Current in vogue phrases and what they really mean.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 97 total)
  • Current in vogue phrases and what they really mean.
  • Premier Icon funkmasterp
    Subscriber

    Journey is a popular one at my place to describe customers going from buying something to checking out. The word works, but just seems condescending somehow. Like the customer is off searching for lost Inca gold when in fact they are sat at home in their underwear clicking a mouse button.

    How can we improve the customer journey = Our website is a bit shit and needs improvement.

    “Road Map” – to describe a set of pre-planned, cast in stone, organisational changes.

    Something i see in thread titles on here

    What blah blah blah “du jour” ?

    Obviously the more plain and simply term “currently popular” simply isnt high brow enough to sound “on point”

    bunch of cock.

    I think this has almost become a meme here, like “[something]trackworld” and “this [object]? why yes, yes it is”.

    what’s the “go to” annoys me infinitely more

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Agile works when everyone understands and does it properly which is almost never.

    Even we brought a PM to a 12 week proof of concept which we did with Agile, and she just kept producing status reports and asking how things were going when the Kannan board was up in the office for everyone to see.

    Premier Icon oldtennisshoes
    Subscriber

    I’ve been on a fully “agile” project since xmas, and tbh it’s great. We tell our client how much work we can realistically do in a “sprint” (4 week development+delivery period), we do it, and then we start again. Happy client with regular deliveries of software with new functionality, happy developers with realistic targets and realistic delivery dates. There’s a bit of marketing/management bull**** to live with, but the overall experience has been very positive. YMMV of course

    This +1

    It needs to lose a lot of the ****y language though Scrum master (really!) Sprint – what about sustainable pace you ****tards?
    And don’t get me started on ceremonies – ceremonial they are not.

    Having said that, look at the agile manifesto, stick to some of this, add in a couple more values
    Leadership over management
    Mindset over ability to use a framework

    and there is a lot of good stuff

    https://agilemanifesto.org/

    Premier Icon Kamakazie
    Subscriber

    “Road Map” – to describe a set of pre-planned, cast in stone, organisational changes.

    Sounds like an efficient use of language.

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    Iconic – it seems that every article on the radio has to reference those little Russian paintings.

    Reach out – As has been said before, OK If you’re in the Four Tops

    In and of itself- Uh?

    Just get on with it – it’s like saying “I’m a stupid person”.

    mogrim
    Member

    It needs to lose a lot of the **** language though Scrum master (really!) Sprint – what about sustainable pace you ****tards?
    And don’t get me started on ceremonies – ceremonial they are not.

    😀

    Blackflag
    Member

    A few months ago i came across someone who used these….

    Metadata Universe (A single software platform with lots of data in it) and;
    Metadata Multiverse (two or more of the above that connect with each other)

    Needless to say he was a consultant.

    MTB-Idle
    Member

    Look guys, if the scrum master can just organise a stand-up meeting we can all get with the programme.

    Premier Icon ChrisL
    Subscriber

    “You do you” – I can’t tell whether the people who use it are unwittingly or intentionally sounding passive aggressive by using it.

    aP
    Member

    Ive just in-boxed an email with the phrase ‘commencement of our coordination engine’.

    Premier Icon slowoldman
    Subscriber

    “In-boxed”? Is that a verb?

    aP
    Member

    slowoldman
    “In-boxed”? Is that a verb?”

    Keep up grandad.

    I quite like using Agile for project management, but it suffers from the usual bollocks so people can make money out of consultancy and training.

    Get out.

    Agile is bollocks speak from PM’s that simply means taking on too much work and under delivering on everything.

    This is the reaction of everyone I know when a PM comes into a room and talks about agile.

    null

    Agree on KPIs/Metrics as well, too often they are an excuse for piss poor managers not to actually show any leadership or critically appraise a situation – they just fall back on KPI’s in lieu of doing any actual thinking.

    Premier Icon Pz_Steve
    Subscriber

    Not management speak, but one I hear too often these days which really annoys me is “Curated”. A radio playlist, curated by X… most moving film sequences, curated by Y…

    What’s wrong with “chosen”, FFS?

    From a grump old fart who works in the museum sector (where actual Curators actually Curate).

    Premier Icon grtdkad
    Subscriber

    I get the : “…just go to the client’s site and report back on the art of the possible”

    Energy projects by the way, we’re not producing watercolours of unicorns.

    #prick

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    “Road Map” – to describe a set of pre-planned, cast in stone, organisational changes.

