Viewing 37 posts - 1 through 37 (of 37 total)
  • Do Satnavs have an Arsehole Setting?
  • thegeneralist
    Free Member

    currently sat on on the M61 and noticing people coming off at junctions, down the sliproad, straight on at the roundabout and then back on the sliproad.

    Google Maps never suggests I do this, and indeed we never do. Is there a certain threshold of car value that has this option enabled by default, or is it the **** in the cars making this decision for themselves

    Thinking further on it, perhaps it’s automatically selected as a substitute option when people untick the Indicators option.

    Aidy
    Free Member

    Google maps has suggested I do this in the past

    tenfoot
    Full Member

    This seemed to be a default setting on my last car, a Mercedes A Class.

    I just ignored it.

    zomg
    Full Member

    I’ve seen Google maps suggest this too, fwiw. I also didn’t go for it, but I’ve been convinced since the advent of Waze that we need road pricing to help keep traffic on appropriate routes.

    drlex
    Free Member

    Does it also suggest taking 450 degree loops around roundabouts to avoid queuing on left turn lanes?

    Aidy
    Free Member

    Sometimes it’s not really clear that’s what it’s having you do either – if you’re just following it blindly, and don’t think to zoom out to see where it’s taking you after, you could assume it’s taking you on an alternative route.

    BigJohn
    Full Member

    I have a holder to stick mine to the windscreen or handlebars. I’m not sure how an arsehole setting would help.

    Flaperon
    Full Member

    Is there a certain threshold of car value that has this option enabled by default, or is it the **** in the cars making this decision for themselves

    I’m just going to hazard a guess here, but are you the person who straddles both lanes approaching a merge point to enforce your idea of fair queuing?

    People try the exit and rejoin technique a lot on the A1 at Darrington. I’ve watched out of idle curiosity and they frequently rejoin in about the same relative position, so there’s no benefit that I can see.

    doomanic
    Full Member

    I’ve often thought about doing it but despite owning not one, but two BMWs I’m not enough of a **** to actually do it.

    grahamt1980
    Full Member

    I have a holder to stick mine to the windscreen or handlebars. I’m not sure how an arsehole setting would help.

    Chapeau Sir

    revs1972
    Free Member

    I’m just going to hazard a guess here, but are you the person who straddles both lanes approaching a merge point to enforce your idea of fair queuing?

    Oh yes, the absolute pinnacle of assholery.

    dakuan
    Free Member

    using all the available capacity is in everyones interest

    crazy-legs
    Full Member

    I’m just going to hazard a guess here, but are you the person who straddles both lanes approaching a merge point to enforce your idea of fair queuing?

    If you ever want to see this taken to extremes, use the A64 heading east from Hopgrove Roundabout. It’s even evident on Google Streetview

    Two lanes for a while coming off the roundabout then it merges to one. Try and actually use the right hand lane and you’ll be jammed straight into the right hand barriers as everyone closes ranks. I’ve seen lorries straddle both lanes right from the exit of the roundabout to prevent overtaking and merging. For some reason, it’s worse there than anywhere else I’ve ever witnessed. All it needs is a Merge In Turn notice putting on it.

    dissonance
    Full Member

    Sometimes it’s not really clear that’s what it’s having you do either

    I just use mine in voice navigation mode so would assume alternate route. Only recall it happening once though and that was a bloody nightmare.

    The sliproad back on was closed due to an accident so a fun time getting back on.

    Thanks google.

    steveb
    Full Member

    Grits teeth and surpress rage at the BMW, Audi and general bankers who think they can stream to the front of the queue at A64 Hopgrove (east of York for non locals).

    Did that route everyday for several years, Monday to Thursday, about 17:40, no problems, can overtake lorries on that short DC and run back to single lane no problem. Add a good dose of tourist traffic heading the coast on fridays, and that’s 15 minutes of my life lost forever…

    Bank holiday weekend Friday….use any alternative route!

    squirrelking
    Free Member

    Google maps is stupid enough to encourage this. It flung me off the A38 onto sinlge track lanes to Felton only to rejoin a mile or so down the road yesterday. If I actually had a decent screen in the car I was driving I’d have realised it was taking one of its fits of stupidity.

    igm
    Full Member

    Grits teeth and surpress rage at the BMW, Audi and general bankers who think they can stream to the front of the queue at A64 Hopgrove (east of York for non locals).

