Depression – Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please

Home Forum Chat Forum Depression – Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please

Viewing 45 posts - 136 through 180 (of 319 total)
  • Depression – Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please
  • Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    jackthedog – Member

    It has seemed wrong to me that (in the cases I speak of here) the solution offered by a doctor has always been a medicinal one

    Could well be. In my case, medication was offered as an option. Exercise was another, but changes in lifestyle were key. I suppose my circumstances dictated that a bit but for sure, good treatment doesn’t just mean throwing pills at the problem.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    I’m going through an odd patch with my meds at the minute. Been on Fluoxitine 40mg since last June. Getting some unbarable sweats in the night, terrible headaches and an almost constant feeling of sickness/fullness in my stomach over the last few weeks. Now on 4 tablets a day, and had my blood and urine taken yesterday. I’m in my 6th year of meds, some have been terrible. Also finished my second bout of counselling, so I’m on my own at the minute.

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    As with others – the drugs are like giving you painkillers for a sore knee. They won’t cure the problem but will make it easier for you to do the physio and get on with life without so much trouble. The physio is the cure, along with maybe a few tweaks to the way you treat yourself in the future.

    Cupra – following the analogy. when does a hurty knee become a problem? It might only ache a bit, but after a year or two of constant pain it’s enough to affect your life. Or it might be so painful you can barely move, and that’s bad enough for a few days. It might be painful because you’ve been walking badly for years, or you might have just come off your bike and smacked it into a rock. The cause doesn’t matter to you, it’s how it feels that’s important. Everyone gets a knock now and again, but you’d generally only get a diagnosis if it was affecting your day to day life. Same deal with the mind.

    grum
    Member

    May sound like an odd question but when does ‘feeling a bit down’ become depression?

    Tricky one really. I used to think I might have been depressed, but looking back after having been clinically depressed I realise I wasn’t really.

    This seems a reasonable summary:

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx

    cupra
    Member

    Thanks grum. I think it is time to contact the gp. Not a severe case but definitely have quite a few symptoms listed there and have done so on and off for 8 years now.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    I think that is a very general summary, which in fairness is correct. For me, my core problem is how I treat myself. How I view myself to myself, in the eyes of others, and the expectations I have of myself. The comparison of my day to day life are always compared to this, thus leading to the low mood, low self asteem etc etc. It’s learning to manage and deal with that, that is the goal for me. So, I have become depressed because of this.

    cupra
    Member

    st colin – that is spot on for me.

    jackthedog
    Member

    the drugs are like giving you painkillers for a sore knee. They won’t cure the problem but will make it easier for you to do the physio and get on with life without so much trouble. The physio is the cure, along with maybe a few tweaks to the way you treat yourself in the future.

    This is a nice explanation, thank you.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    cupra, if you want any advice, get in touch if you like.

    Premier Icon phil40
    Subscriber

    Hi,

    I went through about 5 different drugs and needed to be referred before I found one that seemed to work for me, and didn’t come with big side effects. So if one doesn’t work there are others that might (sorry if this has already been said). Also CBT can be effective but according to my therapist it depends on your personality and thinking style. I am currently working with a person at the same time/ place every week on psycho dynamic therapy and it seems to be helping.

    Once again sorry if this has already been mentioned, but I saw the thread and thought I could contribute.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    CBT didn’t work for me, it went against my usual train of thought It was very difficult to stay focused on it. I guess that was the aim of it, but it was early stages for me then and I was in a great deal of denial.

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    Thepurist- excellent post, cheers.

    cupra
    Member

    Well was at the GP this morning and I’m not sure what I was expecting but that wasn’t it. Don’t feel any further forward. In fact I feel more on my own than when I went in. I actually find riding my bike depressing these days, it used to be my escape….

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    So what happened cupra?

    freddyg
    Member

    Go and see a different GP. I had a similar experience (I posted about it on here). The second GP I saw was like chalk and cheese.

    cupra
    Member

    Gave me a business card with a web address on it and told me to have a look at it and come back in 6 weeks. He did mention some other options when I pushed him but is not prepared to do anything yet. If I feel worse in the interim, feel free to come back. I was worried that I wouldn’t articulate it well so had typed and printed out a sheet with my issues. This has been filed.

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    I’m with freddyg – any clues what the web address was all about? Online cbt, information or ???

    I wouldn’t be in a rush to hit the pills, but some other support sounds like it’d be useful.

    @Cupra – get another Doctor. Medics are just like any other walk of life you will encounter people who help and people who “do their job”. Make another appointment and ask for another Doctor. Good luck.

    Tom B
    Member

    As above cupra, get another appointment with a different doctor.

