the issue not me.
I ain’t stopping riding either.

If you feel presured then I’d suggest finding someone who apreciates you doing what you love doing.

anyone had any joy with this

yup similar situation mrs rocket ‘got involved’ a few years ago and she thinks it’s great (bless)

The truth is that a MTB ride with the mrs is nothing like what I would consider a ‘normal’ ride but because I take it easy and wait for her and give her a bit of guidance and the weather’s not too bad and we stop and ooh ahh at the scenery and take pictures and maybe have a bite to eat and buy some new godawful gloves from the bike shop, she loves it

The flipside is that I don’t get any grief whatsoever the rest of the time 🙂

i was thinking of visiting a trail centre where i can push it has hard as i want and she can follow swerving the tricky bits. i wouldnt race off and leave her or owt, but i could session stuff while she catches up..?

Has she shown any interest in riding at all? Is she open to the idea? Do you see this as being something that you can share together, or just a plan to stop her from moaning about your hobby? Because from what you’ve said, it sounds more like the latter. If she has no interest or desire to go biking, then there’s nothing you can do about it – she’s likely to resent you trying, especially if you’re not willing to ride with her, or ‘babysit’ her whilst she learns to ride.

Basically, what amedias said.

My Mrs has expressed an interest in having a go at mountain biking after me failing to get her out on the road for a couple of years.

I’m going to have a day off work soon when the weather is nice and take her around the green or blue routes at Cannock. When she’s got used to riding a bike again I’ll take her round the dog. Fingers crossed she’ll take to it, and I’ll be able to get out more often, even if it is at a slightly slower pace for a bit

See! Look at prawny, he has the right idea. Missus has expressed an interest, so he’s formulated an excellent plan to nuture that interest, so it can grow and be something that they share. Reasons why his approach is more likely to work:

Expressed an interest: Obviously a good start.

Taking her for a ride on a day off: Weekends are more practical, but going during the week means quieter trails and less stress for novices, even on the easier routes.

Green and blue routes: If someone hasn’t ridden a bike for years, letting them get used to the bike in a chilled out way is generally preferable. Once they feel comfortable on the bike and feel that they’re ready to take on some tougher stuff, then taking them out on an easy red is a good way to go, making it clear that there’s no shame in walking anything they don’t feel comfortable with.

Slower pace: Riding together can make trails less intimidating – the novice can watch how somebody with more experience tackles things, ask for advice, plus aren’t going to feel abandoned or flustered.

Good boy, prawny!

It might be that the OP’s missus would take to it really quickly and become a riding goddess – I took a friend who lives in The Netherlands around FtD who had never been mountain biking. She was only used to Dutch bikes (pedal back to brake) with three gears, so we hired a hardtail and took her around the blue on the Saturday. On the Sunday, she hired an Orange Five and promptly flew around the red. Rock gardens, boardwalks, drops? No problem. Cow. Worth noting that she had always cycled though, and has no fear, so I imagine that probably helped quite a lot.

I, on the other hand, had only minimal cycling experience when I started mtbing, and am naturally a massive coward – it took me years to get to the point where I could ride around a red without walking anything, and even now, I’ll hop off if I think stuff looks too slippy. People who have been biking for years often don’t realise how even the tamest of stuff can be terrifying for novices. Saying “But it’s just like riding off a kerb!” is pretty useless if they’ve never ridden off a kerb before.

It’s always best to let new riders go at their own pace, regardless of what that may be.

My missus and I kind of met through mountain biking indirectly almost 10 years ago, so I guess i’ve been lucky. We’re now married. We’ve kind of ‘grown’ together as bikers and in the past it’s been her who’s suggested all the bike trips abroad (Whistler, White Room, BasqueMTB). It can still be a challenge when attempting to go on longer/trickier rides as it can be with your mates but as a unit I think it works well and I don’t ever recall having a barney on trails, ever. I guess it’s all about understanding one another and knowing what you both want to get out of spending time in the saddle. Mrs Pie also isn’t a fan of the busier trail centres and hates the feeling of ‘getting in the way’.

