Dear God what have I done?!.. I'm just too fat for this. Will I die?

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  • Dear God what have I done?!.. I'm just too fat for this. Will I die?
  • You’ll be cream crackered but I doubt you’ll die.


    24 miles over two days is a lot. but, if your mate is prepared to take it at your pace, you’ll be alright, maybe.

    the second day is going to be very hard going indeed, you know that right?

    Nice bike to do it on

    Two words – padded shorts.


    Second the shorts comment.

    Maybe this weekend and next, build up towards some really long, slow rides with as many café stops as you require. Don’t do out and back, choose a loop around somewhere if you can because if you feel a little niggle, you’ll want to be able to take a short-cut home. Go for time in the saddle rather than push to do lots of miles.

    The last week, fettle your bike and chill.

    Also, eat the hell out of all the carbs you can lay your paws on after the first day. That bit should be fun.

    Above all enjoy it. Sounds tough but something you’ll look back on with some justifiable pride. Good luck!


    Im (ill)prepared for the hardest slog of my life.. did I mention that im a fatty?

    I heard the more likley scenario is headwind en route to Paris, tail wind on way home?

    Worst case scenario, we have enough time to add an overnight stop if need be. Plus we start at 4am so even a truly leisurely crawl of 11mph should see us pretty close to target come early/mid afternoon. So stopping for prolonged break may also be feasible.


    Don’t shake your head too much

    🙂 man up ,240 miles in two days 🙄 😉


    thanks crispycross – wise words

    I was going to ask for training tips, I think hours in the saddle is wise.
    I’ve been stepping up turbo trainer time over the last few days as family commitments (and surrey hills!) make it tricky to head out on the road during the week.


    Don’t shake your head too much

    man up ,240 miles in two days

    I went to the doctor about that. They said I was suffering mild concussion when I shook my head. And not to do it.

    Yes, I will man up to the hilt. I need to think manly thoughts.


    Only joking Jim,it’s Fridayn all that and I always think of that thread when I see you post something 🙂

    Sure you will be fine,just pootle along,you have all day .

    Premier Icon Imabigkidnow

    I know nothing, but if it were me I’d try and find a ‘mystical touring rhythm’ that I’ve read about. i.e. your body starts to compute long distances after 3 or 4 days of gradual building.
    i.e. 50 miles, then 60, then 70 with the odd rest day built in: think beginner cycle tourist. I’ve read accounts where people say it starts getting easier on the 4th or 5th day … just keep eating and drinking and sleeping and the rest kicks in.
    I’ve you’ve got a job to maintain, get up and out for an hour in the morning, then try the last few hours before (food then) bed?

    I’m probably stupid though.


    Long story short

    I’ve put on lots of weight over the last year and have about 20hrs experience in the saddle this calendar year.

    I’ve signed up and booked ferry crossing to ride with my cycling fit mate to final stage of TDF next month. 120 miles in one day, and same coming back, loaded (On-One Pompetamine/Alfine)

    1 year ago I would have no real qualms. Right now my mental attitude is very negative. Although, I do like a challenge..

    I have 3 weeks to prepare.

    Will i die?

    Premier Icon scotroutes

    IME long breaks are tempting but are counter-productive. Your body goes into recovery mode after 30 minutes or so and it’s tougher to get going again the longer you stop. I prefer to stop little and often and just keep up a nice regular pace.

    imabigkidnow wrote:

    I’ve read accounts where people say it starts getting easier on the 4th or 5th day … just keep eating and drinking and sleeping and the rest kicks in.

    3rd day is always the toughest. Get that out of the way and your body will go on to auto-pilot.


    less posting on the forum, more pedalling.

    stop giving it all wah wah wah and get on with it, you are gonna be on tarmac, you are gonna be in france, you have a goal.

    buck your ideas up and remind your legs/arse what it feels like to pedal for an hour or two. looks like you are carrying plenty of reserve energy and a momentum advantage on every favourable gradient.

    ive looked and france is down from the uk, so it will be fine.



    a momentum advantage on every favourable gradient

    The best put down, ever! And oh so true

    I’ve done hilly (North Yorks Moors) centuries after months off the bike. The trick is to start slow and get slower. And rest stops are good, just keep them little and often, long enough to look foreward to, not long enough to send you to sleep. 15min every 60-90min of riding seems to be long enough to eat something and properly re-hydrate if I’m planning on something well beyond what I could manage in a single go.


    The trick is to start slow and get slower.

    Wise words for any ride that is not a race that and ride with someone slower than you so you feel awesome and strong all the time but hey your mate has bagged that one 😉


    and the chamois butt cream?


    Totally do-able. Man up, fix the attitude and watch you pacing on the ride and you’ll be fine. I did the Fred Whitton with about 3 weeks training (half of which I didn’t ride due to a sinus infection) and didn’t die, and I’m sure it’s hillier than the ride to Paris and back.

    Premier Icon coolhandluke

    Drugs man,

    If its good enough for Lance….


    Time on the road is about all that’ll make the difference with 3 weeks to go, but temper that time with not pushing it to the point you get an over-use injury or just can’t face another hour in the saddle. A broad base is the best preparation now I’d say, (and something that’ll give you a good platform to develop from when you have done this ride).

    You’ll get weary from the distance, even at touring pace, but you’ll suffer more if you are uncomfortable, so get your contact points fine tuned over the remaining time.

    When you are out getting the time in, set reachable goals – the next town, the next hill, (and come the end of the ride … the next lamp-post 😀 ). Do the same on the actual ride too.

    Dunno enough about nutrition for endurance on a bike, but assuming it’s similar [enough] to running … 3 weeks isn’t going to be enough time to adapt / train your metabolism to make changes (from burning sugars to burning fats), so maybe stick with what works for now, and sort that out later.

    Enjoy it.


    When you’re over there doing it don’t faff in the morning, get up & get on it, the earlier the better, you’ll already be disadvantaged because of the time difference with France. I’d be getting up at 5am the week before and bed for 8.

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