    Update from me…..after a very grim weekend, I feel a bit better today…I actually enjoyed work for about half an hour too! Touch wood nothing too major with the side effects of my medication-sleep isn’t great though.

    Good luck cupra.

    Ed2001
    Member

    I want to thank everyone for contributing to this thread so many of the comments reflect my circumstances. Admitting I wasn’t coping was,and still is ,very hard but realising that I am not the only one does help. I feel lucky that my Doctor has been very helpful referring me for some talking therapy and prescribing me some antidepressants ( mirtazapine ) which I have been on for 2 weeks and I do feel that they are helping although I have struggled with some of the side effects.

    xcgb
    Member

    Great to see that people are still finding this thread helpful.

    Myself? I was feeling great then a stupid row with my wife has made me feel like i’ve gone backwards overnight.

    I suppose this is to be expected? (i’m 2 months into my treatment)

    Tom B
    Member

    I don’t feel great today myself-last night was myworst nights sleep since starting my meds though, so I’m thinking that that is the cause.

    xcgb
    Member

    Mate I know where you are

    I had problems with that too but stick with it, it does get better honest!

    stanfree
    Member

    Just been at the docs and he recommended looking CBT for dummies , typed CBT into a well known torrent site to see if there was an E book available but not sure the results I got would help with my state of mind. 😀 😳

    Tom B
    Member

    How is everyone getting on? Break through for me today….I slept reasonably well, and am loving work thus far!

    xcgb
    Member

    Tom

    Glad to hear its getting easier

    I’m pretty good overall although I have just had what i describe as a blip, after a row with the missus i felt it all coming back for a day or two, it has passed now though. it is apparently to be expected though.

    My sleep is loads better i still wake early but am getting 7 hours, which really helps.

    For me antidepressants weren’t a great help. The problems remained and I still felt bad, it just numbed the pain and I stopped caring.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    Loving work would be a stretch….

    My bloods came back normal, so that was a relief.

    Hoping I can get out on the bike a lot this weekend, that always does wonders in the short term for me.

    cupra
    Member

    Hoping I can get out on the bike a lot this weekend, that always does wonders in the short term for me.

    I now find it quite depressing. Running is now my release.

    Premier Icon cinnamon_girl
    Subscriber

    My bloods came back normal, so that was a relief.

    Might be an idea to ask for a copy and see what exactly was tested. You’re entitled to ask for this.

    dan1980
    Member

    I’ve read through most of this thread, and thought I’d share my experience (other experiences are available etc…) I don’t know if it’ll help any folk out there:

    I’ve always had low self esteem/self worth issues. At a difficult time in my work life, I added health problems to my general mix of issues and where as before I’d be able to go for a blast on the bike or do a bit of climbing to pick up my mood, it started to become harder until a point where I lost motivation to go out and do things.

    This moved on to loosing motivation to go out at all, even to work, and then onto not being bothered to eat. I wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t going to work or leaving the house and wasn’t looking after myself and started to think that there wasn’t really much point in me being alive and that my friends and family would be better off without me, and thoughts of killing myself became pretty much a constant presence in my mind.

    When I eventually told her how I was feeling (Emotionally the hardest thing I’ve done in my life to date), my girlfriend at the time didn’t know what to do, as like a lot of people, didn’t see depression as an illness and just assumed I needed to stop being a miserable git and get on with things. She did however drag me to the GP who I have to say was bloody brilliant with me.

    I was reffered to the “crisis” centre at the local mental health unit who had nurses at my home the same afternoon. I was put on some antidepressants (Which I can’t remember the name of). These initially made me feel really anxious and apparently I got quite agitated and aggressive. I don’t really remember much of those 4 weeks, apart from the nurses coming regularly to support my girlfriend and just sit for a while as I didn’t want to talk to them and folk telling me that things would get better, and that I needed to keep taking medication.

    After 4 weeks the GP decided to change the meds to Citalopram as I wasn’t going well with the first lot, and again, I was still snappy and nervous. I couldn’t sleep and was really a mess emotionally. I was only on those for 2 weeks before the GP tried something else (Lofepramine). This was for me the lowest point as all the promises of “Things will get better” seemed hollow, that I was beyond help etc. I pretty much only left my bed to use the toilet. Thankfully the new drugs started to have more positive effect on me within about 2-3 weeks (the anxiety and aggression pretty much stopped as soon as I stopped the Citalopram).

    Apart from some horrendous acid reflux, and sweating like a fat man in a cake shop, the meds didn’t really have any negative side effects and were having a positive impact on the way I was thinking and feeling.

