Fatherhood – 5 months in

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  • Fatherhood – 5 months in
  • Coming from another angle, I’m 5 weeks in from an adoption placement of a little boy and baby girl.

    The little buggers are a pure joy to be around and loving every moment of it. They are the only thing I think of at the moment and just want to be with them all the time. Both have colds at the moment and it’s horrible seeing them suffering especially my daughter as she can’t tell me how poorly she feels. πŸ˜₯

    brack
    Member

    Re the impact on riding..

    To be honest .. I still ride 2 days a week though I’m fortunate not only with my partner but also with my shift patterns at work which whilst being tiring, allow me large stints of quality time with my family.

    I used to disappear at least once a month on a trip – as I found myself kicking around a lot waiting for my other half to finish work. That certainly hasn’t happened since my son arrived..

    Do I miss it… ? Sure

    But now I just can’t wait till I can share it all with my lad.

    Premier Icon BoomBip
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    I think prior to that I struggled to comprehend the loss of personal freedom that comes with being a parent

    You’re not alone on that – I struggled a lot with it in the beginning, not to the detriment of my son because it’s overwhelming sometimes how precious he is to me. For me, it was more a case of adapting to the change and becoming a dad in addition to rather than to the exclusion of everything else. There wasn’t a huge hole that needed to be filled but now I couldn’t imagine a life without him.

    Premier Icon mrblobby
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    Yup, 1st 6 months when they just sit there and poo is a bit wearing but then the personality kicks in and it just gets better and better.

    This for the first 9 months or so! 20 months in here and I don’t actually remember much about those first few months other than a relentlessly exhausting routing. It then gets a lot more fun πŸ™‚

    I get to do it all over again in Feb when no 2 comes along, both looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure!

    Am i being realistic to still get out on a couple of rides a week?

    I didn’t touch the bike for the first 6 months. Since then it’s been grabbing time on the turbo whenever I can. I still don’t get to ride outdoors much! Also expect to be tired all the time, which makes training doubly difficult.

    I think prior to that I struggled to comprehend the loss of personal freedom that comes with being a parent

    Still get frustrated with this sometimes (selfish inner chimp thing probably!) but having my boy more than makes up for it. Being a dad is brilliant πŸ™‚

    It really is hard to get anything done though. Whether I’m working from home or trying to do some work on the turbo it’s difficult to ignore this…

    … shortly after taking this photo I let him in my office and he went straight for the UPS off button!

    Edit…

    Mulletus Maximus – Member
    Coming from another angle, I’m 5 weeks in from an adoption placement of a little boy and baby girl.

    That’s brilliant πŸ™‚ How are you finding fitting in training and racing?

    Premier Icon doug_basqueMTB.com
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    8 weeks in here and it’s a special thing right enough! I’ve found parts of me I didn’t know existed. Today is hard because she has decided not to sleep unless it is ontop of one of us but I guess it will get easier again! I’m lucky too in that I don’t have to work until April. Biking has been fitted in around her, early mornings and late evenings and I have lost the all day epics for just now but it’ll come back… Won’t it?! At the moment I’m getting out for two or three hours around four times a week, it’s enough.

    Great thread and its really interesting to read others experiences.

    bob_summers
    Member

    No real difference for me in training – have to be a bit more inventive midweek (means the turbo has come out to play again while the days are short) and the big MTB days out are few and far between, but TBH I don’t really want to spend 10hrs away from the wee’an. Learning to do more with less time.

    You get a lot of jibes at first from your non-parent clubmates etc, about when you’re putting the bike on eBay etc, but it’s funny how the bikes almost cease to matter. It took having a bairn of my own to realise this!

    Steve, think I’ve got you sussed now. You still living in the Lile Town? Email in profile if you’ve still got your tin foil hat on πŸ˜‰

    2tyred
    Member

    Just back in from Tyred Jr the younger’s P1 nativity where he was a wise man who looked as though they just told him this morning what they were doing. Super cute, but a slight tinge of sadness that its the last P1 nativity I’ll be at.

