if they're fat and/or ugly i won't go there

likewise if they've never traveled (or want to) much beyond the UK

other than that, it's all good……

I met my ideal girl, but she didn't love me back.
My wife is my silver medal.

Nothing so funny as men talking about the women 'they' chose, or would choose.

I've worked with women for 20 years and you lot really haven't got a clue!

Let me put it simply; it's not up to you.

I met my ideal girl, but she didn't love me back.
My wife is my silver medal.

Disagree. What made her your ideal girl? My ex was amazing looking and a killer-body. I dumped her. Now the male attention shes received turned her into a right nut-job.

I personally think my gf is perfect compared to that veneer.

Took me till i was 40 to meet my ideal partner, now wife, i knew as soon as i met her she was the one.

If you have to think about it, or you hesitate, she ain't the one.

>i knew as soon as i met her she was the one.

A pulse AND carrying a pint! You are indeed blessed 🙂

allthepies you are a wise man 8)

come on then crikey, pearls & swine lets hear them..

I'm not sure if there is an 'ideal' – but I don't think I could compromise on: well, you have to fancy them, obviously, things like honesty/decency, similar intelligence, similar values, OK with money

My 'ideal' man had all those things the OP mentioned (okay, he was at uni, but he's likely to get a decent job from it, and I didn't note 'sporty' as a necessity). I probably made concessions on a few things – like him being 'too' into biking, forgetting things, etc. but it was all very small and crucially, none of it felt like like I was giving up anything – I didn't secretly resent him; I accepted it was part of who he is.

My mum's friend has had a number of boyfriends in the past, but she says she was too picky and feels 'it's too late now'. I think that's very sad.

Don't dismiss someone because they aren't sporty btw – I certainly wasn't. But I realised that if I was going to stay with my then OH, I would probably have to take up biking, (it was more because I didn't understand what he was talking about most of the time!) and I happily did.
As far as job goes – it's far more important to me that that person has some sort of (though not too much) ambition/drive – as long as he isn't a lazy sod then I don't really mind what kind of job he has, as long as he can support himself.

One other crucial thing you need to look for in a partner though, is make damn well sure they fancy you!

I think I'd be wasting my time….

Whoah! some of you are deep thinkers, if you think they are hot and they feel likewise 💡 Surely all the things mentioned can be filed under hot!

Hows your art degree going miaowing kat?

Isn't this one of life's eternal questions?

If she's a stunner today what will she be like in 10 years time? What if she puts on a load of weight and gives up taking care of herself? What if she leaves that good job? What do you do then?

On the other hand if you don't fancy her now or she's not sporty now…

In my experience (3rd serious relationship, once married, once divorced) you will always have to make some kind of compromise. I mean in a perfect world I'd be married to Cameron Diaz, she'd encourage me to go riding every day, to watch endless hours of sport, to mindlessly surf the web and to spend hours alone in the garage fettling with my bikes whilst bringing me numerous refreshments and hearty meals. She'd also happily engage in lesbian activities and perform sex acts at my command. Surely anything less than that is a compromise…

Isn't it more about accepting people for who they are and having someone to share the journey with. Or am I getting old?

when i met my mrs she was hot(still is) wealthy classy clever and salt of the earth.
opposites it seems do atract. 😯

What I want to know is why are the best shags always mental?

crikey your full of it then.

i dont remember meeting my far better half and whipping out the checklist, i remember thinking 'christ she's fit' then later, 'she's pretty funny and smart too'

5 years later she's just paid my tuition fees on top of owing her a few grand 😀

**** result!

Meat, gristle and hatred.

Pick 3.

Whatever..

Do you compromise when you buy your new bike?

Yes ? Then in a few years time those compromises are just too much for you. You're off demoing new models and that once shiny bike you adored is up for sale on Ebay 'cos it's not quite what you want.

You're now looking at that top of the range, titanium, custom built dream machine that you know you want but just can't afford. So you compromise and the whole cycle begins again……

If she's a stunner today what will she be like in 10 years time?

Yeah so you're meant to check out her Mum to see how she'll develop – never marry anyone who's Mum you don't fancy.

The secret to a happy marriage is choosing a wife who is smarter and at least five years younger than you

If you care about a woman and stay with her long enough, they become your ideal woman.
If you happen to meet the 'ideal woman' on the very first date you probably were very drunk or she was.
Even instant 'love' has to be worked at long term.

I am 34yrs with same woman, she is my ideal, but I dont ask her if I am her ideal cos I know I cannot match her.

Yeah so you're meant to check out her Mum to see how she'll develop – never marry anyone who's Mum you don't fancy.

Or save up for plastic surgery later in life …..

The 50-year-old mother who has spent £10,000 on surgery to look like her daughter

mudshark speaks the good truth! if there was no compromise then it would only be keira knightly, BUT, that's impossible! So, compromise and adapt.

