friends with benefits

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  • friends with benefits
  • Wheelie good
    Member

    Works fine as long as you both understand the arrangement, I’ve only done it the once lasted a couple of months, then I realised it wasn’t really what I wanted, the guy was totally cool when I called it off, we are still mates and still hang out, not weird or awkward, and definitely no hurt feelings on either side.

    Mister P
    Member

    Never heard of this ending well.

    I suspect those saying ‘it worked fine for me’ might hear a different story from the other party.

    She is getting married to a mate of mine next month so I guess it worked out well for everyone in this instance.

    hora
    Member

    Wheelie good you do realise that you are in his back-catalogue/**** bank and blokes readily dip into that on a regular basis though.

    Wheelie good
    Member

    Hora, why would that bother me?

    hora
    Member

    *hora is sat at his keyboard, mouth open and hand hovering over the keyboard not knowing what to say/type at that comeback*

    πŸ˜€

    avdave2
    Member

    Never heard of this ending well.

    It can be far worse than you can ever imagine. I tried this once and the end result has been that we’ve been married 18 years and got 3 kids!

    Wheelie good
    Member

    Did I actually just render you speechless? A singletrack first? 😯

    Shibboleth
    Member

    I’ve had a few of these since becoming single 5 years ago. Mostly younger women that I know through work, or non-social situations – definitely one of the advantages of being single in your 30s. They’ve always been instigated by the woman, and ground rules put in place first.
    I’d say all except one ended because they got emotionally involved. The other – and the most enjoyable – ended because she moved back to Australia, but even she was starting to get a bit clingy.
    She also had a few female FWBs, so it was a win-win situation for me, and I didn’t end up with several bottles of shampoo in my shower… (and no, that’s not a euphemism.)

    hora
    Member

    Did I actually just render you speechless? A singletrack first?

    [nods]

    Junkyard
    Member

    She is getting married to a mate of mine next month so I guess it worked out well for everyone in this instance.

    Not sure the FWB changing to an actual full blown love with a marriage can be described as a success. The whole point was to not have a relationship but have sex surely – I speak as someone who has never done it mind.

    As long as you don’t confuse sex with love, and you both really are being honest about it, it’s fine

    I suspect this is the rule of thumb. I suspect many cannot actually do this once they start hence why it goes wrong- not for all though as this thread shows
    Personally, and each to their own, i cannot and would not want to separate sex and emotion- when it ends in marriage it seems fair to say they failed to do that as well.

    hora
    Member

    As long as you don’t confuse sex with love, and you both really are being honest about it, it’s fine

    Alittle too much info but timings/the smell of another mans jizz and timing your own not to leave a smell/evidence also need to be considered….

    nwgiles
    Member

    hora – Member
    *hora is sat at his keyboard, mouth open and hand hovering over…*

    Too much Information

    Premier Icon gofasterstripes
    Subscriber

    @Hora: Wat, umm…. Wat?!

    hora
    Member

    Its also about the lady you are seeing not doing it two days before you with her bf/hubby….timing… 😯

    Pigface
    Member

    Bloody Nora Hora 😯

    emsz
    Member

    My FWB was an Ex so it was all a bit to close for comfort. It was too easy, bit of wine bit of chat, before you know it…

    It was hard not to feel a bit used and a bit sordid after though

    nwgiles
    Member

    emsz – Member
    It was hard not to feel a bit used and a bit sordid after though

    but did you enjoy it?

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Subscriber

    junkyard wrote:

    i cannot and would not want to separate sex and emotion

    Does that emotion have to be full-blown love though, or can you accept that it could be something else – a very deep friendship for instance?

    crikey
    Member

    It was hard not to feel a bit used and a bit sordid after though

    So just like masturbating, but with someone to talk to? πŸ˜€

    emsz
    Member

    Crikey..errrr no, not really my love. I think you might be doing it wrong πŸ˜†

    Shibboleth
    Member

    Never did understand that sordid, used feeling… Is it just a chick thing?

    It does work and can work without hurting each other. I went round for dinner to a friend of mine the other day – we have previously been FWB, we no longer are, but we are still very much friends.

    I stopped it when i started seeing someone else a few years ago, there was no problem and we carried on being friends.

