Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 92 total)
  • Garden party dilemma
  • Premier Icon gardentiger
    Free Member

    The issue:

    I’ve been invited (with Mrs tiger and the cubs) to a Platinum Jubilee garden party at my parents in law. I think it is going to be a bit on the gammony side. For example, my brother in law recently used the word ‘magnificent’ to describe old Liz Windsor…

    Do I:

    A) Refuse to go on a point of principle and earn multiple reverse brownie points?

    B) Agree to go whilst secretly praying it pisses down and is called off?

    But B), should it not piss down leads to options:

    i) Try to stay out of the way of the gammoniness and muck about with the kids as far away as possible from the festivities and agree not to have a beer so I do the driving.

    ii) Get shitfaced and harangue anyone within earshot about my republican views – starting with the reddest-faced tosspot I can find.

    Discuss.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Full Member

    Aren’t republican views and gammony views fairly closely aligned?

    Premier Icon Rubber_Buccaneer
    Full Member

    I understand your sentiment but if you are going to attend a

    Platinum Jubilee garden party

    I think you have to put on your Union Jack underpants and go with it

    Premier Icon pk13
    Full Member

    You could just go and actually try and have a nice time with your wife and kids.

    Premier Icon ads678
    Free Member

    Do whatever you want to do, you’re a grown adult.

    Premier Icon stwhannah
    Full Member

    When my street had a garden party for VE Day, I joined in by hanging an EU flag from my house. I think you need the right outfit and then you will be able to drink quietly and peacefully in a corner.

    Perhaps a nice clean new t-shirt?
    Ahtbm t shirt

    Premier Icon Rubber_Buccaneer
    Full Member

    Perhaps a nice clean new t-shirt?

    T

    Premier Icon mrmonkfinger
    Free Member

    Let me know what you decide and how it works out.

    Whilst not quite the same, I have a lower level dilemma with the local village effort, a four day gammonfest in honour of the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas.

    tshirt

    Premier Icon thegeneralist
    Full Member

    This:

    A) Refuse to go on a point of principle

    Or this is also reasonable:

    ii) Get shitfaced and harangue anyone within earshot about my republican views

    Definitely not this:

    You could just go and actually try and have a nice time with your wife and kids.

    Premier Icon goldfish24
    Full Member

    I’m basically B followed by backup plan i) aka keep quiet. Which almost stopped my posting on this thread because I now expect this to run to 5 pages.

    Premier Icon ads678
    Free Member

    My daughter has one of these, could work.

    Premier Icon chewkw
    Free Member

    If you love your wife go.

    Otherwise sort that life is too short do whatever you want.

    Premier Icon jon1973
    Free Member

    Just don’t go. I’m sure if they knew what you were thinking they probably wouldn’t want you there anyway.

    Premier Icon gardentiger
    Free Member

    ‘B’ it is, then.

    <Goes off to research Navajo rain dance techniques>

    Premier Icon gardentiger
    Free Member

    Aren’t republican views and gammony views fairly closely aligned?

    Not in the UK sense, no.

    Premier Icon zippykona
    Full Member

    Go and say how disgusting the behaviour of dumbojo and his scumbags was to her royal highness and that you’ll never vote for them again.
    A true blue gammon can only agree . The revolution starts with you brother.
    FIGHT THE POWER.

    Premier Icon stevenmenmuir
    Free Member

    You needed to play the long game. When my cousin’s husband was bitching about Meghan during the black lives matter protests I just posted pics of randy Andy and creepy Jeffrey on his Facebook page. Blocked and no invites.

    Premier Icon csb
    Full Member

    Go and play your own game of Gammon Go a bit like Pokemon Go but you choose targets and coerce them into being more gammony for which you score points.

    Premier Icon joshvegas
    Free Member

    I go with B but pull a last minute A if needed

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Full Member

    I was most pleased when my wife suggested we just go away on the WE of our local street party. She normally moans that I’m just a miserable bastard (true), but obvs a street party is a step too far for her as well…..

    Premier Icon devbrix
    Full Member

    My road is doing similar, hope they enjoy it as much as my bike ride…

    Premier Icon simian
    Free Member

    Go, and deliberately out-gammon them. Goad them on.