Think its a compromise on both sides

Thought idea was never to date a woman with an iq bigger than her bra size.

Messed up there big time but been with Mrs B for 16 years happy next month.

I know that I still feel lucky to be dating her and she passed a similar comment the other day about me. Think that may be the secret.

She is one of the least sporty people I know but doesn't mind me doing my thing and I try to make sure I do not over do the events. Inevitably compromises on both sides but I hope we grow old(er) together.

Can I throw in good pension provision as a requirement? Mrs B has a final salary pension;-)

crikey are you Vicky Pollard?

"whateverrrr…"

my wife ticks all; but remember the word you used; compromise?

shared values – for the majority, yes; but when combined with enough intelligence, doesn't have to be every sinlge value as you can discuss and agree to disagree and move on if needs be

job; she does now if by that you mean well paid and she is happy doing it; not necessarily so when we met (both in retail at that point!)

There is a lot of growing you do together and these ticks probably become more emphasised as this happens, compared to when you first meet.

Personally, though, smart, hot with shared ambition/interest would be the criteria I'd use to evaluate if, God forbid, I had to do so again!!!

I found Ms Right.

I just didn't realise that her first name was "Always"

"The secret to a happy marriage is choosing a wife who is smarter and at least five years younger than you"

So women should pick a man who's five years older and a bit dim – shouldn't be too hard! 😆

My husband is lovely, (very) tall, dark and handsome, awesome sense of humour, smart, and six months younger than me. We get on just fine. 😉

I did have to compromise on the fact he likes Nine Inch Nails instead of proper metal though, and doesn't like Star Wars.

Intelligent, fit, wealthy, cooks brilliantly, ski's like a goddess, but a bit crazy. That'll do nicely, now married with 2 kids.

chap here at work has been through a hundred girls but each one gets dumped eventually because they're 'not perfect'. He's a nice enough chap but his attitude is a bit pathetic in this respect. He's been with one girl now for about 18 months, she made the suggestion that they get engaged, even from his point of view it was 'just a suggestion'. She was out within a couple of days. When we asked him how close to perfect she was he said 'oooh, about 95%'. Dickhead.

It's all a compromise. If you even start to consider not accepting some level of compromise to find happiness in a relationship, take a good look in the mirror. You're not so **** great either.

oh for me…. My wife is a great cook, good sense of humour, good looking, seems loyal enough but as nutty as a fruitcake and seriously hard work sometimes. Ho hum.

chap here at work has been through a hundred girls but each one gets dumped eventually because they're 'not perfect'. He's a nice enough chap but his attitude is a bit pathetic in this respect. He's been with one girl now for about 18 months, she made the suggestion that they get engaged, even from his point of view it was 'just a suggestion'. She was out within a couple of days. When we asked him how close to perfect she was he said 'oooh, about 95%'. Dickhead.

Is he an only child? Or possibly he needs to see a Psychologist. That is quite sad 🙁

ex-pat I WEAR the trousers in my house. My Gf tells me which ones to wear and when.

The worse thing in the world is to look back and see what you let slip through your fingers

"The worse thing in the world is to look back and see what you let slip through your fingers" – HOW THE HELL DO YOU QUOTE ANOTHER POST?

Completely agree with you hora. I had it all and through it all away. In someways it wasn't my fault – long story but the crux of it is that I had a bipolar episode and whilst completely manic I left my wife for someone else…

I've been lucky enough to get a second chance with another great girl, but I can't help but occassionally think "What if?".

hora – Member

I met my ideal girl, but she didn't love me back.
My wife is my silver medal.

Disagree.

Hora, even for someone who spouts as much crap as you do, disagreeing with someone's thoughts on their own personal situation really is spectacular.

Nope. He has a brother. I always assumed this sort of behaviour was down to being mollycoddled and comparing all their girlfriends to their mothers but I'm not sure in this case, other than this he seems a well rounded, sensible individual. He could of course just not fancy getting married, that'd explain everything, and be perfectly acceptable. He certainly seems to have a lot of fun with all the girls he's seeing (I think he has two on the go at the moment, weeks after ditching his ex, who are in his own words, 'one is fat and ugly but a great laugh and amazing in bed, the other is georgeous but a bit thick.'

samuri now you elaborate I feel alittle jealous 😐

I love the fact that all you men think it was your decision on who to marry/accept etc.
As Lady Astor put it

I married beneath me, all women do

My chap compromised on the fact that he didn't like or want children and I have two of them. Not sure how grateful to feel as I'm not sure how otherwise perfect he considers me… I get the feeling that being 'soiled goods' is quite a deal breaker with the chaps.

To be honest there are a lot of nice normal mature guys out there who really enjoy spending time with nice kids and doing some, or a lot of, parenting given the opportunity, but who (for one reason or another) do not have kids of their own. So no, it depends on the individual but it can actually be a plus point. Happily :O)

When you realise that you, yourself are not perfect, why would you expect others to be.