As long as

– no-one needs to find out
– you don’t get any guilt on and tell your partner
– you take appropriate measures against babies and the bad AIDS
– the actual lies (rather than omissions) involved are small and manageable
– you don’t make a frequent habit of it
– it doesn’t start costing enough money to threaten your family’s security
– you treat everyone you go to bed with with courtesy
– you aren’t a massive whining hypocrite when you realise your partner takes the same approach

then I reckon fair enough. It’s probably good for you, and good for your partner.

You only hear about affairs that ruin marriages. No-one ever hears about secret affairs that keep marriages together.

It’s only a shag, lighten up and spread the love

OP

Anyway, Scottish lasses are loons IME, but stil, what if’s and that.

I think you will find that Scottish Lasses are Quines,Loons are boys. 🙂

just think what kind of filthy person you are gonna be cheating with…..

Are you trying to dissuade him or encourage him?

– you don’t make a frequent habit of it

– you aren’t a massive whining hypocrite when you realise your partner takes the same approach

On those two points. Once you start where do you stop?

When your partner finds out- she most certainly will be sleeping with someone else too. Its a question of when, the whole process quick-started by yourself.

When you sleep with a different woman you will smell different. If that woman likes perfume then you’ll have it allover you regardless of how you shower. It’ll be on at least one part of you.

Vice versa is difficult to detect as we aren’t covered in stinking scent in general.

Once you start where do you stop?

I don’t know about you, but in my case my resolute willpower isn’t exactly like a dam holding back a foaming torrent of female lust.

Taking up all of the barely-solicited offers of casual sexual intimacy (as the OP describes) that have come my way in the last 10 years would have resulted in approximately 5 separate off-piste sexings. I’ve availed myself of less than half of them.

🙂

regardless of how you shower

I’m not sure you’re doing showering quite right. 😉

I refer to the scene in National Lampoon’s animal house when the devil and angel are having a battle of wills over what the guy should…you should of F****d her brains out 😉

Anyway, this colleague….is she still “lonely”?

😆

Mine is. 😀

I also keep a shitty stick to hand with which to beat off (no pun intended) the sex-crazed women (and men – I’ll happily turn them down too) who desire my body for their own sexual satisfaction 😉

Hora’s love and life lessons make feel the need to put a firm arm around his manly shoulders and ruffle his hair. Great stuff 🙂

TBH if I was going to cheat, I think I’d try to look further afield than Barbara from accounts in Swindon

Me love you long time 😀

Seeing close friends going through this right now (everyone knows but him that she’s having an affair with her boss, everyone knows but her that he is putting it around with a string of people he works with).

Yet you see them as a family and they pretend it’s all nicey nicey – I just fear for the day their world implodes and their beautiful young daughter gets caught up in a shitstorm of hatred and fighting.

Yet you see them as a family and they pretend it’s all nicey nicey

Maybe it is nicey nicey, maybe they understand their own relationship better than an outsider does ?

and ruffle his hair

GET YOUR HAND OFF MY GROIN.

Maybe it is nicey nicey, maybe they understand their own relationship better than an outsider does

Well no – neither of them know the other is playing away so what do you think would happen when it comes out? It is a relationship built on lies and dishonesty.

Well no – neither of them know the other is playing away so what do you think would happen when it comes out? It is a relationship built on lies and dishonesty.

Of course I don’t know the specifics of this situation, but my comment is just that there are a lot of ways to have a relationship, and they don’t all have to conform to a happy families image of what’s “right”. You and I might find something intolerable, but others may see some sort of a payoff elsewhere. It’s possible (and I’m not saying it is the case here, but it’s not unknown) that they both suspect, but get an erotic thrill from it.

buy him a pint first and he won’t complain, don’t worry 😉

No, she found out he was sexting with a colleague about 3 years ago, gave him an ultimatum about his behaviour (in fact she almost left him), then she decided to do it herself to get her own back at him instead.

From conversations I have had with him (and my wife with her) they both know that if the other found out that it would be the end of the relationship.

I worked with a girl who was madly involve with her fella. I think she honestly was/thought that. Yet she still sneaked around behind his back.

Why? Answers on a postcard. Weird.

Couldn’t you just have gone half way house and left after splashing your magma around the twin peaks?

