I used to get the Sky sales folk round at my door trying to offer me a “one time only offer deal if i take it out today”, i told them i don’t own a TV, never have owned a TV in 22 years and probably never will own a TV. At this they appear confused, perplexed, generally chew their cheek for a second and look at their clipboard before toddling off to annoy someone else.
However a while ago they appeared at my door and tried a different tact which involves the offer of a free TV….yep you read that right…..a new TV can be mine absolutely free, gratis, nil charge, something for nowt if i sign up for a certain package that will only cost me £50 odd a month, i usually play along feigning genuine interest and ask relevant questions regarding this wondrous offer such as : Will i get Sky1?, Can i watch whatever i want?, Can i leave the TV on all day?, Is there an extra charge for the daytime viewing or nightime viewing?, Can i take my TV with me to my friends house as he doesn’t have one either?. Eventually it appears i am satisfied with their answers and i gesture to them to proceed with the paperwork, it’s a done deal as i watch their face light up with the promise of commission from closing the deal. we work through the paperwork as i agree to everything – Phoneline, Broadband, Am i interested in extra channels at only X amount extra a month?, works out at pennies a day, less than the price of a takeaway coffee so obviously i am eager by this point….yes-yes-yes – i want it all.
We get as far as the final signature where i pause for a second, poised with the Sky parker pen, that i can apparently keep, resting in the Direct Debit box as i contemplate signing away £800 plus a year for the “save the murdoch two” legal fund and i decide now is the time to drop my final question……….”If i cancel in the first month can i keep the television?”, their face drops, their jaw hangs loose, their pupils dilate and there is a distinct change in their previous friendly demeanour as they sit back and give me a look of such contempt that Rupert Murdoch himself would be proud to carry off before uttering “Have you been stringing me along?” or words to that effect. At this point i admit to the ruse and say “I’m afraid so, but look at it this way it’s been a good role playing session hasn’t it?”.
If direct sellers/jehovas/the god squad etc turn up at my door i don’t slam the door in their face like some folk do or tell them f-off as there’s no need to abuse folk in such a way – thats just plain nasty imho and you’ve got to remember that is someones mother/father/daughter/son etc and what you say could have an actual lasting effect on them – it’s much more productive if you have the time to play along and whilst it could be construed by some as being a **** i always make sure to offer them a cappuccino or a pot of tea. Some folk have a laugh and don’t seem to mind and some folk turn nasty but at least i havn’t verbally abused them or slammed a door in their face.