Ominous text message from my bro asking to call him when I woke up, any time.

Turns out my Dad was out walking the dog and had a massive heart attack. Luckily a home owner saw him fall flat on his face and called an ambo. He’s at the local hospital and they had to shock him twice. He’s come round but very confused, can barely talk but they’re having to use sedatives to keep him calm as he’s constantly getting up, going for doors and wandering into other rooms, washing his face in people’s sinks and generally being quite hard to manage. He’s looking at a triple bypass. He’s the fit and healthy one. The ex-copper and now park ranger. Argh….. He’s in the UK and I’m here in Oz. So now trying to arrange things with wife/work/kids and planning a flight back to UK. My brother reckons there’s little point coming back now but maybe after the op and he’s cleared to go home to help with rehab, dog walking and keeping Mom from going insane.

I just can’t believe it. 63 years old, otherwise fit and healthy. An outdoors person, walks his gsd twice a day, doesn’t smoke. WTF. W the actual F. When you move to the other side of the world you know things like this are a possibility but when it does happen it’s a total headspin.

Just a bit mad. Life is just mad.

Tough one fella, chin up.

Have to say I agree with your bro about going later.

Had similar two years ago. Got the call whilst at the staff Xmas party that my dad had died.

Feel for you but I think your brother is right and dropping everything to go over now is what you feel you ought to be doing but not necessarily the best thing.

It must be shocking for you, and I hope you’re ok. I’ve been in a similar position. But I only had to fly across Europe, not around the world. Personally, I’d be inclined to go, but a lot will depend on how understanding your employers are, how it affects family in Oz, and how it affects your family in UK, esp. if they’re putting you up.

I had a very similar call about 20 years ago, just after I had finished my finals at uni… I can remember just how devastating that feeling was, wondering how it could have happened, and at that point it hadn’t even come into my head that one of my parents might die… he was my Dad, this shouldn’t happen to him! Besides wasn’t he invincible???

To some extent we should have expected it, my Dad had been treated for high cholesterol and blood pressure for a while, but it still came as a massive shock when I was told that he had a heart attack, as he was fit and well at the time. He also had to be shocked numerous times while in A&E.

I remember wanting to immediately go to see him, but at that point he was out of immediate danger and I would have just got in the way in the ICU. Also, I think I would have just been going for my sake at that point, he knew I was thinking of him and I used to speak to my Mum daily and after discussing it with her we both decided it was more important to be there to support them both when he got home.

My Dad didn’t get the bypass operation at that point, he recovered from the heart attack pretty well, but wasn’t the same, used to get out of breath far more quickly than he used to. It wasn’t until around 2000 that he had a quadruple bypass, and that seemed to give him a new lease of life.

In your case, it will initially be hard for your Dad to come to terms with the fact that, even after his bypass, he’ll likely not be as fit as he was before… my Dad used to get frustrated about not being able to do some things, and it takes a relatively long time to recover from the surgery as well, for example he’ll not be able to lift anything more than a kettle of water for a good length of time, while his chest heals. So I’d suggest that your brother is right, this is the time when both your parents will need you the most. Also, it shouldn’t be too long before he’ll be able to take phone calls and the like… I remember chatting to Dad a number of times as he recovered from his bypass surgery.

Now he is in hospital the immediate danger has passed, in the coronary ICU he’ll in good hands and being looked after well.. my Dad couldn’t praise the doctors and nurses who looked after him enough… although I think they were relieved when he left due to his love of appalling jokes!

Anyway, sorry for rambling on a bit, I guess what I have been trying to say it this…

Your Dad should now be out of immediate danger and he’s probably being looked after by some of the best doctors and nurses around… he’ll take a little while to recover and get his fitness back… but the main thing is that he’s likely to be around for a good number of years to come…

Sorry to hear that, good luck to you and your dad, fingers crossed for you all.

Thoughts with you all.

Sounds like he was found in time so should do well. Went through this with my Dad 5 years ago, he survived and does Ok. His lifestyle isn’t fantastic and not what he wanted for his retirement but we’ve had 5 years out of him when at the time we had said goodbye as they didn’t expect him to pull though.

Part of the story is here if you think it will help.

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/big-up-the-nhs

Well at least he’s still in he hospital..

Mine went walkabout around Bristol straight after his triple bypass…
Got picked up an took back to hospital by the police… 🙂

Thoughts with ya anyway…Just go steady yourself…

Horrible news. Thinking of you and hoping for the best.

