Viewing 18 posts - 1 through 18 (of 18 total)
  • Do you ever feel like you get punished for trying to help yourself?
  • Premier Icon gnusmas
    Full Member

    I know my thinking is illogical but I can’t get this thought out of my mind. Believe me I’ve tried. Every time I’ve done something to try and help myself and improve or better things, something major happens. Numerous things have occurred over the past couple of years but these are the latest things.

    I started a 16 week course in the gym at the end of February, then lockdown happens. Yep, my fault, sorry.
    I spend a couple of months selling stuff to try and reduce my debt only to be met with a traumatic 3 months of hell. Wasn’t needed or wanted but it’s happened so something extra to have to deal with on top of everything else that’s happened over the past few years.
    And over the past few weeks, the bearings in my washing machine are making a hell of a racket, the tumble dryer isn’t drying properly and had a burning smell and the fridge is leaking.
    As the saying goes, it never rains but it pours.

    Like I said, I know its illogical but it’s been bloody tough going. Now I’m left with no motivation whatsoever to do anything because of it all. It’s the 3 kids I feel sorry for getting caught up in all this, not fair on them at all.
    The joys of anxiety, depression and mental exhaustion I guess.

    Premier Icon MrOvershoot
    Full Member

    Yep Alan I have about 20 things that need to be sorted both physical and sorting, but I have been thwarted at almost every turn on all but 3 of them. Work isn’t helping due to skills shortages and an utter micromanagingcockwomble of a boss!

    But you have more layers of shit to deal with than me, TBH I don’t know how you do it.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Free Member

    Honestly, I don’t feel that way, because shit is random. The universe is uncaring and unthinking, it just is. You are incredibly unlucky.

    Premier Icon oldmanmtb2
    Free Member

    I am usually punished for helping my wife and kids out…..

    Its an odd system but it works for them.

    Premier Icon Poopscoop
    Full Member

    gnusmas I completely feel for you on this. Life can be so relentless sometimes that it is bloody tough not to take it personally. I think it’s both understandable and utterly normal in fact.

    I definitely feel this way at times and my partner pretty much believes it as fact.

    All of that said, molgrips is right. People may well intentionally or accidentally do their best to make others lives beyond miserable but the universe is the ultimate detached observer. It doesn’t care about us or even itself. Sometimes I almost wish we could say it is malevolent as at least we could apportion blame then. That would help sometimes. A lot.

    Things will change though mate, sometimes for the worst, absolutely, but sometimes against all the odds for the better. When times are really bad it’s just about survival, that’s all you can do sometimes. Survive, get through it. Eventually change comes as it always does, with new worries yes, but sometimes with renewed hope too.

    I think you are a f****** gladiator personally and you’ll get to see better times along with your kids.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Full Member

    <span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>As I keep telling my son, metaphorically you can’t have fun going downhill without going uphill first, and unfortunately the uphill bit takes far longer and more effort for the short reward of the downhill.  </span>

    Soundbites not withstanding you stand out amongst others as doing a great job in a tough situation Gnusmus, keep talking.

    Premier Icon twinw4ll
    Free Member

    Yes but don’t forget the unseen good you’ve done on here mate, we know if you can keep going there is hope for the rest of us. 💪💪💪💪💪

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I hear you big man. In the last 18months we’ve had everything from kettle to washing machine die, the motivation to keep exercising is tough, and although now we’re one down the house is just so small for the 5 of us.

    Grumpy is an understatement some days…

    Premier Icon Rona
    Full Member

    Yes, I’ve been there – feeling that the universe was against me – that every time I tried to move forwards, I was batted back to where I started, or sometimes even further back.

    To be honest, I don’t know how I got past those, as you say, ‘illogical’ thoughts. These days I try to accept, as well as I can, the crap of life when it comes, and try to do the best I can under whatever circumstances I find myself in. Of course, easier said than done sometimes.

    The other side of this painful time is in front of you – keep moving or looking towards it as best you can.

