On Easter Sunday I took my wife’s parents out for lunch with my wife and our two kids. I paid for the meal and all drinks but when it came to the tip, I was expecting some sort of contribution and was a bit shocked when nothing was offered.

Then on Wednesday evening I took a group of 14 people out for a meal following a family event. The country house we went to was fairly expensive and again, I was shocked when no one made any contribution to the tip and left me to take care of it.

Personally, if I had been fed at someone else’s expense I would at least contribute to the tip so as not to appear a complete freeloader. Am I wrong to be peeved?

No, you’re not wrong.

The first one I wouldn’t expect anything, I would see it as taking the in-laws out so I would cover everything.

The latter I would like something but have learnt not to expect anything. The problem with large groups is that it needs someone to break rank and dip in, as soon as one does everyone else will. You can always drop a “does anyone have any change for a tip, i’ve only got a £20”. It’s worked for me in the past.

Ever seen that episode of Friends where Rachael’s dad takes Ross and Rachael out for dinner, and Ross contributes to the tip?

I would expect whoever took me out for dinner to be offended if all I did was chuck in a couple of quid to bump the tip up.

Some folk get upset about the smallest stuff…

If I’m paying, I tip. If anyone else wants to join in, they’re more than welcome but I don’t ask or suggest it.

If I’m not paying then unless someone suggests it or asks, I don’t. Seems slightly cheap to do so. I see tipping as part of the bill.

Always the opposite in my experience – whoever pays, pays the tip too. Most of the time it’s going on a card and added when you pay anyway, rather than left on the table or handed to a waiter.
I’d feel weird making such a small contribution, or taking it if I was paying.
If you all chip in, you all share the tip.

When I go out with the OH, if I buy the meal she picks up the tip, and vice versa. Strikes me as a fair system.

In your guests’ situation, I’d certainly contribute some, if not all, of the tip. In your situation, I think I’d be a bit surprised if no-one contributed, but then, if I could afford to buy a meal for a group of 14 people I wouldn’t be pulling my face too much about the relatively minor additional cost of a tip.

I see tipping as part of the bill.

‘s a point actually. In larger groups, “service charge” is usually part of the bill. In which case, it might just have not occurred to them.

Do people carry cash any more? I use my cards so much I rarely have cash for a tip.

In laws – normal for them not to chip in; you were treating them.

Mates – that’s wrong. Just add everything up, add a tip, divide by numbers there and thats what they all pay

Do people carry cash any more?

I do
Currently have around £140 in my wallet, which I guess is average for me
I have cash coming in every week so it’s easier just to keep it for spends

If someone was stumping for the bill, I’d offer something for the tip.

Mates – that’s wrong. Just add everything up, add a tip, divide by numbers there and thats what they all pay

This. Although there’s always someone who wants to work out who owes what to the nearest poppadum. If that’s the case, I let them tell me what I owe, but they can s0d off if they think I’m going to help them with the maths…

I never carry cash, alway card, but then again I always pay form most of the bill if not all.

However never go for a meal with MichaelCycle – hes just a wrong ‘un

Plum

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-qV9wVGb38[/video]

I don’t think I’ve ever been in the situation of paying for 14 – hopefully I never will be 😀
But I pick the tip up normally if I’m paying the bill

On the subject of divvying up the bill and people trying to work it out to the nearest penny either way …..
We just each put in what we think we owe, any shortfall or surplus is then equally divided up.

If you pay for the meal, you pay for the tip. Perhaps the other person might offer but you should expect to pay for the tip – it’s part of the cost of the meal. Your parents-in-law are being treated (did they pay for your wedding? 😉 ).

If the meal with friends was divided up, then you divide up the tip. If the bill is 480 quid between ten people, then whoever gets given the bill says right, it’s 480, plus ten per cent tip, which is 530(ish), which split ten ways if 53 quid each.

Is this tipping thing a Southern thing??

I don’t tip unless I think the service was above and beyond average. And yes, I’ve worked for minimum wage as a waiter who wanted tips and I’ve not forgotten it.

If I pay for a meal I pay for the tip too, I don’t expect anyone else to chip in. It’s nice if they do, but I certainly don’t expect it.

This is part of the issue with tip – expectation.

In-laws, I’d have expected to get the tip.

Group of 14, depends on circumstances,
– As above if you can treat 14 of them to dinner it’s probably a fair assumption that you can pick up the tip also.
– Doesn’t sound like it was a work thing (expenses) but I’d add the tip to the bill and get the lot
– If it was family and you’re not considerably richer than them, they should have put in the tip.

Personally if someone buys me dinner I get the tip, unless the service was awful it would be a generous tip too!

If I’m not paying I only ever chip in for the tip if I feel the payer is being tight fisted. Usually it’s with friends who’ve acknowledged great service and leave a cursory tip like it’s the thought that counts. Sure, 2 quid is better than nothing but if you’re paying a couple of hundred quid, be reasonable.

