Depression – Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please

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  • Depression – Why dont we talk about it?/ your experiences please
  • camo16
    Member

    Me. Haven’t dealt with it all that well, to be honest, but that’s probably my fault since I can’t seem to talk about it or explain it adequately to others. Sometimes, it just lifts but I can’t exactly say why.

    Hope whatever you do sorts it out though.

    xcgb
    Member

    Camo have you seen your GP?

    I have been on SSSI meds for 4 weeks now and they are really starting to help after making me worse for a while

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Me. I’ve been there.

    I wrote an article on it, and how my bikes and friends (among other things) helped me through it. The daft sods at Singletrack actually published it in the mag

    There have been regular threads on the subject over the years. You’re amongst many, so don’t feel alone in it.

    camo16
    Member

    Nah, it’s okay at the moment and I haven’t gone regularly in the past.

    The meds did work though, although there’s some downhill with the uphill. On that herbal front St Johns Wort was surprisingly effective for a while.

    Best wishes to you. Depression is shite. But, as you say, it’s also fairly common.

    EDIT: what issue is your article in Binners? Might give it a read…

    project
    Member

    Why is it such a taboo to talk about it, as people (including me) seem reluctant and ashamed

    Because people either think youre just a moaner or havent got time to listen or want to listen.

    Then from your side you need to find someone to trust and more importantly listen to you and possibly help.

    Find a cure for depression and your a multi millioaire overnight.

    clubber
    Member

    People don’t talk about it because it’s the core parts of you and your personality that get affected rather than just something physical. If your back hurts you’re still the same person. If you’re depressed you’re sort of not even if it’s temporary. Also because many sufferers have no rational reason to be ‘depressed’ so they don’t want to be seen to be moaning.

    My mum got depressed a couple of years ago. She’s always been a stresser but never remotely depressed and in her own words, comparatively has nothing to be depressed about – good life, happy family, etc. A few things happened (nothing too serious but all at the same time) and things just spirralled into depression.

    She found it really hard as she could tell that she wasn’t being rational about things but couldn’t help herself. The CBT helped a bit with coping strategies. She really didn’t want to take any drugs (she’s been massively opposed to taking any kind of medication for years) but ultimately did take anti-depressants at a fairly low dose and it gave her the room get get herself back to normal – a large part of it being that she could actually get some sleep.

    She stopped taking the ADs soon after that and has been fine since.

    It’s amazingly common.

    xcgb
    Member

    Clubber Your Mums experience is a mirror of mine! I have just started some CBT too

    clubber
    Member

    And millions of others.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    I think it’s not talked about because when you’re depressed, you don’t feel like talking about much, esp not yourself. And when you’re up again, you don’t want to think about how depressed you were.

    Simplistically put, I suppose.

    chewkw
    Member

    I don’t know about others but some of my colleagues have depression or bipolar …

    1. They don’t talk about it because they think others might view them as freaks.

    2. Others don’t want to talk to them about it because they think that they might make the condition worst off leading to suicidal thoughts or simply jump off the building.

    3. Others just don’t want to be bothered to listen to those with depression because they have their own difficulties in life.

    There you go and if you are prescribed medication take it and try not to miss the dosage. It will strike when you least expected.

    πŸ™‚

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Camo – just had a quick look and its issue 60 apparently. Remember that it was written by me though. So its basically drivel! πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    Currently about to end my second spell of counselling. Was ‘diagnosed’ about 6 years ago. I don’ talk about it much outside my close family and one or two friends. I still believe most people think it’s an excuse for being lazy and not bothered about making an effort.

    However, I can’t begin to describe some of the emotions/feelings that I’ve gone through. There is a lot of help available, however finding what works for you is difficult. You really need to want to help yourself before you can be helped.

    clubber
    Member

    molgrips – Member
    I think it’s not talked about because when you’re depressed, you don’t feel like talking about much, esp not yourself

    Not always. That was one of the things that happened with my Mum – she couldn’t stop talking about her depression. That was part of the problem as that was all she was ever thinking about and it just became a negative spiral.

    She is a complete chatterbox mind so that might not be that common πŸ˜†

    Premier Icon bigblackshed
    Subscriber

    Me. Goes in cycles. Have used meds in the past when it got too much.

    Reason no one talks about it is IMO, people don’t want to appear weak and unable to cope, others don’t really want to know, fear of being judged. When I was told to “pull myself together” and lately MTFU, it just showed me how uneducated or prejudice people are about it.

    camo16
    Member

    Remember that it was written by me though. So its basically drivel!

    Not in sales then, Binners?

    * goes to take a look through Issue 60 and intends to be impressed *

    I can’t begin to describe some of the emotions/feelings that I’ve gone through.

    This.

    At its worst, the emotion is indescribable. Lucky for me, I suppose, is that it passes.

    clubber
    Member

    I used the analogy for my mum that you wouldn’t tell someone with an infection to MTFU (well, people on here probably would πŸ˜‰ ), you’d treat it.

    grum
    Member

    I think it’s not talked about because there is still some stigma attached and unless you’ve suffered it you don’t really ‘get it’. Some people still don’t think of it as a ‘proper’ illness and that you just need to ‘pull your socks up’.