    As you escalate their ranting, turn it up to 11.

    If someone starts shouting whilst red in the face, all the time agreeing with your views, you win. If someone figures out your game before the shouting/heart attacks start, you lose, and make a swift exit, stage left.

    Premier Icon BillMC
    Full Member

    The ‘gammons’ around me asked if they could use our drainpipe for the street party bunting but it all was going to be republican.

    Premier Icon tall_martin
    Full Member

    Go and play your own game of Gammon Go a bit like Pokemon Go but you choose targets and coerce them into being more gammony for which you score points.

    Never mind football, this is sounds an awesome spectator sport 🙂

    Premier Icon frankconway
    Full Member

    Definitely B with sub-option i)
    Suggest you head to redbubble.com to buy some EU logo clothes – tees and some very natty leggings.
    Maybe tiger cubs are in need of some new tees?
    Download a recording of Ode to Joy to play in car as you arrive – windows down and volume up.
    Also find flash mob clip of same on youtube and play on your phone repeatedly through the ‘party’ keeping phone in pocket but at max volume.
    HTH

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I think you have to put on your Union Jack underpants and go with it

    I say, no matter what, turning up in just your undercrackers could be a step too far…

    Premier Icon Stainypants
    Full Member

    Do you believe in God ? do you celebrate Christmas ? Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t mean you have to be a dick about it, moaning about the royal family at a family party isn’t going to suddenly change others views live and let live. I think the Monarchy is bollox but I’m really looking forward to my week in France only using 3 days holiday, cheers Liz. Bonus, I won’t see any of the celebrations

    Premier Icon ransos
    Free Member

    You could just go and actually try and have a nice time with your wife and kids.

    This. If you can’t manage to be civil to people who don’t share your political views then I think it says more about you than them.

    Premier Icon stumpyjon
    Full Member

    Agree with the last 2 posters, other people probably don’t care about your deeply held passionate beliefs. For most of the attendees it’s just an excuse for a party, they won’t have though too much about the monarchy. It’s a shame but most people in this country are like it. Go and enjoy the party or dont go because you dont like parties but dont project your prejudices onto others, you’re probably assigning political views onto others that really aren’t there.

    Premier Icon joshvegas
    Free Member

    but I’m really looking forward to my week in France only using 3 days holiday, cheers Liz. Bonus, I won’t see any of the celebrations

    the state she was in i am wondering if its only the first extra holiday we get this year in the name of the chief sponger.

    Premier Icon davros
    Free Member

    Find some urgent DIY jobs to busy yourself with. Drill through a pipe or something.

    Premier Icon joshvegas
    Free Member

    drill through your foot trying to erect a flag pole.

    Premier Icon Klunk
    Free Member

    get drunk and make a scene, urinating on the germans portrait should do it.

    Premier Icon scruffythefirst
    Free Member

    Life’s too short, go ride a bike instead. If your missus loves you, she will forgive you. If she doesn’t, more time to ride bikes.

    Premier Icon singletrackmind
    Full Member

    Ride there in your full sausage fest lycra. In fact enhance your package with a strategically placed courgette.
    Have some nice gammon sandwiches and crisps, remove courgette, ride home.
    You might get offered some extras from tipsy ladies. Best declined if you want to stay married.
    What could possibly go wrong

    Premier Icon argee
    Full Member

    Just go and let your kids enjoy playing with other kids, your wife chat to her friends/family and just mingle, it’s the way of life for most, be it kids birthday’s, family events, etc, etc, you just have to suck it up at times, show up and put on a happy face!

    Premier Icon binners
    Full Member

    Go dressed as Jeremy Corbyn. Full geography teacher look, stick on beard with a little Stalin hat, Free Palestine badge, carrying round a framed, signed picture of Gerry Adams

    Premier Icon johndoh
    Free Member

    I’m not into the Royals but my wife is. We’re going to a street party because she wants to, I’m not a cock, I love her and it isn’t a big deal as the neighbours are all nice people.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Go and say how disgusting the behaviour of dumbojo and his scumbags was to her royal highness

    And watch their heads explode….

    Premier Icon duncancallum
    Full Member

    Enjoy the extra day off. Don’t be a dick.

    Mr stainypants has it right.

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 92 total)

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