Dealing with manipulative people… what's your solution?

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  • Dealing with manipulative people… what's your solution?
  • boxfish
    Member

    She needs pet cats. Lots of them.

    patriotpro
    Member

    Sounds like you did the right thing to me.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    Yup, buy her a kitten

    just humour her if she tries to draw you in and avoid playing along with her games.

    glupton1976
    Member

    Just kick her in the jacksie.

    cheekyboy
    Member

    I can help you with this but you will have to send me ten pounds first.

    Cheers

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    What’s her forum log in?

    brooess
    Member

    She needs pet cats. Lots of them.

    That’s hilarious. 20 years ago someone predicted she’d end up being a cat lady!

    trail_rat
    Member

    a swift knee to the happy sacks she will drop like anyone else πŸ˜‰

    Sui
    Member

    tell her to do one, I never understand why people get drawn in to arguments when you can simply ignore them – you know like we do with childrens tantrums. By 1 year old does a wicked belly flop t the floor job now and he gets ignored (ok I laugh my tits of actually)..

    grum
    Member

    Not a lot else you can do other than what you’re doing IMO.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    > more serious mode < She may not know how bad she is making you all feel,and if she has no significant other ,then you and your friends are the only people (outside family) that mean something to her. If you, or any of the rest of your friends care about what happens ,then talk to her.>serious mode off<

    or go with the cat plan

    πŸ™‚

    Peyote
    Member

    You could try agreeing vehemently with everything she says? Just to add a bit of interest like, especially if she’s trying to pick faults with you and start arguments that way. Agreeing with folk often takes the wind out of their sails.

    shermer75
    Member

    Details, details, details!! I know you want to keep it short but an example would help to shed light on the situation, if you are willing to share of course. Also, the mate who thought her actions were deliberate- was that the first time he has met her? Sometimes it takes someone with an ‘outsiders’ perspective to realise what is really going on.

    b r
    Member

    Once folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the ‘old gang’ was just that, something from their old days.

    Move on.

    shermer75
    Member

    b r you have just made me sad like an episode of ‘The Wonder Years’

    popstar
    Member

    Sounds like she needs to get laid. Get a room.

    bigyinn
    Member

    Kill her with fire after clubbing her unconscious with your penis?

    hora
    Member

    Even before I got to your second paragraph I knew what you were going to say next and I was already thinking of a couple of girls women like that.

    They seem to act eternally young/never grow up and will always blame something in their childhood ANYONE for whats happened/happening to them.

    Another couple of observations (that I’ve seen/can tie-in)
    I bet she drinks at teens/early 20’s levels still.
    I bet shes had a string of idiot boyfriends and its their fault not hers.

    I used to say ‘feel for X, shes soo unlucky in love’. Then it clicked πŸ˜†

    rocketman
    Member

    Ignore
    or
    Leave it with me
    or
    I don’t know

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    I think you’ll find this is the correct reaction to constant provocation

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9SSOWORzw4[/video]

    The advantage being that you’ve then got something to feed her cats with too

    Junkyard
    Member

    goad her relentlessly …assuming the more mature option of never ever speaking to her ever again is not a viable one

    edlong
    Member

    This thread would be a lot more interesting We’d be able to offer more useful help with more details of the behaviour.

    Junkyard
    Member

    Then it clicked

    Before or after they dumped you πŸ˜‰

    shermer75
    Member

    Dammit edlong I you saw straight through me!! πŸ˜‰

    chewkw
    Member

    Looks like she is regretting not having settled down with family so seek attention.

    Tell her party time is over and she really needs to calm down permanently as the good life will not be there any longer.

    One blink she will be in her 50s, another blink she willl be all alone if she does not pipe down, further blink she will leave this world alone.

    grum
    Member

    Once folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the ‘old gang’ was just that, something from their old days.

    Move on.

    Sooooo…. people you’ve been mates with a long time are all to be avoided? Unless they’ve got kids? πŸ˜•

    allthepies
    Member

    chewkw wrote:

    further blink she will leave this world alone.

    The cats, don’t forget the cats.

    jekkyl
    Member

    yeah details plz, love a bit of gossip about total strangers in the afternoon. If she starts could you take a sensible approach whilst making her look foolish by mocking her or what she is saying? I’m picturing Vic n Bob with handbags here “OOOOOHHHH”

    fasthaggis
    Member

    Even before I got to your second paragraph opened this thread, I knew what you were going to say next ( no ,I am not Psychic ) and I was already thinking of a couple of girls,women like that.

