Closest shaves you've ever had?

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  • Closest shaves you've ever had?
  • Premier Icon funkrodent
    Subscriber

    Little incident yesterday got me athinking. Managed to break my chain powering at speed round a relatively gentle right-hander bit of singletrack. Sudden loss of balance led to me + bike ignoring the turn and heading, at speed, over the edge and over an 8 foot drop, down a very steep bank, towards a rocky stream. Fortunately there was a friendly tree in the vicinity and I was able to grab a low-hanging branch and exit my steed in timely fashion, thereby cruelly abandoning it to its fate, as I dangled in relative safety and my so-called mate pissed himself. So the question is, what’s the closest shave you’ve ever had and how did you manage to avoid disaster?

    Premier Icon njee20
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    I nearly bought a copy of MBR, but I didn’t have enough change. Bought a lottery ticket that day I’ll tell ya!

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
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    Over the bars – and over a ‘small’ cliff in Rivelin….I managed a full somersault, a bounce/graze and landed on feet, then used a winter climbing ‘braking’ technique on the wet grass to stop. Ended up about 40′ below where I started with nowt but a few grazes – and a need for a change of shorts…

    Premier Icon stevied
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    Had a close call on the Malverns a year or so back when, heading down a fast rocky descent. The run comes out on a grassy plateau but there are 3 raised steel access points (like man holes but about 1 foot high). I caught the step wrong on the exit, turned the front wheel square and got catapulted through the air towards one of the covers. Just about managed to get my hand out to push myself off the corner of the cover. Had I not done I would have face-planted onto the corner of the steel cover…It would have been very messy..

    asterix
    Member

    undertaking a flatbed truck at speed (20mph+), which began to turn right as I passed its left side and its tail swung out and missed my right cheek by millimetres – I can still see the 4 inch steel it was made of

    Premier Icon tomaso
    Subscriber

    Went flying on a set of timber steps in a chalky greasey Sussex woodland and landed heavily on my arse at the bottom just off the trail. When I looked behind me there were the rusty remains of a steel fence post sticking about 8 inches out of the ground about 2 foot from where I landed. I felt quite sick at the thought of what might have been 😯

    On the road twice I’ve come off in the rain on roundabouts and had cars/vans stop part over me so I’m looking up at their raidators, which is certainly both a close shave and a sobering thought.

    lemonysam
    Member

    Charging down a bridleway and through a steel gate I thought one of my partners was holding, they let go thinking I was through and it swung across in front of me. Without being conscious of what I was doing I managed to pull a sidehop/skid thing and nip round with my bar plug making a small “donk” as it clipped the gatepost.

    warton
    Member

    No. 2 all over, twice a month

    IGMC

    robowns
    Member

    Gotta be the first use of a box-fresh Wilkinson Sword Titanium Quattro, from about 2 years back.

    FuzzyWuzzy
    Member

    Ages ago (like late-90’s) I was still getting used to riding with SPDs and was cycling down a path that had a 10ft sheer drop to a river on one side. I needed to stop suddenly and for some reason unclipped the river-side foot and was therefore met by air rather than path when I went to put it down. I ended up falling sideways and landed square on my back in the river. It was pretty funny but I also realised I fell between two big rocks, I’m not convinced I’d still be able to walk if I’d been just a bit off to one side.

    juan
    Member

    I nearly bought a copy of MBR, but I didn’t have enough change. Bought a lottery ticket that day I’ll tell ya!

    LOL we you come down to challenge me on the ransvé, bring a new keyboard 😉

    alex222
    Member

    riding down some goat tracks le brevent in Chamonix when you could ride there. There was a steep section where parapenters were launcing from just above the second lift station. Switch back all the way down the face of this steep section. A mate and myself both crashed one after the other fell 20m or so from the midle of one switch back to the next. Landed in a tree. No cuts or bruises. Shaking like a leaf afterwards.

    ds3000
    Member

    On a school trip, age 13, nearing summit of unknown hill/mountain, saw appealing looking smooth rocked Shute/slide with blind bend at end, slid down on arse, rounded bend to be presented with 2/300 ft sheer drop, legs dangled over end, shit in pants, told off by teacher, end of story.