It can be quite handy having someone to (unknowingly) field test various bits of gear before I decide to take the plunge. The best bits however, is watching your missus slowly pick off your riding mates. Not saying much I know but Binners was a victim of hers many year ago, and she’s since notched up a few more.

she’ll never get any good if you don’t take the time to teach her.

A mate took his wife out and took her, in the dark, down some of Surrey Hills finest trails. She cried because she wasn’t comfortable with it all. Never really went out again riding with him unless it was fireroads. Understandably.

Riding with her will be a separate activity from your ‘selfish’ rides (as someone put it).

However, do you spend hours out watching/playing football – do you spend hours down the pub with mates, etc.

If you do then maybe cut down the hours there to compensate for your rides.

If you don’t and she is still complaining then it’s time to leave…

Do not ride off, do not put climb or descend. Stay behind or alongside. This ride is for her, not you.

Very this. Mrs Pondo will even tell me to go off “if I want to” – there is, I suspect, a trap buried within this that will bite me firmly on the backside if I take it. 🙂

Just accept that it’s a different thing to riding by yourself. I really like going cycling with Mrs Pondo – even if we go at a steady pace, who cares? We’ll go and have a roll around Cannock Blue on the hybrids from time to time, tea and cake aferwards, job’s a good un – we had a go at Ashton Court last year, but she didn’t like it, even as mild as they are the jumps and berms scare her, so we’ll just keep it simple. Suits me – not every ride needs to be a balls-out adrenalin blast, and if it encourages her to cycle more (and makes her see me cycling in a positive light), then everyone’s happy. She can take my HT when the Clockwork is rebuilt, no problem, but she just has no interest in anything more challenging than a trail centre blue – fair enough, as fair as I’m concerned. 🙂

Off to France next week and the hybrids will come with us – with a bit of luck, once we’re there they’ll clock more miles than the car. 🙂

My female likes a good bike ride once in a while. She’s not bad either. Means I have twice as many bikes to maintain though, cause she sure as hell doesn’t do it. Not bitter much.

Ladies nights being organised by 7Stanes
https://www.facebook.com/7stanesMountainBiking

Problem solved

my 2penneth,

DONT DO IT… DO NOT DO IT…..

Just personal experience like. Got her kitted up. a nice easy (canal side) 6 miles to the pub ride. Nice bike (boardman fs) everything setup. right gear etc etc. 1.5 miles in bike on the floor, tears biking crap etc.

**** disaster….. or good result depending on your point of view.

my Missus likes a Nice gentle tow path pootle, she doesn’t like riding on roads, she doesn’t like riding up or down hills much.

I took her down some tame local single track once her assessment was that it was “Impossible for normal people” she simply rode into a tree to strop herself, then got off and pushed.

I have managed to get her to do ~15 mile round trips, so long as the following conditions are met:

-No traffic (pretty much no use of roads)
-Route must be as flat as a pancake (Climbs/descents, not appreciated)
-I must carry all the water/tools/spares and any children…
-The weather is sunny and warm for the whole ride or we don’t go.
-There must be a stop at a pub for lunch.
-We will Both ride at her pace…
-I will have to explain the operation of the gears a minimum of 3 times
-She can complain about the physical strain of the ride for at least 2 days after without me calling her names or suggesting it wasn’t actually all that hard…

If all of that happens, she might go for a bike ride twice maybe three times a year, If I’m pushy or impatient, then its just the once…

Like anything they either like it or they don’t, try to push her, take her on terrain outside of her comfort zone or worst of all, bugger off to ride stuff at your own pace and you’ll turn her well off of the whole idea… Baby steps.

See if you can attach an ironing board to the Handlebars somehow or see if you can adapt her bike for scatter cushions & matching curtains, women like that sort of thing, god knows why.

im sacking it off 😉

I started MTB of my own accord when I was 39, as a group of my mates at work (all male) seemed to have so much fun doing it. I bought a cheap bike from
Decathlon, did a handful of rides on my own, and then joined my mates on rides, they gave me loads of tips and 6 years later I still go on rides with them and I don’t hold them up!