Cool cops' witty banter with cheeky van driver becomes internet hit….OR NOT!

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  • Cool cops' witty banter with cheeky van driver becomes internet hit….OR NOT!
  • Premier Icon bruneep

    Bit of a c0ck really.
    TWO policemen who keep their cool and have a laugh with a cheeky motorist who refuses to give his details have become an internet hit.

    The officers pulled over a van driver suspected of using his mobile phone at the wheel.

    The YouTube video, which has been viewed 73,000 times, shows 20 minutes of banter which wouldn’t be out of place in a Chewin’ the Fat sketch.

    The driver, who will only tell the officers he is “John, son of David”, repeatedly denies the road traffic charge.

    The man claims he was going to get a banana and said: “I’m not driving today, at this point in time I am simply travelling.”

    Even when he is threatened with arrest for obstruction, “John” refuses to give his date of birth because he “can’t remember coming out my mother’s water”.

    At the start of the clip, the driver is asked if his name used to be John Burns.

    He replies: “I probably used to be when I was born but I didn’t consent to it because I was only wee.”

    One officer tells him: “I’m asking you for your name and date of birth so I can check if you have a valid driving licence.”

    The driver says: “The birth certificate is Crown Copyright and I cannot use that. You’re asking me to commit fraud.”

    Showing the patience of a saint, one policeman, referring to the driver’s giggling girlfriend, asks: “See this lady here, does she ever buy you a card once a year? And if so, when does that happen?”

    After getting a date of birth and address,, one of the officers tells the driver that he will dedicate a chapter to him in his book.

    Asked by the man if he enjoys his
    job, the policeman quips: “I used to enjoy it – up until about 20 minutes ago.” He then says to the driver: “You better not be putting this up on YouTube.”

    When told it would be going online, the PC has a laugh saying he’s “Tam, son of wee Bobby fae the Calton”.

    He stresses that it’s “wee Bobby” because “big Bobby is in the same street and you dinnae want to confuse the two of them”.

    A police spokesman said: “A 44-year-old man is subject of a report to the procurator fiscal in connection with an alleged road traffic offence on November 6.”


    Premier Icon Northwind


    Premier Icon easygirl

    That was a waste of 30 minutes of 2 officers time


    Freemen on the land the one argument in favour of arming the police.

    Premier Icon Lifer

    Quality Polis!

    Premier Icon Northwind

    I like the bit where he had a legal definition of “driving” but doesn’t know what “employed” means.


    what a prick that bloke is


    Theres lots of simular stuff about freemen and being stopped by the Police on u tube

    What a complete bellend.


    Think I might have tazered him 😉

    Premier Icon 2unfit2ride

    I enjoyed that, it was nice to see the police showing they have a sense of humor, as I normally find should I encounter them.
    There is nothing better than a bit of banter, as long as no one gets angry or upset. When I was last stopped a couple of weeks ago (but I must stress the last time was about 10 years prior to then) I was asked how fast I was going & asked to explain why the officer was unable to catch up, I said I didn’t know precisely how fast I was going & could they prove my speed, to which they said they couldn’t so we had a bit of a laugh about how the car I was in was faster then theirs.
    They did point out & show me the speed they had been traveling to try & catch up & suggested I calmed down a bit, but they did it with a smile & that made all the difference between a well taken bit of advice & what could of just been an arsey exchange of words.
    I have never had a problem with the police as I always find they treat people with the respect they deserve, you can’t ask for any more.


    Quite a good article on Freemen in the Economist, here

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