    Premier Icon D0NK
    Subscriber

    On my bike turning right onto a main road, line of cars on the main road waiting to turn into the street I was in. I started to cross, went behind the lead car and a passing car (who was going straight on) skidded passed fully locked up right infront of me. If i hadn’t heard him skidding I might not have slowed down and I’d have ended up in his path.

    Cranking round backs streets at full speed ripped round a blind 90degree corner to find an oncoming car, slammed on (as did driver) ended up with back wheel in the air and my face gently bouncing off his bonnet.

    Both when in my early impetuous teen and both times I gave the hyperventilating driver a funny look and rode off, get chills thinking about it now tho.

    My offroad riding is just an inept catastrophe curve destined for big crashes that somehow very rarely happen, never know how close I get to a serious maiming and when the crashes do happen they are rarely bad.

    cue enormous disfiguring crash

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    1) Fell off the cliff on the Lemmings descent in Spain. Small shrub was the only thing to grab and ended up doing an Indiana Jones hanging off the cliff holding said shrub. This then snapped and I dropped into a thorn bush that was growing out of a fault line in the face of the cliff. I sat in the bush looking down at a 70-odd foot drop to a mountain stream thinking how lucky I was.

    2) Riding in the Purbecks I was heading rapidly downhill jumping off the small rises in the short grassy covering. I was approaching a blind summit and thought I’d give it a go, but as I got closer I just got a feeling that I’d better check it out first. Thank God I did, it was the top of a very high cliff. It is this incident that still haunts me and even typing this out makes me panic.

    Trumper’s, Duke of York St, SW1.

    Not riding but walking last year back from Sprinkling Tarn-crossing a stream on wet slabs, feet went away & rucksac turned unto a sledge-slid down the stream but boot luckily caught on a rock–2 feet away from a 30ft drop from a waterfall edge-very sobering looking back at the photos i took of the drop.

    sbob
    Member

    Malvern Classics.
    I fell into a ditch face first as I was too drunk to walk.
    The weight of beer in my rucksuck meant I couldn’t get up.
    Fortunately my friends had foreseen such an incident and fitted me with flashing lights so I could (and was) easily found in case of misadventure.

    Premier Icon kayak23
    Subscriber

    Dual carriageway, 80mph on a motorbike overtaking a line of cars. Front car veered over leaving me no room. Clipped a roadworks sign with my right hand. Compound fracture to my right arm and I lost my little finger just above the knuckle.
    Thing that chills me though is I had a massive vertical dent in the right side of my petrol tank. Basically my front wheel had deflected nearly 90 degrees sideways, hit the tank, then straightened up again, all at 80mph and one handed.
    Had I have come off the bike, the natural direction to fall would have been under the line of cars.
    Dead.
    :-\

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    warton – Member
    No. 2 all over, twice a month

    all over?

    coffeeking
    Member

    I once crashed on the Malverns too, went over the bars at the bottom of a bombholey bit at speed. Front end washed out unexpectedly and I decked into the floor without braking, landing on my chin/chest, bending my neck back. Got lockjaw and pins and needles down my arms, whilst also being winded. Lay very still for a while. Everything calmed down and went more or less normal again. That was probably my closest call, that probably and the time I was crushed against the pavement/railings by a wagon that overtook me at about 35mph downhill – only the fortunately placed end of the railings and the fact that I was physically pushed up the kerb saved me. But I’d forgotten about both until you mentioned it so obviousyly didn’t make too much of a dent on my confidence lol

    bencooper
    Member

    Just before taking this picture – climbed the ladder, was just about to put my foot on the top platform, and realised it wasn’t there, it had rusted through.