    As for drawing comparisons between girls who sleep with people on first dates and girls who have FWB, well that beggars belief IMO. having an intimate relationship with someone you know and trust and have probably considered in great depth before embarking on such and arrangement – is really not the same as jumping into bed with some random. I would expect a bit more understanding from the ladies on here

    grum
    Member

    Never did understand that sordid, used feeling… Is it just a chick thing?

    Is it still the 1970s where you live? I honestly can’t remember the last time I heard women referred to as ‘chicks’. πŸ˜†

    emsz
    Member

    If I’m honest with my self, I was hoping for something more, and maybe it would reignite something, and having a itch scratched.

    Got a bit burned I think

    zokes
    Member

    and having a itch scratched.

    Yeah, you should probably see a doctor about that!

    Shibboleth
    Member

    Sleeping with your friends is a bit bizarre IMO, if you’re close enough to be friends and the sex is OK (or better) why not a more traditional relationship even if it’s casual ?

    In my experience, and with the benefit of hindsight, women seem to offer to be FWBs as a, ahem, back door entry into a relationship with someone that might not be interested normally.

    Or, as has happened in a couple of cases with myself, a way to justify a liaison with someone that would normally be off their radar, or not considered on their radar by their peers – in my case, early twenties girls going for a late 30s guy.

    zokes
    Member

    I didn’t know you were female, shib

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    jambalaya – Member

    Sleeping with your friends is a bit bizarre IMO, if you’re close enough to be friends and the sex is OK (or better) why not a more traditional relationship even if it’s casual ?

    You’ve never had anyone you’re attracted to, and get on with well, but you’re not in love with?

    Junkyard
    Member

    Does that emotion have to be full-blown love though, or can you accept that it could be something else – a very deep friendship for instance?

    Depends what you offering sweetheart πŸ˜‰

    I dont know but I doubt it seeing as I ahve not.
    I have deep friendships with folk of both genders
    I dont want to sleep with them though
    Clearly some can do it but I dont think I am one of them.

    Like Emsz I suspect I would only do it because i wanted more.

    Shibboleth
    Member

    I didn’t know you were female, shib

    I’m not. But I sure do got a purdy mouth!

    zokes
    Member

    I’m not

    Sorry, for a moment I thought you were describing yourself as an early 20s girl going after older men πŸ˜‰

    hammyuk
    Member

    It’s surprising how many members are apparently female now as their usernames don’t appear so πŸ˜‰
    Or the closet door has been left open…..

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    I just like to point out I’ve never been approached by a girl in here twenty’s after a FWB, or Shibboleth.

    *feels neglected*

    Cletus
    Member

    I have had a couple of FWB relationships which were both caused largely by circumstances.

    The first was with a girl I used to work in a pub with. This was in the old days where pubs had to close after lunchtime (2:30pm) and opened again at 5pm. When we were both working the lunchtime and early evening shifts she used to come to my parents house which was five minutes walk away rather than go back to hers which was a few miles. Having a couple of hours to kill and little in the way of entertainment (pre-facebook, DVD etc.) we soon started making our own entertainment in the conveniently empty house.

    It was good fun and, as we were both recent graduates looking for career type jobs that would probably take us away from the area, neither of us took it too seriously. It lasted about two months before I got a job and moved away.

    The second one was actually only a few months after this. I had moved to Reading and was living in a shared house with two other guys who worked days and a girl who was a student at the university. My job required me to work Saturdays so my “weekend” was Sunday-Monday. The student girl did not have any lectures on Mondays so we used to have a late breakfast and slob about. You can guess the rest.

    Both of these FWB setups were largely as the result of circumstances and worked out ok.

    Premier Icon BigDummy
    Subscriber

    I haven’t been here for a while. People told me it had got boring. This thread, and especially the genius of Hora, confirms that they were wrong.

    😯 πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    . My job required me to work Saturdays so my “weekend” was Sunday-Monday. The student girl did not have any lectures on Mondays so we used to have a late breakfast and slob about. You can guess the rest.

    She could have been sharing with the rest of the household for the other 5 days. Euuugh.

    slimjim78
    Member

    main trouble is that after you get married, the FWB’s tend to get a bit thin on the ground.
    apparently.

    nicko74
    Member

    the FWB’s tend to get a bit thin on the ground.
    apparently.

    Is your wife not your friend? Or you don’t want ‘benefits’ from her?
    πŸ˜‰

Viewing 39 posts - 81 through 119 (of 119 total)

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