    It used to be Balloon Tree, just shy of Stamford Bridge, Buttercrambe, Malton on a bank holiday.  These days bank holidays either mean out at crack of dawn or don’t use it until mid-afternoon.

    daviek
    Full Member

    The one in my last car (Seat Alhambra) used to do this at one junction and one only for some weird reason

    ratherbeintobago
    Full Member

    @zomg And modal filters on residential side streets, and a sensible speed limit (ie. not 60) on unclassified roads.

    steveb
    Full Member

    It used to be Balloon Tree, just shy of Stamford Bridge, Buttercrambe, Malton on a bank holiday.

    That’s ok, but takes me too far east.

    Don’t tell the tourists, but from Hopgrove, head round the northern ring road one section and North Lane back to the A64 avoids the bottleneck nicely, although the next few miles can be slow on a sunny weekend.

    thegeneralist
    Free Member

    I’m just going to hazard a guess here, but are you the person who straddles both lanes approaching a merge point to enforce your idea of fair queuing?

    How perspicacious of you. But no.  🙂

    I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re the type of person who drives onto a motorway straight into the middle lane and sits there for your whole journey, regardless and oblivious of everyone else?

    etc

    crazy-legs
    Full Member

    Don’t tell the tourists, but from Hopgrove, head round the northern ring road one section and North Lane back to the A64 avoids the bottleneck nicely, although the next few miles can be slow on a sunny weekend.

    That’s what I usually do – it’s a road I use to get to my sister’s so I know the area well.

    That said, when I drove over a couple of days ago, it was one of the quietest easiest journeys I’ve ever had! Spookily quiet.

    alpin
    Free Member

    All it needs is a Merge In Turn notice putting on it.

    Reißverschluss Prinzip in German…. The Zip Principle. Works well. Never had an incident of someone trying to block off the feeder lane.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    perspicacious

    Every day is a school day.

    Flaperon
    Full Member

    I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re the type of person who drives onto a motorway straight into the middle lane and sits there for your whole journey, regardless and oblivious of everyone else?

    Only after trundling down the slip road at 28 mph and then swerving across the HGVs in lane one. Sorry, the “slow lane”. I shall then vary my speed wildly, increasing it if I sense that someone is attempting to overtake me and slowing down again the moment they give up and pull back in.

    johnx2
    Free Member

    Twatnav👍

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    I’m convinced my old Garmin Sat Nav was sponsored by Visit England. No matter what settings were chosen it would take you on the most scenic route possible. If there was a country lane within 100 miles of your current location, you can bet your arse it would take you down it.

    Ambrose
    Full Member

    The first satnav I used sent me on a 45 mile route to get home. It’s an 18 mile journey usually.

    I followed it for the craic but the fun ended when I got to Neath.

    ThePinkster
    Full Member

    Both my old Garmin’s used to do this occasionally at one junction on the A50 in Stoke and one on the M6, somewhere just north of Manchester.

    No idea why but it tried it every time I drove past these junctions. Never had the same problem with Google Maps though.

    Poopscoop
    Full Member

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member
    perspicacious

    Every day is a school day.

    Yep, I’m going to attempt to use that every day for a few days to get it into my head.

    Today it will be during my trip to the co-op for bread. I’m not sure how I will inject it into a sentence but I’m going to try.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Excellent. Game on then when I head to town for some clothes shopping later.

    politecameraaction
    Free Member

    Today it will be during my trip to the co-op for bread. I’m not sure how I will inject it into a sentence but I’m going to try.

    “Do you have any deodorant for very perspicacious people?”

    thegeneralist
    Free Member

    “Do you have any deodorant for very perspicacious people?”

    Oh very good. In fact it’s almost as good as my favourite ever malapriapism.

    K
    Full Member

    I’ve noticed Google maps keeps trying trying to put me in the left lane for the last exit of larger roundabouts even when there is clear road markings and signage that the left is for the first exit only.

    garage-dweller
    Full Member

    I’ve noticed Google maps keeps trying trying to put me in the left lane for the last exit of larger roundabouts even when there is clear road markings and signage that the left is for the first exit only.

    Is this since the election date was announced?  I wonder if Google has detected a general mood that a number of people who previously wanted to go right are now expecting to turn to the left 🤔

    Cougar
    Full Member

    My arsehole has a satnav setting.  It keeps telling me to turn the other cheek.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    I have a holder to stick mine to the windscreen or handlebars. I’m not sure how an arsehole setting would help.

    Would be useful for a tandem stoker.

Viewing 37 posts - 1 through 37 (of 37 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.