Viewing 40 posts - 121 through 160 (of 229 total)
  • Get The L Out.
  • 5plusn8
    Free Member

    Lunge, Surely that definition starts with the chromosomes and probably falls over not long after.

    lunge
    Full Member

    @5plusn8, it may start with it but that’s not where it ends, and that’s the point. As mentioned previously, there were/are a good few female models who are XY not XX for example. Where do you do next?

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    I’ve been enjoying reading this thread and its certainly made me question what I think and feel about this whole thing of gender reassignment from male to female. Thats got to be a good thing surely?

    Bringing it down to a more basic level, is it any different from fancying a woman because she is blond when in actual fact she dyes her hair and is actually a natural brunette?

    Being honest here, I don’t really know how I’d feel about finding out a woman I’d had sex with was originally physically a man after the act. For me sex is more than just the physical act, there has to be an emotional connection, which in itself is probably a little different from the normal, “led by his dick” attitude that a lot of men have. So I’d hope that would be enough to overcome any preconceptions I may have as a result of my social conditioning.

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    5plusn8
    Free Member

    As I said, it falls over after that, there is no end. Fnnaar.
    For most of us socially conditioned or not, we fancy someone who lands around the “norm” of the opposite sex. Is this wrong?

    For me sex is more than just the physical act, there has to be an emotional connection, which in itself is probably a little different from the normal, “led by his dick” attitude that a lot of men have.

    I wonder how many men really have this attitude, or just want other men to think so… Perhaps you are just a bit more honest.

    lunge
    Full Member

    For most of us socially conditioned or not, we fancy someone who lands around the “norm” of the opposite sex. Is this wrong?

    Nah, of course not, fancy who you fancy, sleep with who you wish (with consent, obviously). I guess the thing I’m trying to get my head around is why, if you fancy someone and they land around the “norm”, why it would then bother someone if it turned out their past is different to what you expected? I mean, you still fancy them, there is still a connection, what’s the problem?

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    It is not a problem per se – I would just be disappointed if I had not been informed. I feel we all have a responsibility to be honest with each other. My nephew is autistic, he is 15 and if you met him you would think he is a massive ****. But when you discover he is autistic you make some latitude for him, realise that you were pretty prejudiced against 15 year old male teenagers (its ok we all are) and he is easier to deal with All because of your change in attitude, and his relatives responsibility to inform so that nothing goes tits up.

    Autism is outside the normal space of behaviour but we have all come to recognise that its equally valid and welcome, but because its an outlier and we all rely somewhat on prejudice to get by we need to inform about it. I feel the same about trans, nobody has the right to say someone else is not valid, but it is outside the norm, so take responsibility for your self and when necessary (which lets face it isn’t often) inform.

    sbob
    Free Member

    So I’d hope that would be enough to overcome any preconceptions I may have as a result of my social conditioning.

    It’s not social conditioning for a bloke (with testes) to fancy a bird (with ovaries). That’s an instinct due to the necessity to reproduce.

    Personally I have no desire to reproduce, though the instinct to have sex with the opposite sex remains. Until I meet and fancy a transperson I’m not sure how I’d feel.

    Actually, I’d probably feel the tits, arse and fanny safe in the knowledge that there is no danger of any little sbobs nine months down the line. 😆

    Cougar
    Full Member

    I’ll not tie a knot around use of the word “normal” to score Internet Points but, what you’re describing here is just numbers.  Perhaps “common” or “majority” is more appropriate.

    Autism is only really a problem because it’s “different.”  If people on the ASD spectrum were “the norm” then we’d probably have support groups for those who are currently viewed as neurotypical.

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    I mean normal in the statistical sense, so no points required. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_distribution. Exactly, the norm is just what is most common. Humans are pattern recognition machines, we find normals and work off them for brevity, hence why we all have a responsibility to point out outliers that we wish included.

    I raised some other more pressing points perhaps you would like to address them. How would you feel if you were gay, or straight or whatever? I would hope that the answer is just “normal” as society these days thankfully accepts all comers.

    tdog
    Free Member

    I’m gonna put my hand up to playground level homophobia or whatever you want to call it. Just because the law recognizes someone as a female does not make them necessarily female in my personal contact preferences.

