My friend’s wife was a district nurse. She told me about once visiting a patient and seeing a dog turd in the hallway. The patient explained that it wasn’t his dog that had done it 😯

How did you divine that said logs were left by riders? Is there some sort of course you can go on? Bristol stool chart, anyone?

“Ah, yes. I can see from the nobbles on this one that it’s been deposited by a gnarr-core mince-lite all-mountain-er.”

The trail where the ginger bastard would find them, was a narrow slippy bit of singletrack that would have been horrible to walk and in part ran alongside a stinking bog. Compared to the nature trail on the other side of the valley (30-40M away) which was clearly waymarked, had lots of interesting trees and features and you didn’t have to plough through brambles to get to.

While I didn’t see anyone curl one out in this particular location, I have no doubt it was riders due to the specific location. I am sure the Bristol riders know where I mean (descent just up from the pool on the firetrack down to Paradise bottom on the right, 3/4 of the way down the track between the two downed trees you have to wheelie, then endo over).

Whomever it was, seemed to be particularly fond of this spot, as I learnt to walk the dog past this particular place as one would turn up every few weeks.

A few people on here are proud of their trail side turds, do a search and it should turn up the threads.

I know exactly where you mean. (It wasn’t me by the way) 😀

I will keep an eye out for suspicious-looking poo.

I cleared a house for my landlord when the tenants were evicted and it was full of pooh ,some of it in with kids toys .They had also bred chicks in the house and it was littered with eggshells .The whole place stank and we had to strip everything out

Sadly MrsMCTD and I have had to deal with this problem in our respective lines of work.

We don’t have dogs, the guinea pigs live in the shed and I frankly have no idea what the giant African land snail does with is waste….

btw – guinea pigs also eat their own faeces.

I used to have a second house which due to improving circumstances I was able to let out.

the last tenant I had didn’t give a rat’s **se where his dogs cr*pped and p*ssed. All of the carpets had to be removed when we finally got the filthy b****** out

I used to work for the local council.

The things I’ve seen cannot be unseen pride of place are the following

6 month old baby in a bare room on a bare mattress surrounded by 3 dogs and associated human and dog shit
Junkies shooting up in absolute squalor
Buzzard being keep in an upstair bedroom on a perch with walls covered in bird shit

not nice but you learn to accept it.

What is really weird is the homes are often next to a couple who are so house proud its insane how clean they are

my mate did some delivery work to a premier league fotballer’s house on the wirral– he had shag pile carpets(white)–liberally covered in dog shit throughout the pad– class….

Sad but true fact this behaviour has been bred into dogs, as its beneficial to us not to have sewage/excrement lying around as it can cause diseases, its pretty disgusting but is/was a very useful trait especially in very poor regions of the world.

So it’s just one immortal turd going round and round for years?

my mate did some delivery work to a premier league fotballer’s house on the wirral– he had shag pile carpets(white)–liberally covered in dog shit throughout the pad– class….

Did your friend see a dog? I would wager he made his delivery the morning after a ‘party’.

It’s amazing that these people can keep dogs. One of the easiest and first things you do is “house train”! Dog! Shit outside!
If you can’t do that, then no dog.
Buzzards, may be a little more difficult.

So it’s just one immortal turd going round and round for years?

Depends on the type of food as to how much gets ‘left’ after digestion.

I remember reading about discussions on travelling to Mars and how to store enough food, and how the food the astronauts eat is only ~70% absorbed during digestion. Leaving 30% of the nutrients still left in the food when they pass it…. which can be reclaimed and made into patties….

shit burger anyone?

Having been a public servant in one of her majesty’s finest constabularies for well over a decade, I’m constantly surprised by the levels that our fellow man (and women) will stoop to. I currently work in one of the less affluent areas of the North East and some of the sights described by others in this thread are the norm, not the exception. Some of the scenes I’ve seen you couldn’t make up but you almost become immune to the sights and smells which I think is quite worrying. Barely a day goes by where I don’t go into a house that hasn’t got dog or cat faeces trod into the carpet/floorboards (if you can make out the floor as it’s usually ankle deep in used needles), rotting takeaway in the kitchen, animals multiplying in the corner and empty drinks cans constructively stacked taking pride of place on the coffee table/cocaine cutting area. Places where you wipe your feet on the way out. Telling me that the vacuum cleaner is broken is no longer a valid excuse!
My favourite sight of 2013? I went to someone’s house in the summer where I found they were keeping a horse in their kitchen. My face must have said it all because I was met with the answer before I’d even asked the question – “It’s too hot for him outside!”

I hate people.

I was checking out a new trail this summer, which drops in from a switchback on the road to a famous Alpine col. There is a lay-by with picnic tables at the same spot. The first 200m or so of trail had a human turd with a nice little pile of paper on top every couple of metres. WTF is wrong with some people to think this is OK?

Trail had some promise though, might have to go back… if you ever come ride with us and ride a trail called “Caught Short”, “Fallen Logs” or similar, maybe best to deploy a crud-cratcher and neo-guard…. 😉

Girlfriend & I moved into the cottage on her parents farm back in the summer, it needed full redecoration & a bit more besides, but we took it on knowing that. The last tenants were rough & as they always seem to, had moved in pets & additional family members despite it being against their agreement….

First day we got the keys we were there cleaning, ground floor is all tiles, so mopping, scrubbing etc. So, to deviate for a minute, my girlfriend has a 3yr old black Labrador who is impeccably house trained, he pee’d once in the house as a pup and that was it, put him out, and he just knew & never did it again. He’s so clean he won’t go to the toilet in his own run, just sit and bark til you let him out, and then he’ll go out in the field. Back on track, we’re just about to start the living room when the Labrador strolls in & without hesitation p****d all over the for, that said it all for me, needless to say we deep cleaned the entire place.

I worked for my dad on the building for a few years & can remember this one job for someone we’d known for years, she’d go to work early (teacher) and leave the dog (cavalier king Charles spaniel) in the house, every morning the dog would go mad & shit in the house, all over the place, often down the back of the sofa cushions, now my dad hasn’t got a very strong stomach at the best of times, but good God didn’t he heave! Owner wasn’t remotely bothered, place stank anyway, was obviously a regular occurrence.

Working at a kennels for a short spell & having to carry/empty a gallon of wet dog crap will stay with me forever, most disgusting thing ever.

Can