clever jokes

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  • Premier Icon Stoner
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    4 = TCPIP , I think its to do with internet traffic protocols.

    Premier Icon Stoner
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    21: the reducing progression tends to 1 (its limit)

    RealMan
    Member

    4 AFAIK is just a dumb computing joke, not much to get.

    5 is a speed/position uncertainty principle joke.

    21 is a summation joke (the sum of 1/(2^n) tends to 1 as n tends to inf)

    23 is just about philosophy.

    bencooper
    Member

    Ha, my GF sent me the list and asked about 5, 13 and 22 πŸ˜‰

    5: Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle
    18: You need to know their philosophies, really
    21: a mathematical limit is a thing
    23: another one where it helps to know what Sartre thought

    headfirst
    Member

    Well I’m glad you’ve all cleared those up in such an erudite, succinct and informative manner 😐

    codybrennan
    Member

    4)is to do with the way that packets traverse an IP network. When a connection is being set up between a sender and receiver, they initially do a ‘handshaking’ exercise that essentially is just them sending the same bit of info backwards and forwards- 3 times. Each time they do it, they set a certain bit to a certain value. Its to help set the connection up.

    (I’ve simplified this a lot, hope you don’t mind.)

    warton
    Member

    TCP Transmission control protocol. used for the interwebz and stuff. a computer sends a data packet to another computer, the receiving computer sends a message back, confirming what has been sent.

    headfirst
    Member

    Thats more like it mr brennan! Nicely put. 10/10, gold star.

    llama
    Member

    4 – TCP connections (It you are reading this then you used one) are initiated using a ‘3 way handshake’ where the client and server synchronize / acknowledge each other

    codybrennan
    Member

    Why thank you HF.

    If you ever want to delve into it in detail:

    http://www.inetdaemon.com/tutorials/internet/tcp/3-way_handshake.shtml

    bencooper
    Member

    Sorry, I was trying to give hints so you could say “aha!” πŸ˜‰

    5: Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle says you can’t know the speed and position of a particle at the same time – so if you tell an electron how fast it’s going, it doesn’t know where it is.

    18: See 5, plus Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem basically says you can’t mathematically prove everything from inside this universe, Chomsky is a linguist.

    21. A mathematical limit is something that you can get closer and closer to but never reach – like Zeno’s frog.

    23: Sartre was an existentialist – basically everything is related to the human experience, so the lack of milk is different to the lack of cream.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    22 ?

    I no understand πŸ™

    headfirst
    Member

    That’s better ben, you get the “most improved” star today.

    Premier Icon richmtb
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    5)Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.

    Basically you cannot know with precision the speed and position of a particle simultaneously.

    So when the electron finds out its speed it’s now lost because it can’t know its position at the same time

    bencooper
    Member

    22: Mandelbrot was one of the originators of fractals – a mathematical thing where every part contains the whole, you can keep zooming in and in for ever.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    Thanks Ben ,that just made my head hurt (and I had already googled him ) πŸ™‚

    16stonepig
    Member

    I could tell you a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if you’d get it.

    Premier Icon richmtb
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    22)Mandelbrot did lots of work on fractals.

    If you magnify a fractal it looks like the unmagnified image, this holds true no matter how far you zoom in.

    So when you zoom in on the B in Benoit B Mandelbrot it looks like Benoit B Mandelbrot

    bencooper
    Member

    I could tell you a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if you’d get it.

    πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon richmtb
    Subscriber

    Argon walks in to a bar

    No one reacts

    headfirst
    Member

    Ben and rich: now I know that, no.22 becomes amusing.

    Ben you really are doing very well now, carry on like this and you’ll get a mention in assembly!

    Premier Icon GrahamS
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    I think 25 is missing the punchline, which is something like “They had eggs”.

    Mandlebrot in pictures

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAzYWM7Yf4U[/video]

    Premier Icon nedrapier
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    the Mandelbrot one reminds me of a favourite Dilbert cartoon.

    Wally is telling Dilbert how he’s embezzling funds into a phantom project called The TTP Project. “What does TTP stand for?” asks Dilbert. “That’s the best bit” says Wally “It stands for The TTP Project.”

    Premier Icon BigJohn
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    That’ll be 80p.

    Premier Icon richmtb
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    I went in to the chemist and asked if they sold any Adenosine triphosphate. They said yes its 80p

    bencooper
    Member

    My GF also sent me this one:

    What do you get if you cross a lion and a tiger?

    ??N mod(lion) mod(tiger) cos?

    (can’t get the overbar to work properly – ignore the o)

    Premier Icon Cougar
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    The Satre thing is because he wrote about choice being an illusion, or something of that ilk. By the cafe not having any cream, he’s no longer able to make a free choice not to have it, but is forced not to instead. The offer of no milk returns that freedom of choice. Something like that, anyway.

    What’s perhaps more interesting is that the Mandlebrot thing is actually kinda true. He didn’t have a middle name, and added the B himself; there’s a fairly likelyhood that this was his reasoning.

    I think 25 is missing the punchline, which is something like “They had eggs”.

    Yeah. It’s also slightly annoying in that he should come back with thirteen.

    Could be worse though. If she’d said “while you’re there, get eggs” he’d never have got home again.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
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    I think 25 is missing the punchline, which is something like “They had eggs”.

    It works as it stands.

    They had eggs and therefore according to the syntax of the original instruction he bought 12 loaves.

    Premier Icon thepurist
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    nedrapier – isn’t that just a rip off of Gnu? (Gnu’s Not Unix).

    theflatboy
    Member

    13 in the OP genuinely may be my new favourite joke!

    edit – though 24 is a close second…

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Oh, and Chomsky was involved with “ideal” linguistics, something along the lines of ideal language being different from what people actually say. So the joke there suggests that the joke they’re discussing would actually be funny in an ideal state, but human error in the telling ruins it.

    I think.

    Heisenberg is obviously famous for his uncertainty principle. Godel I had to look up:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%B6del%27s_incompleteness_theorems

    The first incompleteness theorem states that no consistent system of axioms whose theorems can be listed by an “effective procedure” (e.g., a computer program, but it could be any sort of algorithm) is capable of proving all truths about the relations of the natural numbers (arithmetic). For any such system, there will always be statements about the natural numbers that are true, but that are unprovable within the system.

    Premier Icon Cougar
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    There are some good ones there. I like a good geeky joke. Like:

    It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    (Feel free to steal that one)

    warton
    Member

    I think 25 is missing the punchline, which is something like “They had eggs”.

    It works as it is, but could be more clearly defined πŸ˜‰

    bencooper
    Member

    Yeah, I did physics not philosophy πŸ˜‰

    And on that subject:

    A racehorse owner was having a lot of trouble with his best horse, who was suddenly not winning anything, so he called in a nutritionist, an animal behaviorist and a physicist.

    The nutritionist studied the grass and feed the horse was getting, and made some suggestions. The behaviorist watched the horse, and made some suggestions to make the horse more relaxed and comfortable.

    The physicist pulled out a pad of paper and said “right, first we’ll assume the horse is spherical…”

    theflatboy
    Member

    I like 25 as worded, too much spelling out ruins such jokes.

    Premier Icon Cougar
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    Over-eggs it?

    Premier Icon Cougar
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    Why did the French chef kill himself?

    He lost the l’huile d’olive.

    Premier Icon Cougar
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    This neighbourhood’s getting worse. Only last week, two crows were
    arrested for attempted murder.

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