One of my colleagues (small family run business with five os us in total in the office) keeps switching off the work WIFI as it apparently makes her feel ‘wooly, tired and confused’. Now, most of the time this isnt a problem as we have a network and can use 4G for phones and such, but occasionally I need the WIFI to work on specific work projects. Today she asked me if I could re-schedule when I do these works so that it coincides with when we have a contractor visiting who has no ethernet connection on her computer, thus meaning the WIFI has to be on.

I’m trying to be as co-operative as possible and as open minded as can be, but is this just her being ‘particular’ or is it a real thing. Can she really feel these effects? If she thought the WIFI was off, would she even notice it being on?

We had a recent conflict in the office and the following day she brought in a large white crystal egg thing which was apparently to ‘soak up the negative energy’ and proudly placed it on the end of her desk and between the two bickering parties to ward away such things. She also has a collection of shiny stones and herbs in her desk…

Am I being intolerant, or is the WIFI turning me gaga?!

Can you say you’ve turned it off and then not do so to see if she notices?

Is this colleague an influential member of said family?

Make her a tin foil hat for Christmas.

Beat her at her own game – buy her this and claim it on exes.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Protection-Anti-Radiation-Simulated-Absorption/dp/B075L2DDH6

leave it on but stop broadcasting ssid (so she can’t tell obvs)

also suggest she watches better call saul

Move WiFi router to hidden spot
Plug in a disabled/non working route in its place and leave it turned off.
Hippy bullshit.

Can you say you’ve turned it off and then not do so to see if she notices?

… and similarly say that it’s on when it’s not.

Basically no she won’t be able to tell and it’s all nonsense.

Putting that egg between the two parties probably did work to stop the arguments, just not quite in the way that she may think.

Or run a 20ft ethernet cable across to your desk. Problem solved.

Must be why they don’t have WiFi for patients in York Hospital, were ill enough, don’t need that to add to the issues

Reminds me of an ex team leader who was so happy after a desk move at work, within the same room, as her Internet/pc in general was running faster afterwards. It was connected to the same network, via Ethernet, but it definitely worked better after the move 🙄

She was also always surprised by sunset, and the time thereof ‘oh look how dark/light (season dependant) it is at this time!!’

And was convinced that the phases of the moon affected people in the same way it has an effect the tides ‘well it must do, as we are 70% water!’

she brought in a large white crystal egg thing which was apparently to ‘soak up the negative energy’ and proudly placed it on the end of her desk

😆 brilliant. She nose her technology obvs.

(still laughing imagining this)

(and again) 😆

tell her you can feel it too and that’s it causing you to lightly smack her on both chops, whilst taunting ‘chop smack chop smack’ in time with the smacks.
a **** egg? are you kidding me

Hippy bullshit.

This

Vegan!

Offer to re-locate her desk?

Mostly these folk tend to suggest that they can feel the electromagnetic emissions from these devices. Ask her if she’s at all made unwell by the giant yellow, electromagnetic ball of continuous thermo-nuclear explosions she can see in the sky…

Show her this.

It will BLOW. HER. MIND.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3ge9M54l7E[/video]

Having given this careful thought and consideration, I think the best thing to do would be to tell her to **** off.

Idiot.

A few years ago I was lucky enough to go to Machu Pichu. Amazing place. Stunning.

In one part one of the big’ol stones, probably 10ft square and 4ft thick, that had been part of the walls had fallen off said wall and was lying on the ground. It was surrounded by people holding their hands over it because, apparently “you can really feel the power coming off it”.

They were a bit miffed when my other half, in her bestest West Yorkshire accent, commented quite loudly that it was “just a f**king stone”

it’s a funny one. I know people like that but I’ve never been able to find any results of tests that say it is measureable. There is nothing to stop you temporarily plugging in a second access point elsewhere if necessary

Or even better, buy a 5GHz router and say it is on a different frequency that doesn’t affect people

No it’s actual-factual-real stuff. I saw a documentary on it once and they had some woman on there who lived miles from anywhere in a completely tech free house because everything electronic made her incredibly ill very quickly, reducing her to a vomiting shivering wreck. I was amazed she coped with the full film crew in honesty.

Ask her to prove when its on..

We had a similar thing when we installed a mobile phone site in an office, after a week we got a call from the MD Saying his staff have gone off sick due to radiation.

We went back there to show him the fact that the RBS hadn’t been installed thus far, only the Antennas, and they weren’t live..

A few hasty phonecalls were made.. 🙄

🙂 at TTS

Buy her one of these and she’ll be happy.

Strike a deal with her. For ten days in a row either have the router on or off but don’t let her see it. Get her to record whether she feels ill or not.

If she correctly matches up her (imaginary) symptoms with the days the router is on then fair enough. If she doesn’t, then tell her to jog on.

I hate all that tie dye, unwashed hair, wifi fearing, sensitive, self absorbed, positive energy, earth vibes, vegan, smell of yeast bullshit.

I do sometimes wonder about all that data whizzing around in the air that we have these days. It’s pretty bonkers.
I just stream some music to my bluetooth headphones to relax and get away from it all.

Take the router apart and remove the Wi-Fi status LED.

The air is full of EM radiation, from things like radio broadcasts and mobile phone antennae to the background stuff that would be there in the first place. Visible light is EM radiation. If she was really sensitive to it then she’d be very ill indeed.

Tell her that she is welcome to work in the car park.

EDIT: beaten to it! 😀

When I search for WiFi on my phone for instance my phone displays several possible WiFi sources from which I choose the relevant one to connect too.

Is your WiFi connection the only one that can be found in the office, if not tell her so she can feel permanently ill.

Does she live in a detached house or ask her neighbours not to use WiFi at home.

Go to B&Q and buy:

1) 1 large roll of chicken wire netting
2) 1 large metal dustbin
3) Several large metal plant pots
4) a roll of garden wire
5) Some tin snips / shears

Now fashion a “faraday cage” suit out of those items

Force said co-worker to wear it at all times in the office, telling her repeatedly “it’s for your own good”

I’m wondering about the pixellation there. Co-worker corpses?

Is she in a cubicle?

If so then cover each wall of it in bacofoil. Tell her it is a Faraday cage and will protect her from teh radiationz.

Edit: damnit beaten to it

It was connected to the same network, via Ethernet, but it definitely worked better after the move

In theory if there was some weird routing going on that is feasible. Unlikely but not completely implausible.

As for OP: Put the router in a box and get her to tell you when it is turned on or not (ideally having a third party do the switching on and off).
If she gets it reliably right then there she might be abnormally sensitive. As far as I am aware though all properly properly conducted studies dont support the claims made by the alleged sufferers.

I suspect you are within the range of a wifi network pretty much all the time, other than out in the country.

When you switch off the wifi in your office are there no others in range?

This made me chuckle. Do all the above and report back.

EDIT: beaten to it!

Think there was a race of about 15 people trying to be first with that! 😆

broadcast a wifi hotspot on your phone for a laugh see if she notices! 😆

Does her feeling ill correlate to when she is stressed / bottle of vino night before / late to bed?

There’s over 5000 people in the EMF Warriors group on Facebook, shes not alone! https://www.facebook.com/groups/emfwarriors/

I can understand why people want to protect themselves from EMF though…

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maC5fqaYj9s[/video]