    Sounds like an efficient use of language.

    if its cast in stone… how are you supposed to fold it?

    acidchunks
    Member

    Metadata Universe (A single software platform with lots of data in it) and;
    Metadata Multiverse (two or more of the above that connect with each other)

    🤣

    Thanks, I’m totally gonna use this at work (analyst in a scrum team that’s not really agile but we like to pretend it is when it suits us)

    Premier Icon Poopscoop
    Subscriber

    Wow, just wow.

    Most of this unnecessary word origami comes from the US initially I take it?

    Premier Icon slowoldman
    Subscriber

    Keep up grandad.

    Sorry, I still use “received”.

    “Curated”

    Or indeed “specially curated”. To quote another mad phrase “get in the sea”.

    Premier Icon ransos
    Subscriber

    Agile is bollocks speak from PM’s that simply means taking on too much work and under delivering on everything.

    If you say so grandad.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I get the : “…just go to the client’s site and report back on the art of the possible”

    English not as a first language, perhaps? Sounds like it’s out of the same stable as “please do the needful.”

    Premier Icon bikebouy
    Subscriber

    Metadata Universe (A single software platform with lots of data in it) and;
    Metadata Multiverse (two or more of the above that connect with each other)

    That quote ^^ makes a lot of sense..

    TurnerGuy
    Member

    The big company I work for has gone from waterfall to agile delivery of everything and I mean multiyear longterm investments. Quite how the hell that works is beyond me. I kid you not they are actively searching for unicorns, wtaf.

    The big problem with waterfall, which anyone using it for long projects seems to have forgotton/ignored, is that it is pretty imposible to completely specify everything you will want in a piece of software, almost certainly impossible to specify the best way to provide that functionality, and by the time the software is delivered there may no longer be a requirement for that functionality.

    Hence with agile/xp/similar you basically come up with a prioritised list (the ‘backlog’) of functionality you want and then iteratively build the piece of software, with regular releases so people can examine what has been built and confirm that it is what is wanted or whether there are actually better ways to do it, whether some impending bits of functonality from that list are not now required or should be modified, whether there are new bits of functionality that have been recognised and are required, and whether the reprioritise items currently on the list.

    It is the business that performs this review and can regularly reprioritise the list of what is to be delivered in the next iteration, and the development process is ‘agile’ in that it can react to this and redirect itself.

    It is up to the business to not get carried away changing requirements and therefore keep to budget, but the premise is that at the end what is delivered is what is actually required, even if that has morphed from the original vision of what was going to be delivered, so even if you have gone over budget it will be a lot better than having just delivered a load of dysfunctional software that doesn’t meet the requirements and nobody wants.

    In terms of the software development process then applying the agile delivery processes to even something that externally has to follow a waterfall delivery for contractural reasons is still beneficial because the regular, short, delivery increments force things like a constant development velocity, constant testing of deliverables, etc.

    To do this successfully though involves a lot of expertise in setting up automated testing (ideally there is no manual testing) and expertise in writing the correct tests at the correct level.

    This is not easy – we’ve just had a greenfield development which has still ended up with problems in this area.

    And it’s compounded by young developers reading blogs of the internet and thinking they know best and ignoring any prior ‘art’ – even though lots of the principles behind what they think is state of the art can be tracked back to the late 60s…

    The ideas behind it are simple but there are, as said, a lot of people trying to turn it into formal processes that they can sell books and consultancy on. e.g. scrum masters…

    Read ‘Extreme Programming Explained’ to see how simple and successful it could be.

    Read ‘Organizational Patterns of Agile Software Development’ to see where it came from.

    If you say so grandad

    I’m 30. Grrrrrrrrrrr

    Premier Icon funkmasterp
    Subscriber

    The big problem with waterfall, which anyone using it for long projects seems to have forgotton/ignored, is that it is pretty imposible to

    Not get soaked through and damage your hearing?

    Nico
    Member

    Iconic – it seems that every article on the radio has to reference those little Russian paintings.

    “Reference” – what happened to “refer to”?

    Ambassadors is one of my least favourite words. Not when referencing the sort of people who eat Ferrero Rocher chocs, or appear in Holbein paintings, but when referencing sponsored sports people who don’t actually compete head-to-head with others: surfers and climbers and stuff. Oh yeah, and “athlete”. I’m from an era when athlete referenced what Merkans call field and track sportspeople. Other sportspersons were called sportsmen and women. Technical jargon can be excused, though scrum-master is a bit **** by anyone’s measure.

    Premier Icon mrchrist
    Subscriber

    I too am a scrum master, although this time they are calling me an agile delivery manager.

