Dealing with manipulative people… what's your solution?
> more serious mode < She may not know how bad she is making you all feel,and if she has no significant other ,then you and your friends are the only people (outside family) that mean something to her. If you, or any of the rest of your friends care about what happens ,then talk to her.>serious mode off<
or go with the cat plan
🙂Posted 4 years ago
Details, details, details!! I know you want to keep it short but an example would help to shed light on the situation, if you are willing to share of course. Also, the mate who thought her actions were deliberate- was that the first time he has met her? Sometimes it takes someone with an ‘outsiders’ perspective to realise what is really going on.Posted 4 years agohoraMember
Even before I got to your second paragraph I knew what you were going to say next and I was already thinking of a couple of
girlswomen like that.
They seem to act eternally young/never grow up and will always blame
something in their childhoodANYONE for whats happened/happening to them.
Another couple of observations (that I’ve seen/can tie-in)
I bet she drinks at teens/early 20’s levels still.
I bet shes had a string of idiot boyfriends and its their fault not hers.
I used to say ‘feel for X, shes soo unlucky in love’. Then it clicked 😆Posted 4 years agochewkwMember
Looks like she is regretting not having settled down with family so seek attention.
Tell her party time is over and she really needs to calm down permanently as the good life will not be there any longer.
One blink she will be in her 50s, another blink she willl be all alone if she does not pipe down, further blink she will leave this world alone.Posted 4 years ago
Even before I
got to your second paragraphopened this thread, I knew what you were going to say next ( no ,I am not Psychic ) and I was already thinking of a couple ofgirls,women like that. TheyLike her,I seem to act eternally young/never grow up and will always blame something in their childhood ANYONE forelse,rather than whats happened/happening to themin the thread.
Another couple of observations (that I’ve seen/can tie-in/have made up)
I bet she
drinks at teens/early 20’s levels stillwould fancy me.
I bet shes had a string of
idiotPsychic boyfriends and its their fault not hers,that they have never met.
I used to say ‘feel for X, shes soo unlucky in love and send her my 20yr old profile photo’. Then it clicked ,and now they are all sorry.Posted 4 years agochewkwMember
grum – Member
Once folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the ‘old gang’ was just that, something from their old days.
Sooooo…. people you’ve been mates with a long time are all to be avoided? Unless they’ve got kids?
That happens sometimes … it’s more like those with the first child that avoid his/her mates but after having say 2 or 3 life go back to normal. i.e. behaving like younger days etc.
allthepies – Member
chewkw said » further blink she will leave this world alone.
The cats, don’t forget the cats.
They will all be put down to be with her … 😈Posted 4 years agoCougarSubscriber
It took me a long time to work out that simply, life is too short to put up with arseholes.
I can think offhand of three people who I put up with for years because they were “friends” and because when they put their mind to it they could be good company. Unfortunately, the rest of the time they were a word that the swear filter won’t let me type.
And the thing was, this wasn’t an isolated opinion. Everyone else who knew them thought pretty much the same things, but no-one ever did anything about it. We all just grumbled quietly to each other and put up with these disruptive buggers out of a sense of, I don’t know, guilt? Pity?
I’m not sure what the solution was (other than for one who I told directly to sort their behaviour out or GTF), but ultimately it got to a point where I’d be refusing to go out if they were there. Over time, others were saying the same thing and making the same decision, and eventually the problems presumably found someone else to latch on to and leech the life out of.
Because make no mistake, these people are parasites. My life has been immeasurably better without them in it. Cut them loose, and do it now.
a swift knee to the happy sacks she will drop like anyone else
Is she an Emohawk?Posted 4 years ago
Will try to keep this short, it’s a long old story but essentially our Glastonbury was overshadowed by one of our group trying to start an argument, failing and then having a tantrum a 5-year old would be impressed by. (She’s 40 in August…) My mate’s observation was that the whole thing looked deliberate.
She’s been falling out with friends constantly for the last 20 years, could sulk for England, has never had a boyfriend etc – and most of her friends now have had enough and are backing away from her. I think the fact that a lot of them have toddlers of their own mean they’re all a little wiser about the games people play! + she’s attacked (verbally) people a few too many times now.
I was the target of the attempted argument and decided the best way to avoid getting involved was to just refuse to play the game and basically just kept my distance for the whole weekend… and will continue to do so because I think any response from me just draws me into her manipulations…
Although the group doesn’t get together that often, we’re bound to be in the same room again at some point and my plan is to just disengage – on the basis that any conversation leaves me open to more grief…
Thoughts?Posted 4 years agoSuiMember
I’ve changed my mind – in the wise words of junkyard – GOAD her on – it will make all subsequent outings with her a laugh, and all of your “gang” will love you for it – infact I reckon they would go so far as to put you in a small confined space together just for kicks.. Is she fat as well..? just asking like.Posted 4 years agoWoodySubscriber
GOAD her on
Quite some time ago I realised that some people are just asshats who are entirely responsible for theur own (denied) failings and really unpleasant to be with. They all have one thing in common, and that is the ability to dish it out but not take it.
When they finally get a taste of their own medicine it can be spectacularly entertaining. Go for it, it doesn’t sound like you’d be bothered if you lost/dropped her as a friend anyway 😉Posted 4 years ago
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