Funeral anecdotes – not the best of taste warning

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  • Funeral anecdotes – not the best of taste warning
  • Premier Icon kilo
    Subscriber

    Another more sensible thread got me thinking of the slightly “informal” Irish funerals I’ve gone to over the years.

    As a kid, c5 years old, I remember being taken to a morgue in Ireland to look at a distant relative who’d decided to spend the night sleeping under a truck – not a good move for him and not a bundle of laughs for us – especialy as there were a few others awaiting collection.

    I mentioned my uncles removal in the other thread but didn’t feel it the best place to add that one neighbour on walking in and seeing the open casket took a picture of my uncle with a mobile phone, which was not expected. I also found it a bit strange that just before they put the lid down they took his glasses off and put them in his jacket pocket, I’m not sure he was planning on doing any reading!

    A mate left the suit for his father to be buried in (full Irish catholic service in England) at the undertakers but forgot to take the book he’d been reading on the bus out of the bag. The undertakers were a bit perplexed why a seemingly devout guy wanted to be buried with a copy of God is not Great

    And most recently the funeral of an old neighbour, where his 86 year old wife was so busy chatting outside she had to dash up the aisle as the music had already started.

    meehaja
    Member

    MY tactless great aunt was chatting outside my grandfathers cremation and started a conversation with “hot enough for you?” Mind you this was the same woman who asked my aunt, who’s husband died when she was 27 “so, back on the game then eh?”.

    Awful woman.

    one neighbour on walking in and seeing the open casket took a picture of my uncle with a mobile phone, which was not expected.

    The first time I read that I understood it as “deceased uncle holding a mobile phone” 😯

    Before either of us was married, my best friend and I agreed to be ‘executors’ and in charge of funeral arangements should either one of us perish unexpectedly. Last time I checked with him, he wanted a church organ rendition of ‘light my fire’ played as his coffin went in for cremation. 😕

    yunki
    Member

    I was at a funeral for an old friend earlier in the year.. he was a bad arse and a rascal at the best of times when he was alive and we were all very pleased that the lady leading the service found so many kind ways to speak of his life and achievements during the service..

    Amongst other things she spoke of his wonderful sense of humour.. and his ability to befriend all those he met.. and how he had touched each and everyone present with his caring friendship..

    So it was received with great cheer when outside of the chapel after the service a good friend renowned for speaking his mind and also for breaking the tension made the following speech:

    ‘Well that was nice but what a load of bollocks..
    Sam didn’t have a wonderful sense of humour.. he had a vicious sense of humour..
    I was drinking with him in the Kings Arms a fortnight ago.. he was in there with some fella that he had got chatting to..
    Sam’d only met him twenty minutes earlier and he’d already stolen the poor blokes false teeth and thrown them onto the roof of the pub..! That’s how well he befriends people..
    and as for touching each and every one of us..!?
    Well there’s not a single man of all the people gathered here today that Sam hasn’t headbutted at some time..

    don’t laugh..!! You all know it’s true…’

    And so it was.. but by this time everyone in the large congregation and especially Sams family was in fits of laughter.. even the slightly grudging minister had a wry smile..

    a touching moment indeed.. 🙂

    Good friend of mine died of bad lyifestyle – fags and booze. We walked in to the sound of “cigarettes and alcohol” oasis. People doid not know whether to laugh or cry. Rehab was also played – he has had a warning hert attack a while before but refused to change

    So of tragic and comic at the same time

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Subscriber

    As we came out the crem after my Nan’s service, everyone was very teary eyed, when a huge thunderstorm kicked off right above us.

    “She arrived safely then” was my immediate reaction, followed by surprise that this internal thought had actually come out of my mouth.

    Did break the tension though.

    My nan nearly fell in the grave at my dads funeral, my mum fell over the cross of another grave.
    I went down in family history at the wake.
    A woman came up to me and said ‘you have your fathers eyes’…. I didn’t think and replied with ‘I hope not…. we buried them this morning’. I was nearly responsible for my grandads funeral at that one as he has a bad heart and couldn’t stop laughing

    MoreCashThanDash. Thats awesome, well done

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Humour is a great coping mechanism. It’s how I get through life.

    I sincerely hope that at my funeral my remaining friends are crying tears of laughter. I can’t imagine a worse send-off than everyone standing around being morbid; a funeral should be a celebration of life, IMHO.

    gusamc
    Member

    my parents were at a very wet, very dour, very northern Scottish funeral, and there was a distinct splash as the coffin went in, the bloke in front of them said ‘well if she’s no deid noo she will be soon’

    Premier Icon cliffyc
    Subscriber

    Two stories from me Mum’s local vicar.They were burying some soul last winter in the village near Mum,as you may recall weather had been below freezing for many weeks.as a result of the hard ground,the gravedigger had obviously had a tough time at his task.The words spoken, it came time to lower the coffin into the ground,it would not fit,the hole being too short and led to a bit of impromtu pushing and shoving to get it in!.On another occasion the Rev. was still mid-speech when there was a big thud, as a huge clod of earth and turf landed on the casket as it lay in the grave.The Vicar and everyone at the graveside jumped in surprise.The Vicar asked the undertaker why he had launched the soil bomb into the grave,he replied “As you were speaking I noticed I had spelt her name wrong on the brass plaque!!”.

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