Depression comes up regularly enough on here so I thought I would share this here:

http://bit.ly/ridingthroughthedarkness

Bookmarked! Thanks👍

Great read Euan. Thanks for posting 🙂

I enjoyed that thanks. Very honest and well written.

Book marking also, I have been having problems with anxiety as of recent and that’s stopped me from riding or getting on a bike for quite some time. I tore my ACL in December so haven’t ridden since mid December anyway. I can relate to having no motivation to ride but my anxiety is the reason behind it and am more worried about something happening to me.

Book marking also, I have been having problems with anxiety as of recent and that’s stopped me from riding or getting on a bike for quite some time. I tore my ACL in December so haven’t ridden since mid December anyway. I can relate to having no motivation to ride but my anxiety is the reason behind it and am more worried about something happening to me.

…and yet riding can help so much with things like anxiety. Paradox! It’s an easy trap to fall into and certainly one that I’ve been guilty of on more than one occasion: feel anxious or down, so you do less stuff, which in turn makes you feel even more anxious and down so you do even less stuff and so on. The good news is that you can break the cycle (pun) at any time by just getting on your bike and going for a ride!! 🙂

Shermer, I’ll send you a message if that’s okay?

Thanks for sharing that Euan. A good read. And it’s a brave thing to do to show your wrists.

I wrote a piece a few years back about my own struggle with depression, and how riding helped me

My Prozac

to all of you out there battling depression and anxiety – and i’ve presently got issues again for the first time in s long time – you’re not alone, and this place is a great place for help and support

A good piece that, and something I can really relate to.

That feeling of something so seemingly joyful to your friends giving you no joy is one I feel an awful lot. I’ve been sat against a tree in all my riding gear welling up, overwhelmed, about everything but nothing, while my mates are wooping and laughing and pushing up for another run.

Makes no sense 🙁

The biggest discovery I made was just how many folks are affected 🙁

Also a source of comfort in there are lots of us to support each other 🙂

Riding more has definitely helped me over the last ~14 months, but I can still be overcome by the anxiety of local “city traffic” and/or the threat of prolonged rainfall, plus some days (like yesterday) can be a write-off due to extreme tiredness that makes everything feel impossible.

Thanks for sharing .

The biggest discovery I made was just how many folks are affected 🙁

+1

Shermer, I’ll send you a message if that’s okay?

Of course!!! 🙂

I’ll have a read of that later when can summon up the energy, not in a great place either at the moment

It’s getting to me too just now , although probably more a lack of riding on recent weeks rather than much else. I feel like it’s a mentally battle to get out though and doubt the benefit it will bring. I can relate to this too

The truth is that for months and months it caused more harm than good. I would feel worse for days after a ride, rather than better.

Especially after bigger days – the reality is that for that time in out, I’d rather be nowhere else. Afterwards,  the combined guilt (of having a young daughter who i love to bits and is great fun to be with) and longing to be back on the bike (or climbing, or just outdoors / not in the office) is mentally destructive.

Just need to appreciate both the time I do get out and with the family and separate them out.

That’s a good read thanks. I’ve not been diagnosed with clinical depression, haven’t even sought help, but I generally do feel down at the moment. Maybe the prolonged overcast spell of weather we’ve been having has contributed but, I have undergone quite some major life changes over the past few months and am trying to adjust.

What’s annoying me at the moment is the fact we’ve had so much rain, although we have needed it without a doubt.

It shouldn’t annoy me because that’s what weather does. It’s not something we can control so I should just roll with it. To some extent I can but not as much as I have in the past.

I have two bikes; a road bike and an MTB, and I love riding MTB to get away from the noise of cars and the smell of diesel fumes which, for some reason, I find worse in the winter. However, the bridleways are so churned up that they’re almost impossible to ride without walking in some cases. I can’t get enough pace up to really increase my heart rate, to a point where, once I’ve returned to the house, I feel that I’ve had a really good work out.

Also the mud is costing me too. I’ll have to replace the rear cassette, the chain and the front chainring and, whilst trying to avoid the worst of the mud, I’ve been riding on the edge of the bridleways where all the thorns and the barbed fencing is. I have ripped a jersey and some waterproof shorts of mine. It’s really frustrating.

So, now I’m doing alternative exercises, all whilst not incurring any financial expense. I can’t afford the gym so short runs and upper body work outs are what I’m resorting to now. I’ve downloaded an app on my phone called ‘Home Workout’. It’s really hard actually and although I thought I was fit, since I can do long distances on the bike, the bike is by no means a full body workout. So, maybe through my frustration a new opportunity has presented itself which may actually be better for me.

This will tide me over until we’ve had a sustained period of dry weather.

So, although I’ve fallen out of love with the bike, this is only temporary. Bikes are by no means the be all and end all. The body and mind is where it’s at so I’m trying something alternative as cycling isn’t working out. I also think that because I’m trying something new, I’m not setting the bar as high as I would if I was cycling. So the relatively small achievement of running say 2-3 miles gives me more of a feeling of accomplishment than say a 20 mile MTB ride, which would have been completed within a certain amount of time but now, is much slower.

It’s important to keep the body in check, even through moderate exercise and it’s amazing what it does for the mind too.

Good luck everyone. Spring’s round the corner.

A good read. Respect for posting it.

I, (like a few more here it seems) am really struggling to bother with anything theses days and if totally honest for the last 18 months or so.