    Homophobia is an issue with what other people do with their sex organs and practice. If I don’t want to have sex with someone who used to be a man the only person that affects is me. Call it what you like but no law is going to compel one person to have sex with another, Sounds like I am a homophobe then. I can live with that, as long as I don’t force other people to have or not have sex then I am happy with your definition of  me as a homophobe.

    This sums my opinion up well.

    I’ll just point out that I wouldn’t actively throw negative comments about anyone who fits in these categories.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be gay, so I can’t comment.

    My point was, you said you were prejudiced against being gay.  What I was getting at was, what if by a quirk of genetics you happened to be something you were prejudiced against?

    And you?

    I have no such prejudice, so it’s kind of a moot point.  If I were then I imagine that growing up in East Lancashire in the 80s and 90s would have been an exceptionally challenging time but as an adult I’d like to think that I’d have dealt with it and embraced it.

    I think that given a choice, I wouldn’t want to be gay.  Having to deal with bigoted asshats in society aside, girls have all sorts of lovely bits to play with that would otherwise be denied to me.  And if I wanted to play with boy bits, well, I already own those.

    Being bi would probably be the best of both worlds as you’ve got unlimited options then, so I suppose that would be my choice in a game of “pick your own sexuality.” But I’m 100% straight by dint of nature and have never had even the slightest sexual leanings towards the male of the species.  I’ve never fathomed what girls (or anyone else) sees in boys in the first place, we’re horrible sweaty farty creatures.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    I raised some other more pressing points perhaps you would like to address them.

    Give me a chance to type, man!

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    you said you were prejudiced against being gay

    This is a bit bait and switch. All I said was I am not gay so I don’t want to have sex with men. Other people called me prejudiced so i jumped on the grenade. By their definition you are also prejudiced against being gay. Because you are straight. I was just using other peoples words they applied to me. My point is I am not gay, I don’t fancy blokes and by my definition an M>F trans is still a bloke, so sex with them would be outside of my wants. The only differences then between you and me is you think an M>F trans is a woman, I don’t, and by my account I’ve fondled another lads bits once and you haven’t, it helped me to inform myself about by own sexuality.

    (My problem is that I often meet what people try to insult me with, with acceptance of the insult, call me prejudiced, well yeah fine if it fits your definition then I am, I wont get emotional about it, lets discuss it instead, its healthier)

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    sweaty farty creatures.

    You’ve not met my other half (female) then.

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    This is very simple.

    Does anyone treat their gay / lesbian friends differently to their straight friends? My neighbour is a Trans person, I give him a nod and say ‘hey man’ to him when I see him on the street, I don’t know what he identifies as because he keeps himself to himself and we’ve never chatted, but I do my best to acknowledge him as he’s a person. The same as I say ‘morning’ to dog walkers.

    Actually, I invited him to a BBQ last weekend, he didn’t come, the crossdressing bastard.

    They’re all just people, if you want to bang somebody just make sure they feel similarly.

    Stevet1
    Free Member

    My point is I am not gay

    Fine

    I don’t fancy blokes

    Still fine

    and by my definition an M>F trans is still a bloke, so sex with them would be outside of my wants.

    What’s your definition? If you are attracted to the female form, and this individual matches your type – you probably fancy them. If you get talking and hit it off then you probably fancy them a bit more. Then they tell you they used to be male. What exactly would put you off fancying them? Nothing physical has changed, nor has their personality – they’ve been up front with you. The only thing that has changed is in your own head.

    chestrockwell
    Full Member

    I’d imagine it would depend if the person was looking to have a relationship or just a bit of fun. If the attraction is strong enough to mean the former is a possibility i’d say a little more has changed.

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    The only thing that has changed is in your own head.

    Well renowned most powerful erogenous zone. He is a man.

    Stevet1
    Free Member

    The only thing that has changed is in your own head.

    Well renowned most powerful erogenous zone. He is a man.

    Lets say that science invents body transplants, and shortly after Christina Hendricks suffers a massive stroke and dies but the brain of this transgender individual is transplanted into her body. You meet her, get along great, she tells you she used to have a male body but she had a brain transplant. How do you react?

    allthegear
    Free Member

    Oh now this is getting interesting. So, you’ve met someone – you find them attractive based on their body (all of it), their conversation etc etc and then you find out they are trans. So, what is it you are turned off by?