That said, other than work and my folks, people rarely pay for my meals so it’s not really needed that often. Did it in the US in February though when it was clear that the $1 tip for 5 people eating was going to just be taken as an insult.

As per Cougar, if I pay the bill the o/h leaves a tip and vice versa. That said, I’ve worked in the industry for over a decade now and many of my friends have at some point so when we go out we add the tip then just split the bill however many ways necessary.

It is annoying when groups want to split the bill so they each pay for what they had – Can’t possibly risk paying 5p towards a friend’s dinner! Never known people be as tight as they are here in North Wales.

As far as scenario 1 is concerned, you treated family, you pay the tip. Scenario 2, you pass the bill tray round the table and tell everyone to chuck some change in for the tip.

It is annoying when groups want to split the bill so they each pay for what they had – Can’t possibly risk paying 5p towards a friend’s dinner! Never known people be as tight as they are here in North Wales.

Big issue with our work meals is there’s often a £10 variation in meal costs on meals that only cost 5-15 quid each, with work meals we split them all and pay what we ate, then split the tip evenly if any is due. The “cheapskate” complaint only works when you’re not the one who continually only eats a £5 salad while everyone else always gets a £15 burger and chips with beer.

Dont tip. Job sorted.

I hate it when the service charge is included
you just know that half the time the waiting staff aren’t going to see a penny of it and the restaurant owners have just done it as a bonus for them

Aye it’s always the ones that have all the extras calling the others cheapskates when it’s actually them getting subsidised.

Coffeeking – I understand what you mean and I can accept it then. The majority of the time though it is a table of 2 where one person pays pence more than the other. Anything over 6 people we now do not split the bill – it is down to the party as to sorting how much everyone owes. Enforced decision as we would often end up with drinks left over that no-one had claimed upon splitting the bill. Also very time consuming, if I have someone taking 20 seperate payments for a table of 20, then they are effectively out of action for a big chunk of time and service standards can suffer as a result.

OP … not wrong to be peeved…. But speak up man !!

“I’ld like to get the bill. You guys can get the tip”

or

“I’ve done my bit. Would you guys be so kind as to tip our nice waitess, please”

or if you are being the Alpha Male by paying… be the alpha male

“Oi you lot, any chance??”

MTFU and pay the tip

“I’ve done my bit. Would you guys be so kind as to tip our nice waitess, please”

“I’ll get this – do you want to get the tip?”

Big issue with our work meals is there’s often a £10 variation in meal costs on meals that only cost 5-15 quid each,

There, I’d work out very roughly what I’d spent and round up. So, if I’d spent 8 quid I’d chuck a tenner in. Covers the tip, is fair, and doesn’t require a calculator.

If I had told people I was paying, then I definitely wouldn’t want them to put their hands in their pockets for the tip. If we’re sharing the bill, then share the tip. But I don’t understand expecting people to contribute to the tip when you’ve said you’re paying. Seems illogical to me.

If you’re paying then you’re paying. That’s the tip too. Wrong to be peeved, imho.
You can’t be all generous with the meal then get tight-fisted over the tip.

If the bill is split and then no-one throws in for the tip then I’d be calling them on it.

I would just say to my fellow diners: “Shall we all chip in for the tip?”

Problem sorted.

I think it’s old shcool for the payer to get the tip.

I’d always offer to do so if I was getting dinner bought.

in my experience, you can learn a lot about people that you thought you knew in the 5 minutes that passes once a bill for dinner arrives at a table.

I hate it when the service charge is included
you just know that half the time the waiting staff aren’t going to see a penny of it and the restaurant owners have just done it as a bonus for them

I always try to tip cash to attempt to avoid this.

Which makes it simpler to do the “Does anyone have a bit of change for a tip?” thing (although if I’m paying, I’d normally expect to pay the tip too).

I would expect to pay for the tip, but don’t think I would be bothered if people offered to contribute towards the tip.

Me and The Wife went out for a meal with friends once, and the service was shocking. Glasses were dirty, and my meal turned up 10 minutes after everyone elses, was all dried out and the sauce has a thick skin on it. I suspect it was left on the serving whatsit. The waiter was miserable when I asked where my food was.

Our friend was paying and asked us to contribute to the tip, he was annoyed when i said “I’m not paying a tip, the service was shite and my food was horrible”.

Everyone elses food was pretty crap too.

Apparently that friend now thinks I’m tight…*shrug*…I’m not the one who offered to take us out for dinner and took us to The Harvester. We paid the last time and took him to an expensive gastro pub.

Never did like him anyway.

trailmonkey – Member
in my experience, you can learn a lot about people that you thought you knew in the 5 minutes that passes once a bill for dinner arrives at a table.

This.