    Crane 17 by Ben Cooper, on Flickr

    oli31
    Member

    Caught in a large Avalanche in the Cairngorms 5 years ago very lucky to get away with a dislocated shoulder and about the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me! still smiling and still climbing

    Only the other day I was on Edge common and reminded of nearly going over a 20ft cliff as a enthusiastic 7 year old on his new BMX that was pretty close too

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Subscriber

    i shouldn’t have read this thread as i was going to go out for a ride tomorrow 😯

    IvanDobski
    Member

    On the day Diana died I was riding my new dt125 between Windermere and Hawkshead in the pissing rain’t. Took the corner at the waters edge in Ambleside a bit quick and hit a patch of that liquid tarmac stuff they “repair” roads with.

    Lost control of the bike in a big big way, hit the dry stone wall on the other side of the road and bounced back into the road in front of the oncoming traffic. looked up just in time to see a green disco rapidly approaching – it couldn’t stop quite quick enough and I ended up under the engine but in front of the wheels and had to roll out before I could get up.

    Ended up unscathed but for a grazed knee so continued to work with quite a bit more care!

    Premier Icon Lifer
    Subscriber

    Stopped at a mini-roundabout, heavy traffic moving quickly right to left (straight on for them) heard the CHSK CHSK CHSK of ABS behind me. Turn around and there’s a car inches off my rear tyre. If it hadn’t run me over it would have pushed me into the path of something moving much faster.

    On a bigger roundabout I’m in the middle of the lane, MPV waiting at exit in front of me. Make eye contact with driver. When I’m about 5 metres away driver starts pulling out, all I could do was yell WARRGGGHHH as I try and steer to the right to avoid it, end up ‘kneeing’ the bonnet of the thankfully stationary car to keep my balance, and rode off in one fluid motion. Like a boss.

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Subscriber

    might as well chip in mine as well

    riding home work the other night in the dark, i start moving into the middle of the road to turn right into my street, for some reason i gave another look behind and stop dead even though i first thought it was clear. Very glad i did as a black civic type r comes flying around me on the wrong side of the road with no lights on in an area without many streetlights. If i’d have carried on turning into my road i’d have been in serious trouble as the asshat must have been doing nearly 50

    Premier Icon manmurray
    Subscriber

    ended up snowboarding on Baildon golf course a few Christmases back. Got a few runs in, stacked it at the bottom of another…fell backwards and gave the head a good thump on the (by now slightly patchy) snow. laying there slightly stunned, looked to my right and saw a large rock. bought a helmet after that.

    commuting not long after moving to London, 4 buses in a row at a bus stop, traffic not moving as a result. thought it’d be clever to hop onto the pavement (which was at least quite wide) and undertake. reached the lead bus as it starting to move, decided to rejoin the road a few meters further on. hit a patch of wet cobbles on a driveway just before I did, slipped/lost momentum + bus caught up and bounced me a few meters down the road. to this day I don’t know how I stayed upright. got away with just a knackered wheel, gives me the creeps 10 years on…still commute tho.

    Alpha1653
    Member

    Traversing a steep hill along a rocky piece of single track, you had to track stand, turn right 90 degrees downhill and then brakes off roll straight down a steep 10ft bank through a foot wide gap in a tree trunk before turning 90 degrees left back onto traversing the slope. (complicated description I know…). Basically, on the first turn, my front wheel got trapped in some rocks and I did an over the bars straight and fell head first down drop. I somehow failed to get my arms out to break the fall and my head fitted nicely in the gap in the tree trunks with shoulders absorbing most of the impact against the wood. There was potential for a double broken collar bone and head injuries but managed to get away with just some bruising and a cracked helmet. I don’t ride that track any more!

    user-removed
    Member

    Some terrifying stuff going on here 😯 Ben Cooper!

    I once made the mistake of cycling back into Inverness along the side of the loch on the busy side.

    A massive forestry lorry with a double trailer overtook me on a long straight with about a quarter mile visibility and nothing coming the other way.

    For whatever reason (I hadn’t held him up at all) he started pulling in once the first half of his truck had passed me – perhaps he forgot he had a trailer, loaded with giant tree-trunks, perhaps he was just a twunt.