    Up early this morning, an hour’s training on the track, back home, coffee, nativity, now work (well…) til the kids get home, then possibly an hour or two later tonight finishing some work off. Maybe a turbo or roller session tonight, maybe not.

    Nearly 9 years into fatherhood and I’ve found you can ride plenty (albeit a decent length commute and a wonderfully reasonable partner both help) – you just have to be organised, flexible and prepared to give things up some of the time, and accept that a fair bit of the time you’re using racing as training (if that makes sense).

    bob_summers
    Member

    Congrats Doug, heard you were due but haven’t heard since – a Neska, I see πŸ™‚

    2 months is still tiny but by April she’ll be more adaptable and you’ll get more riding windows – being at home is a blessing, I’m glad we’re not faffing around with nurseries etc.

    natrix
    Member

    but the activities (soft play / musical groups / stay and play stuff) are appalling. There are usually no other dads present

    Feeling your pain dude, could you ask around to see if there are any other stay at home dads in your area?? Maybe the NCT could help you link up with some other dads?

    Premier Icon mrblobby
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    but the activities (soft play / musical groups / stay and play stuff) are appalling. There are usually no other dads present

    A friend of mine is in a similar position but is loving the coffee mornings and play dates with the yummy mummies!

    LenHankie
    Member

    4yrs and 18 months here. I had forgotten that 18 months is the cutest but also most exhausting and full on stage!

    I have been out on the bike twice in the last year ( except for commuting…). Not sure how anyone else manages it.

    Premier Icon Sandwich
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    at some point you will cease to be the coolest person on the planet

    It comes back in a different guise, the Junior Sanwiches are 23 and 21 (happy birthday to him today) I’m still have daddy’s little girl (she’s married) and “the boy gets upset when he can’t keep up out on the road.

    Premier Icon ransos
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    I have been out on the bike twice in the last year ( except for commuting…). Not sure how anyone else manages it.

    Yep, I haven’t done anything other than commuting since before my daughter was born 6 weeks ago. But I look at it like this: I’ve been into cycling for over 20 years, so taking a year or two out is chuff all in the big scheme of things. I fully intend to be hooning around after I’ve qualified for my bus pass.

    Premier Icon mrblobby
    Subscriber

    Keeping your hand in with a bit of commuting is a pretty good idea. What with an injury as well I was off the bike for about 12 months. Still remember that awful first ride after a year off. Going that slowly had never felt that hard!

    happyrider
    Member

    3 years in now and our little girl is a scream! I love getting home and seeing her bounce around shouting “daddy, daddy, daddy, DADDY!” It puts a smile on my face every time I think about it. The days I leave before she wakes up and get back home after she’s gone to bed are horrible!

    It’s funny how their affection shifts from mummy to daddy depending on who’s shes spent the most time with, she went through a really clingy stage where her amazing confidence dissapeared at about 2.5 years but thankfully has got through that and is back to her usual hilarious self.

    My favourite time has to be when I ask her if she wants to go outside and play, no matter what the weather is like it’s always a “YES, can I ride my bike/scooter?”

    regarding riding, I don’t go out on weekends as that family time, I work Saturday morning so don’t want to go out for hours, I’ll do a 2-3 hour ride sometimes while she’s asleep on a Sunday but depends what needs doing round the house. Mostly commuting and night riding during the week keeps me happy.

    bencooper
    Member

    Ours is 3Β½ now – do occasionally find things like snowboards in the attic and remember that we used to have spare time and holidays, but she makes up for that 100 times over.

    The first few months are tiring but relatively simple – feed one end, clean the other end, walk up and down a lot to make fall asleep. Once they can talk you’re in trouble – once they can formulate logical arguments (instead of just shouting No!) then you’re in big trouble πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon ratherbeintobago
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    Ellie (aged 9/12) would just like to say:

    “BABABABABABABABABABABABABABA!”

    Starting at 0330, every morning, until parental rescue or until her 3yo sister wakes up.

