I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.

The missus said “What are you doing?”

“Something I learnt from online porn – it’s called ‘buffering’.”

I’m thinking of going into business with a friend of mine. He’s had a brilliant idea – making landmines that look like prayer mats.

It’s doing rather well so far – he says prophets are going through the roof.

Well MrsGrips

Mrs TJ is out on the piss tonight so..

Play the music maestro
*Peels off shirt*

PSA:

Don’t buy a quibble from Amazon. They have a ‘no quibbles return policy’ and now I’m stuck with it.

Friend of mine has no hands. I really feel for him.

I was in bed with my new girlfriend last night and she said mine was the biggest penis she’d ever had her hands on.

I said “You’re pulling my leg”.

I was woken up last night by the bulimic girl next door.

I banged on the wall and shouted “For god’s sake, keep it down!”

Lol@cougar

However

TJ is chatting up my wife.

Oh my god

I hate women who wear too much make-up. My ex has just the right amount of foundation on her face. She’s buried under the house.

Lol TJ 😉 The little one’s not in bed yet so just hold that thought…that is a thought isn’t it? 😉

TJ is chatting up my wife.

That’s like worrying that Guernsey invading America.

*slips vest off one shoulder*

*looks coyly over other shoulder*

Bride on her wedding night says to her hubby “I must confess, I used to be a hooker”.

Her husband says “Your past is your past – it’s okay. …but I must admit, it does sound quite erotic. Tell me more about it…”

She says “My name was Dave and I played for Wigan Warriors.”

*removes shoe*

TJ is chatting up my wife.

She’s being chatted up by a one-shoed mofo who wears a vest.

I was having sex with my wife last night when she had an asthma attack. I did briefly think I was doing rather well.

*Throws sock to rapt audience*

I’ve just cooked up a huge chilli, sweet peppers and all, d’ya want some? shitload of chillis in there mind.

Ringburn. 😯

That’s like worrying that Guernsey invading America.

😆

My life is imploding here and you are making jokes.. I can’t believe it.

You’ve got no chance with her TJ. You’d only end up arguing loads.

There’re two things I reckon I’ve learnt about TJ from this forum….

1) He’s bloody persistant
2) He doesn’t believe in wearing protection

😯

Slips other shoe and sock off*

TandemJeremy – Member
*Throws sock to rapt trapped audience*

fixed it for you

*turns back on audience*

Jesus wept.

*unzips*

*throws seductive glance*

lol

Keep going little Grips is in bed 😀

Please no. I’ll do anything.

*throws seductive glance*

*Throws up*

You’ll do anything Mol?

You should have been home 😉 rather than letting me get swept off my feet by your arch- rival arguer 😛

Right so Civ4 or cleaning…
Civ4 or Cleaning…
hmmmm

I was having sex with my wife last night when she had an asthmatic attack.

… it’s my own fault, I should’ve heard them coming.

lol Cougar

the missus came into the bathroom the other day whilst i was having a shower and caught me peeing.
‘ my god’ she says, ‘thats disgusting. How often have you done that in the shower?’
‘Done it a few times ‘i replied, ‘ it just sort of happens’
‘What do you mean, sort of happens?’ she replied
‘ you know , it just sort of happens when your having a shit’ said i

Nooo!!!

*trousers slither to floor*

tj is giving me the creeps. can you not go off on some political tangent or sommat?

*Throws vest into corner*

Mrs TJ posting

What is going on here? I come home to find TJ with his pants on his head sitting winking at the computer!

heyup threesome!