    I saw the gap diminishing very quickly and was forced into pulling a sideways bunnyhop up a foot high kerb, whilst doing around 20 mph. The tyres of the trailer bounced, hard, off the kerb as I landed. I looked back and saw the horrified ‘O’ shapes mouths of the folk in the car behind. They made phone gestures as they crawled past, ashen faced.

    user-removed
    Member

    Oh, and just to be greedy; packed myself off to college to resit some ‘A’ levels. College was five miles away, so I fixed up my dad’s old bike and fitted BMX handlebars in a vain effort to make it look slightly less crap.

    First day of college went reasonably well. Got on the bike, cycled out of the car park between parked cars, saw a car approaching very quickly on the main road and braked. Unfortunately, the BMX handlebars were supported by the sort of clamp you find on a crap 3 speed commuter.

    The bars rotated forwards, took me with them and promptly jammed the front wheel, sending me OTB. The fast approaching car passed literally within millimeters of my head. I never went back to college as the humiliation was too much to bear.

    tarquin
    Member

    Was going up the coast for work, came round a long sweeping bend doing the speed limit to find a car overtaking a truck on the wrong side of the road coming the other way.

    Nowhere to go, hit them head on at almost 100kmh.

    Just got out and walked away, few small cuts on my arm and seatbelt bruising.

    M6TTF
    Member

    Thing that chills me though is I had a massive vertical dent in the right side of my petrol tank. Basically my front wheel had deflected nearly 90 degrees sideways, hit the tank, then straightened up again, all at 80mph and one handed.
    Had I have come off the bike, the natural direction to fall would have been under the line of cars.

    Did you snap the frame stops then?

    Was chasing an impreza on my zx6r – saw an opportunity to pass and did. Now behind merc. Car infront of merc decides it should be turning right at the last second, slams on the anchors. Merc locks up. I realise and grab a fist full of brake. Back wheel comes up and I ease off brake to avoid a complete OTB dismount. Pull an impressive stoppie as I carry in towards the merc. Can’t quite stop, just kiss the bumper gently with back wheel still aloft – comes down and I lay the bike down. Merc just drives off after car has turned. The scooby stops, comments that the undertray looked ace and helps me pick up the bike. Ride home and put it away! Crash bungs had lightest of scuffs

    A Reanult 5 with 6 yoofs in went past me on It’s roof about 4 feet from me once. Me & other witnessess reckoned they were doing about 40-50mph at the time.

    Premier Icon Wally
    Subscriber

    Marrying a lesbian.

    A mate of mine years ago had a connecting train from JFK to New York….missed it by seconds…got the next one 1/2 hour later..the first train would have meant he made his 830 meeting in the twin towers..all his work colleagues died that morning…

    His life changed massively after this incident…. 😯

    Premier Icon Andy R
    Subscriber

    Thinking about it, now that I’m reminded by this thread, the luckiest that I’ve probably been was years ago – I was on a trials bike, riding up the mountain road from Ramsey and just before the start of the Mountain Mile I saw a truck coming the other way, so downhill.
    I also saw something on my side of the road, bouncing about four feet off the ground but the way it is at times like this I didn’t realise it was the detached outside rear wheel, until it passed me almost close enough to touch. At the time I just thought “Hmm – lucky”….

    _tom_
    Member

    Turned a corner on a trail in Whistler to find a bear a bit too close for comfort. It just looked at me then carried on, so it wasn’t really too bad, but I was bricking myself 😆

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    My old Honda Accord brakes failed at 90 in the fast lane of the M25. This must have been 15 years ago, but I can still see the Merc in front of me (not far in front, it was the M25 after all!), brake lights coming on. I hit the brakes and there was a pop as my foot just drove through the braking point. At that point the Merc’s lights went off and he accelerated just enough for me not to pile into the back of him.
    Calmly explained to my mate that we had to stop for a mo…

    Plenty of close shaves on the commute, recent one with a blue lorry who shoved me into the hedgerow was almost very nasty. Thread started on here, of course.

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