Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 99 total)
  • Finding out about someone discretely
  • hoonose
    Free Member

    There is a person at work above me whom I and my other colleagues strongly suspect, and in some instances know for a fact, has been telling whoppers about her private life for quite some time.

    We strongly doubt her version of her home situation, so much so that we don’t belief a recent ‘life event’ actually happened. She has a very minimal Facebook presence,other colleagues are FB friends and she gives very little away.

    So apart from calling Magnum PI how can one find out about someone’s past and present without them knowing? We know her name and address.

    qwerty
    Free Member

    Drug & torture 👿

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    Why do you care? If she wants to live a lie, let her.

    That said, what are the whoppers?

    IanMunro
    Free Member

    Given that *YOU* hoonose clearly want to stay anonymous, maybe you should respect your work colleague’s privacy also.

    qwerty
    Free Member

    Gently probe her 😯

    hoonose
    Free Member

    We care in case she starts telling lies to her superiors about us and vice versa. Also we don’t like being taken for mugs. She is our boss and it undermines our trust in her.
    I don’t really want to detail the whoppers, but we have serious doubts about every aspect of her home life.

    Notter
    Free Member

    “Why do you care?” +1….

    Unless you have aspirations on becoming a tabloid journalist?

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    is she fit?

    IanMunro
    Free Member

    She is our boss and it undermines our trust in her.

    Well given that you want to metaphorically rummage through her knicker drawer, the trust has already gone hasn’t it.

    Pawsy_Bear
    Free Member

    +1 what business is it of yours? Frankly you and your friends are the odd ones. Leave her to her privacy

    jota180
    Free Member

    #curtaintwitcher

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    Do you have evidence (even suspicion) of her lying at/about work? If not then you have little to worry about.

    Her home life couldn’t be less of your business. How would you feel if she was checking up on every story you told about what happened at the weekend/in the pub/on your holidays?

    qwerty
    Free Member

    💡 Live under her floor boards for a week (don’t forget your poobags) 😉

    Bregante
    Full Member

    whoppers about her private life

    There’s a clue in there somewhere.

    Take a look at article 8 of the HRA.

    Edit: Actually I do know a guy.

    hoonose
    Free Member

    I want to stay anonymous so this doesn’t come back on me. So as to avoid anymore dodgy suggestions a la qwrerty,I’ll concede one thing, it’s actually a bloke not a woman, it was getting tricky to remember to put she/her each time rather than he/him anyway.

    One possible lie is he claims to have gone to a very famous public school, but other things he’s said like ” that famous person was two years above me” don’t add up when a quick google confirms said celeb went to a different school.

    This is one of the smaller potential fictions.

    hoonose
    Free Member

    It would be fine if he kept his private life private, but he wants to tell us about the amazing things in his life which we don’t believe. Its been going on for years.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    So you’re using a second log in to ask how to spy on your boss?

    Would it be ok if we all tried to find out who you really are?
    Even if we did it discretely?

    🙂

    andyl
    Free Member

    she has now turned into a he?

    edit: just saw above.

    Live and let live unless it’s affecting work. Life’s too short.

    dannyh
    Free Member

    This is one of the weirdest threads I’ve seen in a long time, and that is saying something.

    If you have no trust in him/her/it/whatever in a work sense, then you’re going to have to start logging everything and getting everything in writing. This will obviously sour the relationship, but if they are lying then it will at least let them know that you know, if you see what I mean.

    Other than this, it really is nothing to do with you.

    saxabar
    Free Member

    Yes, Chipps really did go to Sandhurst 😉

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    Yes, Chipps really did go to Sandhurst

    and was 2 years below Optimus Prime.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    I’ll donate a tenner to the chosen charity of whoever confirms the original id of the op.

    hoonose
    Free Member

    I can see the ‘none of my business’ point of view,but how would you feel if you felt you were being fed more and more BS by your boss, when you work in the same small office space, day after day?

    hoonose
    Free Member

    Jesus, that will take two minutes, rusty spanner.

    DezB
    Free Member

    Coincidence that Robert De Niro should appear in this thread cos I went to school with him.

    saxabar
    Free Member

    I’d find it both funny and sad, and still none of my business.

    teasel
    Free Member

    If you managed to find the truth behind your suspicions and it transpired that the person was lying, how would you handle it? Would you and your colleagues join in a pisstake ner ner type scenario or will you scratch beneath the surface to try and discover why someone would want to lie in the first instance…?

    hoonose
    Free Member

    DezB, was he above or below you?

    brooess
    Free Member

    2 questions:

    1. If you do get some more info from your hired source, what are you going to do with it? Get him sacked? Not sure where that leaves you
    2. If you’re found out even considering doing this I suspect you’ll find yourself sacked pretty damn fast and then will have to explain it to future employers.

    There’s twice when I’ve had dishonest bosses (lying at work, not about personal matters) which was affecting my ability to be effective at work and both times I simply kept a diary of their contradictions and lies, ready to show HR if for any reason they tried to implicate me. I would suggest this is your best and most legal strategy…

    Re your post about getting fed up with it, OP, both the people I refer to above had very very fast staff turnover ie: people just left. That’s your best strategy IMO…

    Cougar
    Full Member

    If (s)he is a teller of tall tales regarding her home life, it’s their own business. If the lies are impacting work however, covering up absences for instance, that’s a HR issue.

    I think some people are just wired that way. I’ve known a couple of lads over the years who were serial bullshitters, pure and simple.

    hoonose
    Free Member

    Good question teasel, the potential lies are too big to laugh off! We already have him down as a sociopath.

    brooess
    Free Member

    We already have him down as a sociopath.

    You mean psychopath. Read Robert Hare, Without Conscience to understand psychopaths and then write your resignation letter – there’s nothing you can do about them except get away from them… there’s a reason why they end up in the news and in jail – they ruin the lives of everyone around them and there’s not a lot you can do about it IME

    hoonose
    Free Member

    Well put cougar.

    It’s the potential lack of two weeks authorised absence that he is now due which has sent our paranoia in to overdrive!

    Edit: how’s the dehumidifier doing by the way?

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    So why not use your 1st log on then? 🙂

    aracer
    Free Member

    Just make up some tall stories of your own. Like when he makes some claim about being at school with someone famous, say how that’s strange because they were in your class.

    dooge
    Free Member

    Finding out anything factual about him through work is a breach of data protection and I dont see any other way except hacking into Facebook, etc. I do find it a bit strange that you want to find out about him. You are always going to get bullsh*tters in every job or someone who exagerates a bit but the only issue I can see is if he is making lies up about you and your colleagues that could result in blocking your career or worse.

    hoonose
    Free Member

    RS I refer you to Brooess’ point no.2.

    The thing is brooess, apart from this issue I really like this job! Great colleagues and customers, etc.

    I think it’s time I shut up now.

    chip
    Free Member

    If he said his dad was the first one in at the Iranian embassy , he’s lying that was my dad.
    He once had a trial for United, Can’t help .
    He did all of girls allowed starting with the ginger one , maybe, I would .

    What does it matter,
    I worked with a Walter Mitty type and it was a great source of amusement. Also anything you bought he could have always got it cheaper.

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    I worked with a Walter Mitty type and it was a great source of amusement. Also anything you bought he could have always got it cheaper.

    Ah, the old ‘Elevenerife’, so named because if you had been to Tenerife…

    chip
    Free Member

    Billy two sheds, 😀

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