    I think you are a f****** gladiator


    Premier Icon Malvern Rider
    Free Member

    Premier Icon Dickyboy
    Full Member

    The sad fact is that there are numerous people in the world far worse off than ourselves and whilst one person rails against the injustice of a failed endura discount code others are fighting for their lives. You have lost the love of your life and the mother of your children, last week my brother had to watch his wife of 36yrs take the drugs in a dignitas clinic which within moments ended her life. Luckily for them their children are grown up whilst yours are still young, they need you and you will get through this. Best of luck and heartfelt wishes.

    Premier Icon creakingdoor
    Free Member

    Gnusmas, I have nothing meaningful to say but feel it’s not right to say nothing.
    I’ve followed your story and feel desparately sorry for the situation that you find yourself in, however you will find solace in the hope and belief that things will improve, slowly and incrementally.
    The s##t fact is that right now you can’t see that time coming, but it is. And in the grand scheme of things it’s not far away.
    As I said, nothing meaningful to say, but hang on in there. You’ve untold numbers on here rooting for you.

    Premier Icon kelvin
    Full Member

    It is full understandable for every small to medium setback to feel major, and as if against you personally, when you’ve had such a tough time. We all feel for you… this year has been hard for people who were coasting… it must feel awful for someone starting from your position. You’re a good soul, and we’re all rooting for you and your kids.

    Premier Icon dcwhite1984
    Full Member

    Sometimes it does feel like life is against you, i don’t know you or your situation other than this thread, but i have been through my fair share of shite over the years and at times it does feel relentless.

    Covid and lockdown has hit a lot of people hard, i consider myself one of the lucky ones with work however fitness regime and diet has taken a considerable hit, i dont fit any of my trousers/shorts anymore and i need to address this before it gets any worse.

    Ultimately it comes down to choice, you can choose to not do anything or you can choose to do something.
    By this i mean, you can seek to get help, you can choose to exercise at home instead of the gym, life is all about choices.

    I say this out of personal experience, i wont go into loads of detail however i have had depression, anxiety and a thorough lacking of any motivation, ive been in the cycle of no energy, no motivation and the thoughts of everyone else around me being better off without me.

    I had a good group of friends and family around me but they got to the point where they couldn’t do or say anything as i was so negative, it wasnt until i decided i wasnt going to live like that that things started to change, i stopped drinking, i started just going for a walk once a day, i started eating a little healthier and little by little my outlook started to look a bit brighter.
    I set myself little goals, some of which were so small it seemed stupid, but one of my first goals was to get up out of bed and actually take a shower and eat breakfast, it seems tiny but this was a big hurdle for me it gave me a bit of purpose and set the day up ahead of me, i made a list of these and crossed them off as it felt like i was actually accomplishing something which is another big mental hurdle.

    I still have the odd day where i feel like curling up in a ball and shutting the world out, but i think thats fairly normal.

    i still set myself goals and i ask myself at the end of every day if i have done anything to help towards that goal, if i answer yes then great, if i answer no i ask myself what im going to do tomorrow to work towards it.

    Chin up, it does get better im living proof.

    Premier Icon joshvegas
    Free Member

    I propose a zoom call and all shout instructions at Gnusmas while he takes the washing machine apart to fix the bearing.

    Premier Icon ji
    Free Member

    If the bottom of the fridge is full of water, there is probably a blocvked drain hole somewhere inside, usually at the back towards the bottom. Stick something in there to unblock it.

    Premier Icon shooterman
    Free Member

    Yes Gnusmus I do. I often think of crap like a train. Rarely ever only one carriage so it usually arrives one thing after another.

    But there’s bugger all wrong with feeling mighty weary of it happening. Perfectly natural to tire of it sometimes but important to realise it will pass.

    Premier Icon gnusmas
    Full Member

    Thanks for the replies. The traumatic 3 months of hell (which is still ongoing) I was referring to wasn’t lockdown, this was something else completely. Not sure if I can go into more detail publicly about it. A couple of stwers know what’s happened as I’ve spoken to them about it personally.
    The washing machine, tumble dryer and fridge is another extra hassle again. While these breaking down is a pretty important factor to our daily needs, it is very minimal in comparison to what myself and the 3 kids have endured over the past few months.
    And everything has happened within lockdown which in itself has made things more difficult all round.

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