My dad had a heart attack a few years ago, in fact he’d had several without knowing. It was only when we dragged him to the doctors that we found out the full extent.
Poor lifestyle and diet had crept up slowly over the years to the point where he hadn’t realised how out of shape he was.
He got taken in for a quadruple bypass and to have a pacemaker fitted. He had another heart attack on his way to theatre but the op was a success and hes a different person now. Much more active. He says that he feels like he’s had a service.
The other week we had to stop him playing football with the kids 🙂

What i’m trying to say is that he’s in good hands now. It may seem like the end of the world (it certainly did to me) but he’ll be ok. The NHS are fantastic, especially for heart patients and it’s probably the medication making him unsettled. When my dad was in, the meds sent him loopy. He urinated and one of the drawers in his room and thought that the nurses were the undead sent to get him. He’d tore out all of his lines and was trying to fight them off with a set of tweezers. They thought it was funny as they’re used to that kind of thing.

Chin up. It’s a long road to recovery but things will improve.

My sympathies – it can be really shitty being an expat when someone you love is unwell back home. There is no right or wrong answer to the question of whether you should come back or not – do what you feel is right. That said, having a video chat with people back home might well provide you with some comfort – at least that was what I found with the highs and lows of my dad’s fight with cancer – there is something about being able to see and interact with loved ones that makes it far more comforting than a phone call when you’re feeling the distance between you and home.

I hope that your dad is back to his old self soon.

I feel for you being on the other side of the world when stuff like this happens.

Whether you go home immediately depends on your funds, your employer and your family I guess. If your bro says to wait then maybe that’s best for your dad, but you need to look after yourself too.

Hopefully he’s through the crux and in to good hands now to start the recovery

keep your head up mate. He’s survived, and although there’s some hard times ahead, he’s battled through the hardest bit.

My dad had a Heart Attack when he was out on his bike, unfortunately there was no one around and he didn’t make it. He was 51, he was fit, it can happen to anyone.

This reminds me I must call my dad today, been a couple of weeks since we last chatted over the phone.

Fingers crossed for your Dad OP.

There’s not really a lot you can do until after the bypass except comfort your mum, and it sounds like your brother’s on the case. After the op though is a different matter. Your dad will be totally useless for a few weeks and your mum will need all the help she can get. Your dad will be fine after the first few days. He’ll have no upper body strength so will need help getting out of bed and chairs and many other day to day activities.
Good luck! remember it’s only a pump, and being fit, he’ll probably be out and about in a couple of days.

Thanks peeps. My bro and Mom are going over to see him now. I rang the ward and they said he’s still very confused and doesn’t remember what happened. Apparently the above was there very quickly but no idea if first on scene was able to do CPR or if he was unconscious for any length of time. Appreciate all the kind comments.

I’m just so glad he was seen on front of someone’s house. He’s a ranger at Himley Hall in Dudley and often patrols the park and lakes when it’s closed to general public and takes the dog over. I’m just thankful he was seen and help was there fairly sharpish.

Dbl post sorry

Best wishes to you and your dad. I know what people have said above about not coming over now, but if you can afford it – both time- and money-wise – I would suggest coming over sooner and staying until after the op, when he is on his feet again. It can be very helpful for him, for you, and for your family (mum, brother(s), etc.), to be around… as much to socialise and be together as to be practically helpful. That said, if your time/money is limited, it probably is better to come later.

Whatever the case, all the best to all of you. It is tough, I know. I’ve just been there.

Best of health to aphex-2k Snr.
They’re pretty good these days these surgeon chaps you know.
He’ll be right.

And stay put.
Pre-Election UK is best left until you absolutely have to be here. 🙂

Garrr

So he was going to have an op on Friday but apparently he’s got bone fragments floating around his orbit, and still some bleeding behind his eye so he can’t have anticoagulants right now.

Just waiting to book a flight once I know what’s going on. *sigh*

Must be hard for you. Like others have said, he’s in the best place and you are best saving your flight cost and money until you and and your family really need it.

Hang on in there

So they canned the op for Friday as his eye socket is still bleeding. Will be planning for another look at getting him fixed next week. I spoke to him yesterday on the phone and told him I was going to come over and he was in bits. Not nice hearing anyone upset but when your Dad is snotting tears down the phone at the prospect of his son travelling 1000’s of km’s to help him recover was a bit much for him.

I’m going to have to get a lottery ticket as I really can’t cope with any more dramas to deal with! (see my post on Good Deed gone t!ts up!)

SIGH!!!