I undo my belt when the jeans have button flies.

does this make me gay?

It's only gay if you let your jeans hit the floor.

It's only gay if you let your jeans hit the floor.

Or, y'know, if you find yourself sexually attracted to persons of the same sex.

Button flies + 5 pints = mad panic trying undo buttons in toilets, whilst not trying to look ghey!

I find it hard to let it out when in a busy toilet! Dunno why. I would not fancy sitting down like a lady though. Thought of the old man touching the side of a nightclub toilet! just seems all wrong! A bit like a female dog sticking its leg up against a lamp post, or a male dog squating for a slash! I also find it takes a bit more shaking off these days lol is that a sign of old age?

While we are on the subject of pissing, "my mate" has just told me when hes in the bath rather that piss in the bath and stew in your own pee, he pisses on a sponge and leans over and squeezes it in the sink, the mans a GENIUS !!! 😛

I reckon he s scruffy git! Bet his GF would not like the idea of washing her face in his urine!

I was once using the urinals in a portakabin style loo at an event and this girl came in and used the urinal next to me. One of those few ocassions when you can't help but look!

All came clear when I saw the length of the queue for the ladies.

Standing up for me, except after a good night's sleep when it's less a sit than a supported handstand

• comfort – I'd rather sit down and take the chance to check my email.

eh? email?

Button flies + 5 pints = mad panic trying undo buttons in toilets

buttons on boxers which were put on inside out and only finding this out after about 5 pints

eh? email?

A new form of communication. Sort of like the telegram except it uses internets and binaries instead of wires and morse. I highly recommend it.

A new form of communication. Sort of like the telegram except it uses internets and binaries instead of wires and morse. I highly recommend it.

Overrated…..

I highly recommend it.

In the toilet? Seriously?

Weirdo

What about the p*ss just after a shag? – gotta sit down for that one.
Sit down during the night – it's just easier without the light/fan on. Less chance of a miss.

In the toilet? Seriously?

Umm, yeah?

Not much different from picking a paper/magazine while on the bog surely?

I may also: check on STW posts, answer a text, read facebook or have a quick game of Bejewelled.

How long does it take you to have a pee?
Seriously, if that's what you get up to whilst having a pee, you should think about a medical checkup

Best thread.

he pisses on a sponge and leans over and squeezes it in the sink, the mans a GENIUS

No he's not, he's revolting…

Main issues are:

• splashback and splatter – go for a piss in a urinal in light coloured chinos, examine chinos afterwards and report back with your findings.

Aim at the right bit of the urinal, however I too believe there's an inherent design flaw in all urinals which I'm currently addressing. Reduce flow speed and you'll reduce spatter. Or is that welding?

• aim – I'd rather not accidentally piss on my own loo seat as I'm the one that has to clean it. Yes it's not a difficult target but I'm sure we've all experienced the unexpected perpendicular pee, the surprise side stream or the unplanned dribble.

A little careful preparation is all that's needed, the same can happen when sat, leading to unknown wetting of trousers when it escapes under the seat. This is worse.

• shaking – so you basically just shake piss all over yourself. Nice. I'll use a bit of paper ta.

I'm starting to get the feeling you really lack coordination.

• comfort – I'd rather sit down and take the chance to check my email.

Phone out while mid-loo use, hygienic.

i would try it but I am not sure the sink would take my weight

Well it's made me the man I am.

lazlo on friday nights:

Wrong post coffeeking, there's another one about wearing wigs,that's where you put your photo

Ah, thanks for the pointer 😉

You're welcome, and I've always had a thing for redheads myself

I'm not a big fan of the helmet – porcelain interface myself, or the potential for spashback if there is an unexpected flow surge of steaming hot p!$$.

You guys need to practice tensing and holding your pelvic floor muscle. Like women have to after child birth then you would have all the control you need. It's not hard to do, it can be done while in public whilst waiting for a bus nobody knows your doing it go have a go.

Isnt that a whole other subject sturmey?!

Just about being able to control your piss seems to be where this has ended up. I think sitting down reduces your control over time stand up and take control.

What do men do standing up, women do sitting down and dogs do on three legs?

Shake hands.

I'm led to believe that men with enlarged prostates find it easier sitting down

(so, more of a man then? – as the prostate is a male organ)

Trying to undo button fly jeans without undoing belt and top button is nigh-on impossible. Also undoing top button and belt when you have a zip means less chance of catching something in the teeth of said zip… 😯

plant – Member

I was once using the urinals in a portakabin style loo at an event and this girl came in and used the urinal next to me. One of those few ocassions when you can't help but look!

All came clear when I saw the length of the queue for the ladies.

Have witnessed this myself. Was it ok to have been aroused?

Sit down at night, post sex and 1st thing in morning.

I sit, it's nice to take the time to enjoy the moment. But I'm also the one in the house with loo seat issues (ie not only should the seat be down at all times, but the lid should be down when not in use).

but the lid should be down when not in use

Here, here.

The mrs got told by her doctor that while you can relax your bladder more when you're sitting down you can't empty it properly and that's why woman have more UTIs than men. Don't know how true that is.

It's my "me" time so I take a seat and enjoy the moment. Sometime the outcome is with extras, sometimes it isn't.

Yeah if you're at home then I'll sit down whether having a piss or dropping the kids off as I can catch up on the latest Dirt, MBR or STW. At work I'm in too much of a rush for a sit down

but do you sit or stand before you wee in someones shoes and own them with a pair of bombers?

wise man once said – dont run – walk , dont walk , ride , dont ride , sit !

applies to all but manky public lavvies !

Not laughed so hard in ages…. Top stuff