A multitude of things I think have been key but mainly my relationship was so so close to ending and that really wiped me out, fortunately we have been able to work it all out and if anything life’s better, but I can’t relax anymore. Various other things happened and over time I stopped riding, running, living. I have lost all my fitness.

I built a new bike to try and rekindle the love and desire of being out. I’ve used it maybe 10 times in 11 months.

I’ve gone from comfortable 20min 5k’s to absolutely blowing out of my arse and walking bits and being around 30mins when I can be bothered.

My general strength and overall fitness has gone. I know I need to build it up slowly again yet just get frustrated and demotivated too easily.

I’m extremely self critical and put myself down. I’m not enjoying riding (thinking of selling) hence so little of it, and running is almost non existent, because I’ve become so poor at them (in my eyes) that rather than enjoy I’m criticising myself.

The only thing I’m enjoying right now and even that I’m struggling to maintain a regular thing is walking.

Even though we worked it out, I am some times surprised looking at how I’ve been. Is that the irony? I can see just how hard I must be to be around and yet I’m struggling to change it.

I’m I feel getting somewhere. The wake up for me to a degree was my youngest asking why I’m always so grumpy and mad and I had no answer.

I don’t think anyone I know still comes on here but if so, discretion please, I found even that little bit hard to write and don’t want to take away from euanc’s post. I’ve been tempted to post so often but always bottled it.

I wouldn’t say I’m depressed but am heading into what I feel might be anxiety. Work is shit with no support from management and Monday morning is not fun, my sleep is knackered , and my concentration/ ability to form coherent sentences is not great.

First time on bike for a while still dreading tomorrow.

Great read – thanks for sharing.  There are more of us in this boat than you initially realise – but there is a lot of great support here – at least in my experience

As many have said, great read and thanks for sharing. Whilst in many ways I’d rather people didn’t feel as I do, reading about other people’s experiences does at least make you feel like you’re not alone. Funnily enough, I went for my first proper ride in more than a year today. I enjoyed it but it no longer felt like it is something I need to do. I only went because my dog had to spend the day at the vets and I needed to keep busy. She was not the catalyst but is now the main reason I don’t ride any more. Not that I mind a bit, the love I felt for mountain biking pales into insignificance compared with what I feel for her.

Great thread.  I can thoroughly recommend CBT, its been an eye opener for me.  I’ve had six sessions and I can now spot negative thinking, thought patterns that lead to anxiety/a spiral of anxiety and all kinds of traits I exhibited upon myself which were basically driving me into anxiety and unhappyness.

Today – may be surprising to some considering the bullish nature of my job – voluntarily put myself in two situations which I’ve avoided in the past and came away positive and comfortable.

Please seek some CBT.  Its free, and IMO an eye opener from which you can really improve your quality of life.  Life doesn’t have to be how you see it, there is an alternate.

I am there too – riding has become a struggle… any excuse not to go it grasped.  Getting out helps a lot, but my head would rather wallow than do anything productive about it.  I hit rock bottom around December – January and have slowly started dragging myself up from there since.  It is good to see I am not alone.

What has really hit me this time is the complete lack of interest in… well… anything.  I managed to keep the photography ticking over – just – but everything else was pushed aside and it still remains that way.  Hopefully the coming of spring will help.  The warmth usually helps a bit.

I know I should seek help, but I just seem to clam up when I try.  I blame the public school system for that… mostly….

Riding is the only thing I want to do at the moment. Not interested in anything else. Got way too much going on and escaping it all on a bike is all I want to do.

Was hoping this was going to be the year I’d get off the meds – probably not

Same here unfortunately. Currently sitting on the sofa really wishing tomorrow never comes.

I judge myself on every ride and the outcome is that I’m rubbish. I’m unfit, slow, crap, and look stupid. Injury has played a part in all this. I wonder if it’s worth the effort.

Thanks for posting, it’s a good interesting read.

I struggle with episodes of depression and most of the time, a bike ride really helps. A long or strenuous ride picks my mood up. But sometimes that doesn’t happen. I’ve been in a very dark place since September and felt so exhausted that I was struggling to ride, which made me feel even worse. Also, it has been grey and raining since early September. We’ve only had a handful of sunny days.

I’ve been on fluoxetine for the last 5 weeks which is helping. I think the extra daylight now we’re into March is helping too.

tbh If i didn’t go riding I wouldn’t be here. I really should try the cbt – meds haven’t worked for me in the past. Long winter this year. 🙁

Out on the bike last sunday ,covered in sluther , I saw some returning geese – I cheered them as they flew overhead. 🙂

@Alpineharry – get the acl checked and fixed if possible. Mine used to fail on me all the time .

Thanks for sharing that euanc. I do believe there is something about cycling that attracts those of us that suffer from depression. Way more of my cycling friends and acquaintances have admitted suffering from depression or show signs of it that friends in the rest of my life.

Maybe it’s the need to escape, I don’t know what it is, but I do know I personally feel better after I’ve been on the bike. I know not every ride I’ll enjoy but deep down I know that even the worse ride will help drag me out of a hole (not that knowing means I’m always able to take action). Having a young daughter at home has really cut back on my riding, and subsequently my mood has been low for a while now. My wife says that she understands why I need to ride but equally taking even a half day out causes issues at home.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43815370

Thanks for posting I think a lot of people can relate to this.

Those pictures are great.