Mostly terrible advice!
It may just be his insecurity. Politely and jokingly mention does he realise how often he does it. His reaction to being pointed out it’s a bit tiresome for a lady to hear this, will dictate next steps.
“Oh, crikey, sorry” – All good and you give a “Ah-ah-ah-no Benji” if he slips up.
“What do you mean? / Don’t be so sensitive” – Hills, run for.Posted 4 years agoCougarSubscriber
Am I being silly if I get annoyed by the constant mention of ex’s with my current boyfriend? I feel like I’m always being compared & I’m starting to wonder why he wants to be with me as they were obviously far better, at everything in incomparison.
I think it’s probably perfectly natural if he’s not long out of a longish-term relationship. When someone’s been a big part of your life for a while then it’s hard to chat about anecdotes and discuss your past without bringing them up. I know I used to do it; “have you been to such-a-place before?” – “yeah, I went with my ex once” sort of thing. I never saw it as a problem as I wasn’t discussing her (to my mind), I was discussing me. I certainly wasn’t pining back after her! I didn’t realise it was a problem until my current pointed it out to me. So if that’s your situation a) I wouldn’t read anything into it and b) I’d consider nudging him about it.
That said, if it’s more a case of him gazing wistfully into the middle distance as he reminisces about happier times, or telling you how much better she was or something, that might be a bigger problem.
Good luck.Posted 4 years agohmanchesterMember
I went out with a girl who would ask a series of questions like this :
Have you been to X before?
What did you think?
Who did you go with?
Why do you alway bring up your ex?
As Cougar says, if you’ve just shared a large chunk of your life with someone, it’s likely that they would come up in a conversation like the above.
The conversation above girlfriend didn’t last long. Chip on her shoulder about any other women in the world ever!Posted 4 years agoPJM1974Member
Unfortunately, I have to deal with MrsPJM1974’s ex frequently as he’s the father of her kids.
Given that she has a brain the size of a planet, three degrees and a lovely sense of humour it staggers me that she married a man who’d lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana. Speaking with him really is an exercise in self restraint sometimes, for his stupidity is only matched by his arrogance and pomposity.
I sincerely hope that she’s traded up…Posted 4 years agomolgripsSubscriber
As above, for a sensible response. When you go out with someone for a long time they become part of the furniture of your life so lots of your stories involve that person. I went out with a girl for ages who I really liked and was mostly a great laugh, but I wasn’t properly in love with her. I just wasn’t really aware of the situation, or didn’t want to admit it. When my now wife turned up it was obvious that she was the real thing, and I’ve not an ounce of regret, but the fact remains my ex was fun and we had some good times. You can’t really take that away.
People don’t really fit into neat boxes. Each relationship is a unique function of the two people involved. And since we are all different, our relationships are to.
Are you confident that you are both feeling the same way about each other in your new relationship? That’s the question.Posted 4 years ago
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