    I had a nasty bout of it a few years ago when I became really ill with CFS, still have some bleak periods but its mostly under control now (I’m taking St Johns Wort at the mo).

    noteeth
    Member

    I can’t begin to describe some of the emotions/feelings that I’ve gone through.

    IME, whatever “The Void” is, it’s that.

    Milkie
    Member

    About 5 years ago the Doctor diagnosed me with Depression, it was a big shock. That’s when the doctor suggested I get back on the bike to help with anxiety, which really helped.

    I told my friends and they really helped. I thought I was the only one, it transpired that half of my close friends had gone through the same thing. I was on the AD’s for a year and they helped, even if they did **** with my head at the start, so I took them before bed and had no probs.

    I didn’t think seeing a shrink would help, but it did.

    It was only a year ago that I realised how depressed I was and that it had been going on for over 5 years.

    I don’t think I have been in such a good place for nearly 10 years, you may not think there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but with some help and patience you’ll see it. πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon Richie_B
    Subscriber

    I don’t talk about it because the thought of going back there terrifies me. Got through it with the help of some very good friends with a great deal of patience who I have never thanked enough.

    xcgb
    Member

    Cheers guys

    I am so much better than 1 week ago + I am determined to do whatever I can to help myself make it never happen again.

    i have found out by a chance conversation that my best friends wife is suffering from the same – I had no idea,

    for me its the fact that everyone thinks your fine, that makes it really hard as it just feels so damm lonely sometimes, but maybe thats just a bit of self pity coming through

    shermer75
    Member

    You don’t talk it because you’re **** depressed, you eejit!! Haha. I’ll be lucky if I talk to anyone about anything when I’m on a proper one. Winston Churchill called it ‘the black dog’, as in ‘the black dog is on me again’, I always liked that..

    camo16
    Member

    it just feels so damm lonely sometimes, but maybe thats just a bit of self pity coming through

    No, that’s not self pity. Depression IME is damn lonely, especially if you don’t want to bum out your loved ones and friends with continual “I’m feeling rubbish” talk.

    Remember, it’s probably not permanent and there are better times ahead. But if I can offer you one bit of advice it would be this – don’t push yourself too hard to ‘get better fast’… because that’s counterproductive.

    freddyg
    Member

    bigblackshed – Member
    ….I was told to “pull myself together” and lately MTFU, it just showed me how uneducated or prejudice people are about it.

    When I finally summoned up the courage to go and see a GP about mine, this was his reaction – he is an ‘old school’ country doctor more used to dealing with farmers. If you haven’t got an arm hanging off, there’s nowt wrong with you.

    This really didn’t help!

    I went back a few months later and saw a different (female) doctor. She was brilliant. Signed me off straight away (initially, this didn’t help as I then suffered with all sorts of anxiety (guilt) at not working) and prescribed me Citalopram. After 4 to 6 weeks, I started to notice a difference. I experienced real clarity of thought for the first time in almost 40 years. I was on Citalopram for about a year.

    I’ve recently started a downward spiral again and need to get my ass back to see her. The usual guilt and internal MTFU-O-matic is preventing me though.

    EDIT:

    it just feels so damm lonely sometimes

    Hell yes 😐

    Premier Icon cr500dom
    Subscriber

    I suffer with it sometimes, Self diagnosed, but I recognise when its coming on and try to avoid to much confrontation and stress.
    Can find myself out walking the dog and just bursting into tears which is rather strange, although somehow cathartic :o/
    I have all the right ingredients for a Happy life, and yet often find myself “Not in a Happy place” and wanting to just run away.
    But having given in to that in the past it doessnt work, because the problem is internal not external and you just take it with you.
    So I do stay now, I stay close to people, and I have some very good freinds that I can talk to when needed.
    Its not great but it works and I`m not a fan of medication.

    xcgb
    Member

    Camo
    Thanks some good advice there – noted.

    xcgb
    Member

    Its not great but it works and I`m not a fan of medication.

    Me neither I sat and looked at the pills I had been given and thought how has it come to this. I am glad i persevered now as i am getting so much better and the phrase clarity of thought is so true

    I recommend seeing a GP, meds have come on a lot since valium and the like

    Premier Icon st colin
    Subscriber

    On the medication side, I still think it’s largely placebo. I have found that being proactive with myself helps much more. Hard to explain, but going for a ride, or doing something you know you enjoy, gives instant results. However, this wasn’t always the case. I’d go for a ride, enjoy it at the time and then on the drive home have a massive downer. I’d analyse everything about the ride and be really hard on myself about it and literally fall into a massive rut of self hatred. I’m getting better at coping now, and part of that process was to not compete this year and concentrate more on just riding for the fun of it.

    I don’t talk about it because I am not depressed.

    xcgb
    Member

    Having recently been diagnosed with depression, I am always being told just how common it is.

    Why is it such a taboo to talk about it, as people (including me) seem reluctant and ashamed

    I am trying to get some understanding of my condition as I hope it will help my recovery, I wouldn’t have had any Idea what it was until i started reading about it so I guess many others are the same

    How many on here have suffered, and how did you deal with it?