    We are knackered. Why we ever though one was difficult…

    Premier Icon sandwicheater
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    First time dad (the wee one is 9 months) and I really must say I am very happy.

    Started off very scarred and a little hesitant that I’d’d be a terrible dad.

    He’s just so happy it can’t help but to rub off on you. All he wants to do at the moment is find things to smash his head on the little rascal.

    Even started talking about another.

    Can’t believe it’s been 9 months, it’s wizzed past.

    bencooper
    Member

    Started off very scarred and a little hesitant that I’d’d be a terrible dad.

    That’s completely normal. As is leaving the hospital wondering if they’re really going to let you just walk out of there with a baby.

    rogerthecat
    Member

    Started off very scarred and a little hesitant that I’d’d be a terrible dad.

    If you think you’re doing it all right, you’re probably crap. If you are constantly wondering about it, you’re probably doing ok! πŸ˜€

    EDIT: Guessing you meant scared, usually the mother who starts of scarred!!

    Excellent. I’ve got 8 weeks to go till mine arrives. Reading this thread has excited me no end!

    Premier Icon senor j
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    My little monster is 16.5 months old and the love is immeasurable.I believe my missus is jealous at times. ha.
    We are both knackered – no family locally – so we take turns to get an extra hours sleep here and there.
    As for riding – I don’t do long drives anymore and when I do go out I get the guilt after three hours and want to be with him asap!I think the Velominati term is Breeding & blobbing…. πŸ™‚

    Premier Icon NZCol
    Subscriber

    We’re 10 months in and its great fun. Some things have gone by the wayside but trying to balance it all is just another challenge. The total excitement when i get home and want to play is just epic !

    zeesaffa
    Member

    jekkyl – Member

    Honestly I have never been happier in my entire life than in the last 3 years since we had our little girl, I love her so much it hurts. She’s so awesome, I love to just watch her just to see what she’ll do next. Watching her sleep is bliss, then kiss her little head, sometimes she wakes ‘don’t kiss me Daddy.’
    At the moment sometimes she is a little devil.
    ‘NO I DON’T WANT TO GET DRESSED’
    ‘NO I DON’T WANT A WEE WEE’
    ‘DON’T BRUSH MY HAIR’
    ‘I DON’T WANT TO GO TO NURSERY’
    and then if you grab her to dress her she screams and struggles, lots of fun when you’ve got work at 8am knowing that any traffic problems will make you late. Being a parent really does teach you patience.
    Right now as well she’s all Mummy, so for example I’ll ask her to come for a weewee before tea or go to brush her teeth and it’ll be ‘I want mummy to do it’ or ‘Not you Daddy, go away Daddy’ lol

    Exactly what he said… word for word! πŸ™‚

    Premier Icon doug_basqueMTB.com
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    Cheers bob! Congratulations to you too, Gary was updating me. If you are ever passing through Bera just give me a shout and I will put the kettle on.

    brack
    Member

    All these stories…fabulous just fabulous ;@)

    Premier Icon molgrips
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    I have to say I was fairly even on the whole thing at first. Babies are cute and all but I could never connect. Now the first one is four and can chat properly it’s different of course, and the younger is 2.5 and is so much like me it brings out all sorts of strong feelings.

    Premier Icon mrblobby
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    For those who are only a few months in… enjoy the compliance whilst it lasts!

    (Just had an uncharacteristically difficult bedtime routine with blobby jr.)

    Premier Icon mrsi
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    The first few months were pretty brutal, to be honest there wasn’t a whole lot of enjoyment as most of the time was spent in pure survival mode. Now however (9 months in), it’s brilliant. Best thing I’ve ever done, as soon as they start giving a bit back and smiling it all feels a lot more worthwhile

    On the downside, it seems to have made me somewhat emotionally incontinent. I get all dusty eyed about some ridiculous shite these days.
    *strides manfully off to weld things and grill meat*

Viewing 29 posts - 41 through 69 (of 69 total)

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