    They Like her,I seem to act eternally young/never grow up and will always blame something in their childhood ANYONE for else,rather than whats happened/happening to them in the thread.

    Another couple of observations (that I’ve seen/can tie-in/have made up)
    I bet she drinks at teens/early 20’s levels still would fancy me.
    I bet shes had a string of idiot Psychic boyfriends and its their fault not hers,that they have never met.

    I used to say ‘feel for X, shes soo unlucky in love and send her my 20yr old profile photo’. Then it clicked ,and now they are all sorry.

    chewkw
    Member

    grum – Member

    Once folk grow up (normally when kids appear), they realise that the ‘old gang’ was just that, something from their old days.

    Move on.

    Sooooo…. people you’ve been mates with a long time are all to be avoided? Unless they’ve got kids?

    That happens sometimes … it’s more like those with the first child that avoid his/her mates but after having say 2 or 3 life go back to normal. i.e. behaving like younger days etc.

    allthepies – Member

    chewkw said Β» further blink she will leave this world alone.

    The cats, don’t forget the cats.

    They will all be put down to be with her … 😈

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    It took me a long time to work out that simply, life is too short to put up with arseholes.

    I can think offhand of three people who I put up with for years because they were “friends” and because when they put their mind to it they could be good company. Unfortunately, the rest of the time they were a word that the swear filter won’t let me type.

    And the thing was, this wasn’t an isolated opinion. Everyone else who knew them thought pretty much the same things, but no-one ever did anything about it. We all just grumbled quietly to each other and put up with these disruptive buggers out of a sense of, I don’t know, guilt? Pity?

    I’m not sure what the solution was (other than for one who I told directly to sort their behaviour out or GTF), but ultimately it got to a point where I’d be refusing to go out if they were there. Over time, others were saying the same thing and making the same decision, and eventually the problems presumably found someone else to latch on to and leech the life out of.

    Because make no mistake, these people are parasites. My life has been immeasurably better without them in it. Cut them loose, and do it now.

    a swift knee to the happy sacks she will drop like anyone else

    Is she an Emohawk?

    brooess
    Member

    Will try to keep this short, it’s a long old story but essentially our Glastonbury was overshadowed by one of our group trying to start an argument, failing and then having a tantrum a 5-year old would be impressed by. (She’s 40 in August…) My mate’s observation was that the whole thing looked deliberate.

    She’s been falling out with friends constantly for the last 20 years, could sulk for England, has never had a boyfriend etc – and most of her friends now have had enough and are backing away from her. I think the fact that a lot of them have toddlers of their own mean they’re all a little wiser about the games people play! + she’s attacked (verbally) people a few too many times now.

    I was the target of the attempted argument and decided the best way to avoid getting involved was to just refuse to play the game and basically just kept my distance for the whole weekend… and will continue to do so because I think any response from me just draws me into her manipulations…

    Although the group doesn’t get together that often, we’re bound to be in the same room again at some point and my plan is to just disengage – on the basis that any conversation leaves me open to more grief…

    Thoughts?

    flicker
    Member

    They will all be put down to be with her …

    …..they’ll all feed off her corpse….

    Sui
    Member

    I’ve changed my mind – in the wise words of junkyard – GOAD her on – it will make all subsequent outings with her a laugh, and all of your “gang” will love you for it – infact I reckon they would go so far as to put you in a small confined space together just for kicks.. Is she fat as well..? just asking like.

    hora
    Member

    Is she fat as well.

    If shes like the ones I know then no she’ll be quite slim.

    uselesshippy
    Member

    At glastonbury……..
    Should.have handcuffed her too a hippy/a faith healer/samaraten and buggered off and had fun. πŸ˜€

    brooess
    Member

    Although it would be fascinating, no more details I’m afraid…

    I’m minded to think like Cougar, and I most other people who know her are too… life’s too short. Too many good friends I’d rather spend my efforts on…

    Premier Icon Woody
    Subscriber

    GOAD her on

    This ^^

    Quite some time ago I realised that some people are just asshats who are entirely responsible for theur own (denied) failings and really unpleasant to be with. They all have one thing in common, and that is the ability to dish it out but not take it.

    When they finally get a taste of their own medicine it can be spectacularly entertaining. Go for it, it doesn’t sound like you’d be bothered if you lost/dropped her as a friend anyway πŸ˜‰

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 79 total)

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