    1) what you personally think

    2) what you are scared other people might think of you?

    I’m beginning to think it might be (2)…

    emsz
    Free Member

    I think that given a choice, I wouldn’t want to be gay.  Having to deal with bigoted asshats in society aside, girls have all sorts of lovely bits to play with that would otherwise be denied to me.  And if I wanted to play with boy bits, well, I already own those.

    oh my lovely!

    Honestly: when I realised i was gay, it was drama, and I did some stupid ass stuff. now? I’m as happy as a lop, I get to play with all sorts of lovely bits that would otherwise be denied to me…Could it be that we just all agree that girl bits are just nice to play with? haha

    anyway, for what it’s worth Trans people are about as brave as it comes in my book, forget soldiers and all that shit, trying to get people to accept you for who “you” actually are, seems to be the hardest thing in the world, my life is a piece of cake by comparison

    There are some older gay women i’ve met who have some radical stuff in their heads, mostly because of the pressure they faced as gay women in the 50’s or 60’s or whatever, I think. They were told, mostly by men, what they could and couldn’t do. Some of those women see my generation as having it easy and somehow “betraying” the fight that they went through. To them having a Trans tell them about what they “can and can’t” bang smacks of the same patriarchy they’ve faced for a long time. Me?…if you’re getting juicy, then go for it, right?

    tazzymtb
    Full Member

    she tells you she used to have a male body but she had a brain transplant. How do you react?

    I’d think “does this technically count as a threesome? get in” 🙂

    Given that all of us have an element of Neanderthal and other hominid DNA in us, it clearly shows that Humans will happily mate with other (similar) species . So whats the big deal about what bits or lack thereof someone has?  Gender is such a fluid thing I cant believe that we in the west still get so hung up about it. Hell, in various civilizations there were a number of recognized genders rather than stupid bible based binary silliness.  the Native Americans happily had the “two spirit” principal and practiced same sex marriages and joinings without any bias at all. Such a shame that culturally we went for the  puritanical instead.

    PrinceJohn
    Full Member

    So – as this thread has gone a bit off topic – with lots of people’s prejudice floating around, a question, to all those who are saying they don’t want to have sex with M>F trans…

    You meet someone, you don’t know they’ve changed genders. You click, like no-one you’ve ever met before, you have the best laugh, the best time in their company. You also think they’re hugely attractive. You end up sleeping together, you have the best, most mind blowing sexual experience of you life. Not just by a little bit, this is screaming the house down with pleasure mind blowing.

    They then tell you they used to be a man, there’s no other signs of their previous gender, other than their confession. No one else you know, knows, or will ever find out…

    Do you continue your relationship or cut off your nose to spite your face?

    I suspect allthegear has nailed it –

    2) what you are scared other people might think of you?

    I’m beginning to think it might be (2)…

    giantalkali
    Free Member

    How authentic is a post op mini? Asking for a friend

    allthegear
    Free Member

    An Austin, BL, Rover or BMW one?

    Rachel

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    Oh now this is getting interesting. So, you’ve met someone – you find them attractive based on their body (all of it), their conversation etc etc and then you find out they are trans. So, what is it you are turned off by?

    1) what you personally think

    2) what you are scared other people might think of you?

    I’m beginning to think it might be (2)…

    Have you read any of my posts? Do you think I am scared of what people might think of me? I have revealed all kinds of personal shit that really only you Rachel have been as candid. Also not once have I dared to stray into “what gay/trans/lesbian people think” territory which is standard male white gay curing homophobes. Its none of my business and not something anyone can know. So don’t presume to think you know what I think other than my honesty.

    Cougar isn’t gay, he hasn’t even admitted to at least trying, I have. Why are you not giving him shit? If I was single and informed and on a one night stand maybe I would try it (I doubt it given what I know about myself) , but it would be in the same box as my previous gay experimentation. Just to note, men do not make me horny, I know I’ve tried, so I am not in a position to know if I am ashamed of my gayness as you assume.

    Do you continue your relationship or cut off your nose to spite your face?