    I wouldn’t say they made me happy, or indeed actually positive, they left me feeling kind of flat. Looking back now, it wasn’t a “nice” feeling, but it was a hell of an improvement on how I had been feeling.

    It gave me a crutch to start to rebuild my life, getting outside, doing things and actually start living again. From being a total recluse to (admittedly being forced to) go and meet some friends at a crag (even if I only took pictures rather than climbed) took 6ish weeks. Interestingly looking back at the photos I took, they’re all fairly dark/sombre pictures. I was voluntarily going out on my bike within 10. I had weekly meetings with the mental health unit for the best part of 6 months. I was on the full dose of meds for 12 months, during which time my mood improved and I was (apart from the excessive sweating) back to my normal self. It took about 3 months of lowering the dose before the GP said I’d finished with them. I’d been doing bits of CBT and doing lots of exercise and carried on with that once I was off the pills.

    6 months after that my girlfriend decided that my 30th birthday was the ideal time to break up with me. Things started to head south again, but because I was aware of the signs from the first time, I went to the GP before things got to bad and started on the pills again. 4 months after that I accidentally went cold turkey due to forgetting to take them on holiday with me and that was 3 years ago. I’ve not taken anti-depressants since.

    I still think of myself as still having “depression” or at least a predisposition to “depressive episodes” but I know the warning signs that are personal to me, and know do stuff to try and make sure the spiral down doesn’t start again.

    I only told a very small number of my friends what was going on, mostly out of embarrassment at not being able to cope with “life”, and that was really hard to do. But them knowing means that when they see the signs, or when I see them and know I need to get help, I have support and understanding, and people I can go to.

    When I was bad I didn’t believe it, but in reality, things do get better, it’s not easy by any means, and unlike a broken leg it’s hard to see that you’re ill externally so often people who don’t really understand don’t treat you as they really should.

    If you are feeling down for a prolonged period, go see a GP, talk to people close around you, or post random stuff here. Support is out there, and there are people who understand and are willing to help.

    Tom B
    Member

    Interesting read Dan-I don’t think that I’ve sunk quite as low as you, but the whole downward spiral of not getting out, not caring is depressingly (pun intended) familiar.

    Just got a call from some lovely sounding woman and I’ve got an appointment with a mental health nurse in just under two weeks.

    xcgb
    Member

    Great post Dan glad to hear you are feeling better

    The embarrassment /shame we feel about depression is one of the major reasons why I started this thread

    nickhart
    Member

    I have to start this response with: binners, stop talking utter rubbish.
    At the time your article came out I was having counselling for work and post cancer related stress. I’ve been depressed before and have recognised the lowest of the lows but like others have said I’ve never recognised the triggers or how I get out of the depths.
    Though I wasn’t depressed at the time the article came out, I was stressed, I could clearly define the difference and I knew why but I couldn’t begin to understand how I got out of it. The counselling worked wonders for me, as did getting a new job and handing the notice in on the last one and riding and finding a bit of fitness helped too. But to find your article and read it (at a kids disco party, yes crying at one isn’t the usual but hey it was a bloody good article) was another tonic. It was a we are not alone in our fears, our perceived weaknesses or our worries. Your article reminded me of riding with mates, of riding alone and the post ride glow. It reminded me of how much my mind and body are inextricably linked and they both need physical exertion (more than just getting out of bed).
    The long and the short of it is that your article helped me, along with other factors, get my head straight. So Mr Binners, thank you.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    Sorry for dragging this one up again….

    Having a really horrible day today. My ‘mood’ starting taking a dive over the weekend. I didn’t get out on the bike or do any physical activity. There’s so many things going on in my head I just can’t make sense of them, sort them out in order and deal with them. I just feel overwhelmed by just being alive, dealing with absolutely every little thing. The drive t work, the shower this morning, my first contact with someone in work, it’s just all a huge anvil on me. I’m frightened to take action, fight it, or call someone, or whatever. Posting here seems the easiest option as nobody knows me really.

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    St Colin – first off, don’t panic. IME things ebb and flow, you get good times and bad times. The bad times will pass. Go easy on yourself, maybe call your GP or (if you’ve got them) some other supporter/helper. Try to nip out for a ride tonight, doesn’t have to be a biggy, just 10 mins, or just do something else that you might enjoy, don’t go looking for the ultimate buzz. Or just keep posting on here.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    Thanks. When I feel like this, I often look for answers. I’ll scour the web looking at threads on forums, or think to myself what I should actually do.

