Life has got to me of late. I have lost a lot of people from my life – either moving away or departing this world. The most recent was my eldest brother who died 2 days before his 48th birthday last year. I haven’t taken it well, on the outside I am seemingly fine, but inside I am in absolute turmoil. Work is not enjoyable, I have several injuries and I am just not looking after myself at all (everyone else, yes… me… not so much). Last year I was borderline suicidal most of the time, this year has been better, but I feel like I am slipping a bit again.

So… looking at setting up a lifestyle/subsistence level business (money is not the end goal here, so long as we have “enough” that will be fine) and working on locations. I have about 4 in mind:

Dumfries & Galloway is the “easy” option – could maintain working in the Lakes whilst I established and it wouldn’t be too much of a burden on relatives. Always loved visiting the area, although I don’t know it well.

Stirlingshire/Perthshire – the second “easy” option as I know it well, have a social life there anyway… but it isn’t quite where I want to live (would like some sea as well as some hills). Not the cheapest either!

Argyll/Lorne – basically anywhere up the West Coast from Lochgilphead to Fort William. This would seem to fill most the ideals whilst not being too far removed from everyone else.

Mull/Other Island – the dream I guess! I think this is where I would be happiest, my wife loved Mull as did the kids. It does come with some complications though – like needing a ferry to see relatives/daughter in Glasgow!

With a bit of luck we may have enough equity in our house in the Lakes to cover something with business potential in most of these areas and ideally without a mortgage. Any thoughts on locations, or moving a family and starting something new somewhere new are much appreciated. Obviously some riding would be nice, but I am probably more fixed on stunning scenery/coasts for photography and exploring just now (due to many injuries I have been off the bike for 4 months anyway, and it looks like that may be the case for a good while longer).

A word to the wise. Making plans to up and leave when your head is the way it is now is a normal response. It’s the old “fight or flight “ reflex telling you to do a runner. Trouble is, when you get there, your head will still be in the same place and you will be carrying the same baggage. Plus you will have a whole new load of stress to deal with.
Speak to your GP about how you feel, get the support you need to get you through the bad time and consider the plan with a clear head.

hey Rob. — first of all , sorry to hear about your brother. I think stuff that close will always hit hard (although I’ve been fortunate mostly, it’s the ones you don’t see coming that get you the hardest. Mum died last autumn – that was not bad; @soulrider in January was awful).

Get out and do stuff you enjoy. Small steps. I know you mentioned a place to go before, that has its own pitfalls with regards making friends, all the rest of it. Grass is always greener and all that too.

Biking may be off the agenda for now (and I imagine that hurts mightily) – can you at least go for walks and stuff – either solo, with family or just meet up?

I’ll repeat Neil’s advice, as in the past I have made some truly awful decisions when the black dog was tearing at my trousers.

Thanks for the thoughts – I have just taken a few days to chill and reflect. We (as a family) have been talking and really… there isn’t much for us here any longer – and a change is needed (for a number of sensible reasons as well as a number of emotional ones to be fair) and we are starting to come up with a plan!

Leaving the area we are in isn’t going to be a great wrench as pretty much our entire social circle have left or are about to leave – so we are an island! Most of the rest of our social life is in Scotland, so getting closer is starting to become ever more important, as is finding a nice tranquil place.

First step is a mini fact finding exercise next week with a bit of a road trip – but we seem to be settling on the “sensible” option based around an area bordered by Dumfries – Gatehouse of Fleet and back along the coast, although we are going to take a look up Loch Ken too I think.

We either make a fresh start where we are, or make a fresh start somewhere else which may have the benefit of easing the financial stress at the same time.

I do get what you are saying about not making decisions whilst suffering from depression, but I think a large part of the depression is because of the place we are (as well as the catalogue of losses that we have had in the family over the last few years) so I think looking at where we could make a fresh start does make a good bit of sense… whilst conceding that running away to the west Highlands is probably a bit too dramatic!

I’d echo the other posters, but I moved away after my brother died. Nowhere nice though, just from West Yorkshire to Macclesfield. Too many memories and reminders of things (good and bad) where I was. If your wife is in agreement and is fully aware of how you are feeling then it is worth exploring further.