    FFS this is getting stupid, I was talking of one night stands, do you think I value one quick shag so much?
    In my 20’s I had a relationship with a girl who was stunning, blew my mind with her mind and we really clicked. Over about 6 weeks we spent every minute together. As I actually got to know her I discovered she was narcissistic and all of her mental concepts were received wisdom, in the end I actually really disliked her and couldn’t wait to end it. .
    Love is just a chemical trick initially anyway. I have been with my wife for 25 years and our love has grown stronger. I tell the kids this all the time when they want to ask about what love is. It takes time to build a solid relationship. The concept of “falling in love at first sight” is just dangerous bollocks.

    So I think in the end I would only be able to see the person as a man. Same with the Hendricks thing someone proposed. I think the feminists call it lived experience? The mind is probably the most attractive thing about anyone, and someone who has lived as a man, I don’t know if I could ignore that.
    I was talking of hypothetical one night stands, and as I said many times, my worst reaction would be a bit of disappointment perhaps anger. But I am not claiming rape and I have disclaimed that here, its just a preference. I would prefer to know.  I don’t see why this is a big deal.

    rene59
    Free Member

    They then tell you they used to be a man, there’s no other signs of their previous gender, other than their confession.

    So they have been through puberty and lived as a man? Doubt they’ll not be any other signs then. You may as well fling in they had a jackpot winning euromillions ticket as well then if you’re going to make up bullshit scenarios.

    5thElefant
    Free Member

     You meet someone, you don’t know they’ve changed genders.

    It’ll be pretty damn obvious once you’ve sobered up.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    It’s a funny old place, is the STW forum.

    On the one hand we have the Gnusmas thread which has raised North of seven grand for a forum member in need.

    And on the other, well, here we are.  Bloody hell.

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    And you are right here in the middle of it.

    poah
    Free Member

    So, what is it you are turned off by?

    the fact they weren’t born with a vagina would be the turn off.

    boriselbrus
    Free Member

    I get that you don’t want to sleep with a trans woman. I don’t like it but I get it.

    What is unacceptable to me is that you’d claim rape if she didn’t tell you.

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    What I don’t understand is why the m>f trans seem so reticent to just be happy to let potential partnes know? As with my autism example, Ibthink you have a responsibility to be transparent so personal decision are informed. What is wrong with that?

    Cougar
    Full Member

    You don’t understand a situation that you’ve just invented in order to argue that you’re not able to understand it?  Who’s being reticent about anything here?

    I’m on the spectrum too.  If dating, I’d bring it up if and when if became relevant.  My opening gambit wouldn’t be “hi, nice to meet you, my name’s Alan and I’m Aspie.”

    I’m also vegetarian, a staunch remainer and have no truck with organised religion.  Should that be my second sentence?  I totally wouldn’t want to shag a creationist brexiter.

    poah
    Free Member

    I get that you don’t want to sleep with a trans woman. I don’t like it but I get it.

    What is unacceptable to me is that you’d claim rape if she didn’t tell you.

    Why don’t you like it that someone doesn’t want to have sex with a trans person?  That is their personal choice and the fact you don’t like it is quite disturbing.

    I think not being able to give informed consent is unacceptable.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    I don’t want to have sex with a blonde.  That’s my personal choice.  Should I expect a brunette to go “hey, BTW, I dye my hair” before climbing into bed with me?  Shit, I’ve been raped!

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    Its not the situation, its just one aspect of the trans response to the situation. Thas your first fallacy. The rest of that sentence makes no sense. Its a shame to see you struggling Cougar. Your logic is normally pretty good.

    5plusn8
    Free Member

    Being blonde is not the same as being a different sex to the one you present.

    technicallyinept
    Free Member

    That whole ‘lesbian not queer’ banner the protestors were holding up? They’re disagreeing with this sort of thing:

    https://www.autostraddle.com/how-to-have-trans-woman-lesbian-sex-with-a-penis-414839/

    kimbers
    Full Member

    You lot all need to losen the fk up.

    Id recommend an orgy, swingers night or better still a trip to Torture Garden.

    You don’t even have to join in, just expand your mind a bit & enjoy the show.

    Taste the rainbow guys & gals & if you’re wearing a gimp mask no one need ever know it was you….

Viewing 40 posts - 121 through 160 (of 229 total)

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