    I feel very lathargic today and have done since the end of last week. My eating has been random, and mostly full of sugar – comfort eating I guess. Today though, I haven’t eaten yet. I have the belief that I actually have a pot/beer belly and I hate it, so I go through periods of not eating to see that if in some weird way, it’ll disappear. For the record, I’m just over 6ft and 12st 8lb. Any body fat I have has made its way to my belly. I’m always conscious of it. I sleep with a t-shirt on no matter how warm it is. I’ll wear two layers on my upper body when I go out becuase I don’t want people to see any detail.

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    Been there St Colin – days when it feels like my batteries have been put in the wrong way round – all seems normal on the outside but inside nothings working, all there is is noise and static and no energy to do anything. Days when you just give in and wait for tomorrow, hoping that somehow it will be better. I know that I need to do something, anything, break out of that but can’t find the energy/belief to actually do it. It’s hateful and I feel for you, but I’m sure that deep down we both know that just starting small, doing little things, engaging with stuff, allowing ourselves to feel a tiny glimmer of satisfaction even though we shut the rest of it out, all helps on the way out.

    You sound as fat as me, but I still weigh myself every morning and beat myself up if I’ve gone up a pound. I kick myself by saying that if I was motivated enough to train more/work harder then I’d be stronger, fitter, faster, lighter, better than I am. But still don’t have the motivation to train as a result.

    Do you have anyone else helping you – CBT/counselling or anything like that. For me it’s like steering a supertanker by sticking an oar over the side, but I’m starting to notice some effects, hopefully you will too.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    I finished my second spell of counselling a few weeks back. I also went through a basic CBT course a few years back. I don’t feel any different other than understanding my problem better.

    xiphon
    Member

    Been an interesting read this thread.

    The comment on AD being “pain killers” for a sore knee is by far the best analogy I have read in a long time, and I entirely agree with it. It does not help the cause of the depression, which many seem to ignore. Staying on AD for most of their life seems to be the norm. My wife’s grandfather has been on them since the 1950s!

    Apparently I suffer from depression, or rather “episodes of depression” too. I was eventually convinced to go visit the GP by my then girlfriend (now wife..)

    For me, the event of getting prescribed AD was the trigger for the “upward spiral” – I did not ingest one single magic pill – but psychologically it worked.

    Perhaps it was the “shame” of relying on AD pills to function on a daily basis (I say “shame” as this thread is about the taboo subject of depression), or perhaps it was the self-realisation that I had to sort myself out.

    Either way, it worked (for me), and I’m now quite a different (much more positive and active) person than before the prescription.

    My wife on the other hand is very reliant on AD….. though I’d say more of a psychological dependency than chemical need (like if I forget my inhaler when riding/driving/going out, it can trigger a panic induced asthma attack….).

    When we met she had quite severe bulimia but I helped her get through that without the use of magic pills (and she’s been cold-turkey with that for 4 years now 😀 ).

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    St Colin – how about booking in with your GP then? That’s one tiny step, but better than being alone with it. Fwiw I’ve done 2.5yrs of counselling and am in the middle of some cbt. I understand myself so well these days, but like you that doesn’t always help. For me I know there’s no miracle cure, just a lot of small things that slowly help turn me around. If that’s anything like you, just pick an easy one and see where it leads.

    St Colin have you ever heard of body dysmorphic disorder?

    I just wondered because some of what you describe sounds quite similar. The symptoms tend to be focused on fixations about particular features, or aspects of appearance, self consciousness, taking measures to try and hide or get rid of the offending body part/s or flaws, feeling distress about said offending body part/s or perceived flaws, and the resulting preoccupation leading to social anxiety, depression, etc. I recognised some of that in the post you made about how you feel about your body shape and the lengths you go to to cover it up. I suffered from it myself, and would do the same, my stomach was one of the areas that bothered me, I still have issues wearing anything fitted or clingy, although I am much better than I was a few years ago.

    People often think this is something that affects only teenage girls and young women, but increasingly, men are suffering from it too.

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    Yea, I’ve felt like that about every part of my body since I can remember. I hate it when it’s warm and sunny, because then it becomes uncomfortable to hide. I have learnt to deal with my legs which I hate. I wear 3/4 riding bottoms, or knee pads if I wear the shorts I want as I really hate my knees. I shudder at the thought of ever ending up on a sunshine holiday.

    Premier Icon thepurist
    Subscriber

    Hey st Colin – just seeing how you’re doing.

    There are some good resources on Body Dysmorphic Disorder via the MIND website, might be worth a read – there are also some online self diagnostic tools you can use – obviously not a medical diagnosis, but an indication that you might be able to go to your GP with. I’m at work at the mo, so can’t post any links, but could do when I get home.

Viewing 45 posts - 136 through 180 (of 319 total)

The topic ‘Depression – Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please’ is closed to new replies.