did i overreact
whilst seeing my twelve year old daughter last saturday she tells me that she’ll doing a sponsored fast on sunday as suggested by the scipture union (SU) group at her school. I sugggested that this was a very silly idea citing importance of nutrition to the developing mind and not encouraging eating disorders in susceptible groups. Tried to reason with my ex, got nowhere, phoned school today to voice my concerns and the seemingly shocked and sympathetic vice head said she would deal with it. seems they dragged my daughter out of class and questioned her. now i’m the bad guy?Posted 9 years agoTandemJeremyMember
you might have a bit in contacting the school as there is a difference between fasting for a cause and fasting to get thin. The school may well have overreacted in taking her out of class tho.
The most important thing is not to let eating habits be an issue or she might use the threat of not eating to gain attention. Be wary of setting a precedentPosted 9 years agotygerMember
Fasting should always be something you choose to do – it should be personal. Away from the relgion side of things it’s actually quite good for you – kind of detox you body and brian at the same time, makes you focus. A lot of sports people do it before a big event.Posted 9 years ago
You can’t really knock what you’ve never tried.
Yes, you over-reacted, massively, in my opinion.
And you’ve made an insignificant part of her life into something really important, thus setting up far more trouble as far as young-impressionable-girls-and-their-relationship-to-food goes.
You’ve also set up the perfect your-mum-isn’t-doing-the-right-thing thing, and probably annoyed the staff at the school too.
I don’t know you, and I don’t know the complexities of your relationship with your daughter or your ex, but on the limited info you’ve given, you sound like you’ve over-reacted to me.Posted 9 years ago
OK, I’ll come clean, I despise all forms of organised religion,coming from an area of scotland where assumption are made based on your surname, and later living in holland where the bagwans (moonie like nutters)disciples,thought I was going to be their new recruit. I was extremely insulted at their presumtion of my gulliblity.Posted 9 years ago
Fella, as the husband of an ex-eating disorder wife, and the father of a 16 year old daughter, my advice regarding food and female children is DON’T **** ABOUT AT ALL. Just treat it like it’s not a subject for discussion, do not make it a battleground because you will fail, over and over again.
In this case, just leave it well alone; support your daughter, apologise to the ex, and learn a big lesson.Posted 9 years agotheboatmanMember
I only went with the 24 hours, as one of my daughters (also 12 at the time), did one of the SU ones last year, so thought they were all 24 hour ones. She seemed happy enough to do it as her mates were going it (she knew she didn’t have to), she told me some facts about the less fortunate around the world and seemed pretty happy with her new found information and was chuffed with herself for doing it. Within a week, it was all history, she has a lot on. She managed to avoid catching religion (she knows if you have to believe in something santa is better than God), and thus far a year down the line her eating habits remain exactly the same. Terrible dad me.Posted 9 years agochewkwMember
What’s the point of getting kids involve in something kids do not practice at home?
It’s not a big deal as Moslem children (12 & above) learn to fast at young age before Ramadan.
But the point is why fast when it is not one’s tradition? Just going to cause more trouble to many …
😯Posted 9 years agowwaswasSubscriber
“I despise all forms of organised religion”
why do parents always make their kids suffer by imposing their own world view on them.
this may sound harsh but;
1) you’ve asked your daughter to choose between you and your ex – why should she have to do that because you had a bad experience with religion in your life?
2) she’s been humiliated at school – her freinds will have seen her pulled out of class.
3) even if she now does the fast it won’t be an enjoyable experience.
so, in summary;
you overeacted when you ffirst found out and then compounded the problem by calling the school.
I agree with the above about scripture union – you’re better off trying to talk calmly with her/her mother about the reasons she does that.Posted 9 years agopsychleMember
Back in Oz we used to do the ’40hr Famine’ which was a fundraising event, wasn’t a full fast but all you were allowed to eat was Barley sugar lollies and water for 40hrs. Was a tough challenge for a kid 🙂 The idea behind it was obviously to help kids understand a little about what it’s like to be truly hungry, as so many people around the world are through no choice of their own…Posted 9 years agoMunqe-chickMember
I think nowadays fasting is so linked to eating disorders in young children that it is more difficult to do a “sponsored fast” like we did when we were kids. I think 12 is a bit young, especially as that’s a core age for developing eating disorders.So I don’t think you’ve over reacted no. Just my views.Posted 9 years agochakapingSubscriber
Is your objection to the actual fasting or to her involvement with this sinister sounding Scripture Union?
From your second post, it seems like the latter. I don’t blame you at all, I wouldn’t be happy either, but you’re best to try to reason with her on the issue than fly off the handle.Posted 9 years agofreeform5spotMember
TJ – whats fasting got to do with getting thin? It part of religious observance.
As for sponsoring a fasting – it just seems a bit dumb. Raising miney for charity in a school environment should be about fun not walking around feeling tired and grumpy (anyone with kids will know how the little ones temprement changes when hunger strikes!).
I bet the school governors would go nuts if they found out as you can be it is not sponsored by the senior leadership team.
I think its all a bit daft tbh.Posted 9 years agotinker-belleMember
OK, I’m happy to get grief for this, but I did a sponsored famine every year for World Vision when I was a kid (well from age 10 to 18), they did a 40 hour famine (normally 8pm Friday to noon on Sunday) You were allowed to have either a spoon of honey or a boiled sweet once an hour, and drink as much water as you wanted.
For me, it was a great experience, not only did it make me feel like I was doing something to help a greater cause (all money went to charities to feed starving kids in Africa) it also made me realise what those kids have to go through on a daily basis and how lucky I was, to not have to worry about where my next meal was coming from.
As for the SU thing, again it’s something I was involved in as a kid through my school, unless you’re extremely anti religious I can’t see why you would not want to expose your child to this, it will broaden her horizons, give her a taste of religion and if it’s a path she wishes to chose then let her do it, if not it’s a harmless life experience, which in my experience introduced me to a number of lovely people a lot of whom I am still in contact with.Posted 9 years agoshoefitiMember
Might of been over reating if you rushed over to the school, punched the head in the face and called them a pedophile, then put the story on the forum, waited until you got over 200 replies then claimed it was all for a paper you are doing at college – that’s why i’m not going to judge you for your actions.Posted 9 years agocoffeekingMember
Overreacted. It only becomes linked to eating disorders if someone makes it about that for them. 24 hours without food will do no harm at all physically, in fact there’s some evidence to show that animals thrive and live longer and healthier when they’re starved a certain percentage of the time (I think it was around 1 day in 10). If your kid was ill for a day and didnt want to eat you’d not get in a panic about whether it wasnt developing sufficiently due to the gap, or whether it thought this throwing up thing was a lark and a good way to lose weight…Posted 9 years agosolamandaMember
I’ve fasted yearly for religious reasons since the age of about 11/12. 25 hours no food or drink. If you exclude the religious element, it doesn’t half teach you some respect for those without the plentiful supply of food we enjoy in the west. I’m also pretty sure it is likely to make you eat ALOT more than eat less prior to the fast as you tend to overcompensate.Posted 9 years ago
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