    Preferred working @ the 7-11 in Whistler in 2003 tbh…

    yiman
    Member

    The big problem with waterfall, which anyone using it for long projects seems to have forgotton/ignored, is that it is pretty imposible to completely specify everything you will want in a piece of software, almost certainly impossible to specify the best way to provide that functionality, and by the time the software is delivered there may no longer be a requirement for that functionality.
    Hence with agile/xp/similar you basically come up with a prioritised list (the ‘backlog’) of functionality you want and then iteratively build the piece of software, with regular releases so people can examine what has been built and confirm that it is what is wanted or whether there are actually better ways to do it, whether some impending bits of functonality from that list are not now required or should be modified, whether there are new bits of functionality that have been recognised and are required, and whether the reprioritise items currently on the list.
    It is the business that performs this review and can regularly reprioritise the list of what is to be delivered in the next iteration, and the development process is ‘agile’ in that it can react to this and redirect itself.
    It is up to the business to not get carried away changing requirements and therefore keep to budget, but the premise is that at the end what is delivered is what is actually required, even if that has morphed from the original vision of what was going to be delivered, so even if you have gone over budget it will be a lot better than having just delivered a load of dysfunctional software that doesn’t meet the requirements and nobody wants.
    In terms of the software development process then applying the agile delivery processes to even something that externally has to follow a waterfall delivery for contractural reasons is still beneficial because the regular, short, delivery increments force things like a constant development velocity, constant testing of deliverables, etc.
    To do this successfully though involves a lot of expertise in setting up automated testing (ideally there is no manual testing) and expertise in writing the correct tests at the correct level.
    This is not easy – we’ve just had a greenfield development which has still ended up with problems in this area.
    And it’s compounded by young developers reading blogs of the internet and thinking they know best and ignoring any prior ‘art’ – even though lots of the principles behind what they think is state of the art can be tracked back to the late 60s…
    The ideas behind it are simple but there are, as said, a lot of people trying to turn it into formal processes that they can sell books and consultancy on. e.g. scrum masters…

    All very good if you’re developing software. Not so good at all when you’re building the infrastructure for a new factory on a multi-year project moving through design, construction into the deployment of office/meeting room equipment and machine tool integrations.

    Premier Icon ransos
    Subscriber

    All very good if you’re developing software. Not so good at all when you’re building the infrastructure for a new factory on a multi-year project moving through design, construction into the deployment of office/meeting room equipment and machine tool integrations.

    I’ve used it successfully on large infrastructure projects. Because requirements on those change too.

    Premier Icon dissonance
    Subscriber

    Not so good at all when you’re building the infrastructure for a new factory

    Thats the fun though of the trendy methodologies. Find a nice square peg which fits nicely into that custom hole used in one sector and then use the biggest sledgehammer you can find to smash it into the round hole of every other sector. Take six sigma and various other previous flavours of the month I cant remember right now.
    I am sure agile works right in certain situations but so far in my experience its mostly used as an excuse for not having the faintest idea of what the business actually wants and to just stumble along week to week in the hope might get somewhere.

    Premier Icon kcal
    Subscriber

    I’m still not wholy convinced by the Agile stuff even though it had worked in my last place of work, went on a conference and everything (when it was XP). Required a huge huge amounts of trust from players and managers as well – pair programming was very difficult to get head around.

    At least I have tried to take some of the key bits in my current job but one part in Agile TDD and the rest in standalone waterfall method is tough sell. It does help having the unit test philosophy though.

    Other stuff that was very valid was always present client, short sprints, always buildable code – I reckon a lot of that is very valid.

    Premier Icon oldtennisshoes
    Subscriber

    I’ve used it successfully on large infrastructure projects. Because requirements on those change too.

    +1 £90 million water treatment plant design and construction

    Look at Project 13

    Home

    Agile is great but it seems to have little to do with “scrum” which is awful and what most people mean when they say agile.

    Premier Icon fazzini
    Subscriber

    Answers on a postcard please, or if you prefer, reply 😉 – all used in a meeting at work today:

    “…this gives us our North Star…”

    “…in the space of…”

    “..colleague immersion sessions…”

    longmover
    Member

    I am sure agile works right in certain situations but so far in my experience its mostly used as an excuse for not having the faintest idea of what the business actually wants and to just stumble along week to week in the hope might get somewhere.

    Sounds perfect for the mining industry!

    philjunior
    Member

    “Business as usual, maintain good behaviors”

    =

    “We’re going to tell you to do the most effective thing whilst actively incentivising things that harm the company as a whole.”

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    just go to the client’s site and report back on the art of the possible”

    Funnily enough I’ve just been watching a 1985 World In Action documentary about a charity car race across the outback in which the narrator refers to the ‘art of the possible’ in relation to outback ingenuity so its not that current or vogue-y

    from 28.39

    I’m just imagining trapping up to some manky  building site portacabin for a site progress meeting and the reaction I would get if I said some of this stuff.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 97 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.