    Thanks

    TuckerUK
    Member

    xcgb, you’ll find the topic comes up on here fairly regularly.

    I didn’t deal with it.

    My latest partner (having a father who had experienced a nervous breakdown) realised something was seriously wrong and gave me an ultimatum. That and the realisation that almost certainly I had been a life-long sufferer of bipolar disorder thanks to Stephen Fry’s excellent programmes.

    Saw local very understanding and sympathetic GP, diagnosed with serious bipolar disorder, GP offered to section me, which I declined. Immediately put on medication to reduce the severity of the mood swings.

    Since moving to Norfolk (chance of pace etc.) had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (emotionally hard work first, but probably the treatment that has helped me the most), and went on several courses (e.g. managing bipolar disorder, improving self confidence).

    Would be fair to say I’m now a new man. I kind of feel like I’m a late emerging butterfly!

    Do I still get depressed? Sure. I just cope with it far better, as does my partner.

    Premier Icon cu dubh
    Subscriber

    Yet another one who has been there. For me the solution was anti-depressants and CBT. That worked for me, different solutions work for different people but stick with it and you will get better. Maybe not tomorrow or the day after but with patience, not always easy, you will improve. Take pleasure from the incremental gains. Don’t expect to wake up one morning suddenly full of the joys of life just keep plugging away. For a long time I was ashamed and wouldn’t talk about my depression other than to my wife. Now, I don’t ram it down people’s throats but if they have a problem and judge me that’s their problem.

    dashed
    Member

    We don’t talk about it much because there is still a stigma attached to it. Break your leg and people can see something physical and tangible – people can relate to it, even if they’ve not actually broken a leg themselves. Depression is largely invisible and hard for people to understand unless they’ve suffered themselves.

    If your back hurts you’re still the same person. If you’re depressed you’re sort of not even if it’s temporary.

    Couldn’t agree more!

    I went through a spell a couple of years ago – fairly minor compared to some people, but I was a very different person for a while. It ultimately brought an end to a very good relationship (which in turn made things worse for a bit).

    Mine was entirely driven by crap circumstances in my life. I was previously the sort of person to say something stupid like “pull yourself together and get yourself out for a ride – you’ll feel much better”. I had no idea what depression was or what it felt like.

    CBT really helped me to understand what was going on and give me coping mechanisms to deal with it.

    Me. Had it ‘mild’ by comparison to others, but was still on meds and a course of CBT for a while. Triggered by the end of a 22year relationship/marriage and emerging from divorce proceedings with essentially nothing. Life as I knew it ended, and I had a daunting blank-page in front of me which I had *convinced* myself I was looking forward to. The power of positive thought, and all that. Turns out I had to admit defeat and go see a GP.

    Think of it as an injury, and, for most, meds are the painkillers, while counselling is the Physio. Personally I didn’t enjoy the meds (made me so tired I had to go home at lunchtimes for a sleep!) and neither they nor the CBT seemed to be helping after sixteen weeks so weened myself off. Think ‘time’ is/was the best healer for me. I’m in a much better place now, as they say.

    I learned a couple of weeks ago that an old Uni friend of mine recently went through a divorce, emerged penniless, lost access to his kids and split up with his girlfriend.

    His funeral was last week.

    It’s so important to talk. So important.

    TuckerUK
    Member

    As for medication, I was never a great fan, being of the ‘stiff upper lip’ ‘grin and bear it’ ‘don’t make a fuss’ ilk.

    However, the medication I’m on does work, I daren’t stop taking it as I feel feel very ill just missing a morning’s/night’s tablets.

    As with most bipolar sufferers, until a genetic cure is found, I’ve resigned myself to taking the medication until death. Which is nice, I never have to worry about how long I’ll on tablets for!

    badllama
    Member

    Well I live with it but it’s not me it’s my other half she’s been through 2 lots of Counseling and been perscribed last week tablets for the second time (1st time she did not take them) started taking them and she fell very ill within 24 hours and now has stopped taking them.

    For her yoga really helps and exercise, for me getting the **** out of the house on a Sunday and on the bike keeps me sane with coping with her.

    I’m sure it’s not good for you who have had it or still have it, BUT for your other half’s (and for me) it’s a nightmare coping with someone with it.

    birky
    Member

    Mild depression and low self esteem/lack of confidence here. Originally diagnosed back in ’97 and put on SSRIs which I didn’t give long enough before deciding they weren’t working and quit without consulting the doc πŸ™„
    Then about 10 years ago my GP referred me for counseling for social anxiety disorder. There was about a 6 month wait for an appointment which given the condition was plenty time for my imagination to run riot and I cancelled with about 2 weeks to go πŸ™„

    Almost reached the point where I’ve got enough courage to go back to the doc again cos I can’t carry on like this tbh.

    xcgb
    Member

    Birky

    Go to the docs and stick with the meds is my advice. I found this helpful, its long but well written (not by a doctor but a sufferer) but it was accurate and honest.

    http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=46980

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