Hora’s love and life lessons makes one feel the need to put a firm arm around POLICE AWARE notice across his manly shoulders .

Get your appetite anywhere, but always eat at home…

I think it was on Pistonheads where I first heard the immortal phrase:

“If in doubt, fap it out”

Which pretty much sums up the best course of action (alone)

fasthaggis. No. I’m still a geezer, not a grey empty-man past his prime like some seem to be.

My advice, rubber up that is al

I’m still a geezer, not a grey empty-man past his prime

This is the “mantra” approach to personal development in action.

😉

There’s a lot of soul-searching on this English-speaking forum; I wonder how the French feel about it? Apparently they play away all the time.

I’ve had so many opportunities in African hotels but never done it – quite apart from the infidelity aspect it just wouldn’t be worth the hassle as they are really only after a British passport.

that there are a lot of ways to have a relationship, and they don’t all have to conform to a happy families image of what’s “right”. You and I might find something intolerable, but others may see some sort of a payoff elsewhere.

+1

I’ve got a couple of acquaintances who appear have awful marriages, just listening to how they treat each other makes me sad…yet it’s quite possible they are both faithful to each other.

Contrast that with a good friend who on occasions is unfaithful, yet seems to hold together the happiest family I know.

Neither is right, but fidelity in itself is neither the key to a happy marriage, nor is it the destroyer in certain circumstances.

My own view is that you have to weigh up the pros/cons, and after a lengthy and generally happy relationship, for some people the years of guilt alone isn’t worth a night of fun.

The problem is, rational judgment is difficult when you’re a bit drunk and being come on to by someone. Most people I know who’ve cheated have struggled to say no due to the circumstances rather than simply going to try and find extra marital sex. For that reason it’s generally best to avoid getting yourself into the situation in the first place, unless of course you’ve decided that it’s something you want to do.

splashing your magma around the twin peaks?

Sorry Ed2000, that awards got a new home

” if in doubt, knock one out” Usually makes the urge go away! 😉

When away on business or at conventions, you do see married guys chasing women like its sport (probably is to some?) You have to ask yourself, how can I trust these guys in business, if they can’t even be honest in there family life?????????? Sometimes it pays to be a massive wa#ker

just to add to that, 9 times out of 10, guys who blow there beans up some tarts muff tend to get found out or get her preggers………..

It’s only a shag, lighten up and spread the love

Laughed at this, not sure its the best advice though.

Some of the terminology being used on this thread is pure poetry. What a joyous thing the English language truly is 😀

Look on the bright side OP. Theres always the internet. It makes us men like Hamsters running round a wheel…

Friend of mine says if he cheated on his wife he would be betraying himself even more than he would be betraying her.

He loves his wife (of over 20 years) to bits, but also values his view of himself and his own integrity and honesty.

He is a modest man, but says he likes to be able to look himself in the mirror without disappointment.

..as he molests the cat.

Agree with midnighthours “friend”. Tempted as I may have been, I don’t like the kind of person cheating on my wife would make me. I value my wife and son far too much to risk it all for a knee trembler with someone who I barely know and could quite possibly be really shit in bed.
Seems like there are a lot of reasons not to, and only one reason to do it.

Nothing to do with my prev post, but a married male colleague many years back had an affair with a married female co-worker. Everyone knew they were having a fling as they were not bright at hiding it and enthusiasm was clearly felt by both parties until they agreed to leave their partners. He went home and told his wife and was minus a home the next day. His girlfiend however changed her mind at the last minute, did not tell her husband of her affair and backed out of the arrangement, which came as a shock to the boyfriend who had just given up everything for her.

Then she charged her boyfriend at work with sexual harassment, presumably either to get rid of him or to appease her husband if he had heard the rumours.

Next thing we knew the boyfriend was demoted instantly to another department, career and reputation tarnished. No wife, no girlfriend, no home, no career.

Buyer beware!

It always seemed unfair that he got the most punishment and loss as it was all rather one sided in that respect. Still, neither of them was very nice anyway – as people to work with generally.

but says he likes to be able to look himself in the mirror without disappointment.

That his sheafed weapon had only slain one woman rather than a pile of adorning slain women at his feet?