Clean jokes please
Completely not what the OP is asking for but I’ve been having some fun trawling this site:Posted 5 years agopingu66Member
An old man goes to the doctor for some tests. When he gets the results, the doctor tells him that he has bad news.
The old man says, “Just give it to me straight, doc.”
The doctor says, “Well, you have cancer, and you have Alzheimer’s.”
The old man says, “I guess it could be worse. I could have cancer.”Posted 5 years ago
What I love about that link is the guy is trying to weed out bad jokes that are submitted by kids but amongst the stuff he’s rejecting are some genuinely good jokes
Knock knock.Posted 5 years ago
Doctor said “HEY YOU FAT GUY! GET OUT OF MY MEDICATION
BAG AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
A man goes to the doctors feeling a little ill. The
doctor checks him over and says, “Sorry, I have some
bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus.
It’s called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood
yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live.
There’s no known cure so just go home and enjoy your
final precious moments on earth.”
So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news.
Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her
that evening as he’s never been there with her before.
They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he
gets four corners and wins £35. Then, with the same
card, he gets a line and wins £320. Then he gets the
full house and wins £1000. The National Grid comes
up and he wins that too getting £380,000.
The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, “Son,
I’ve been here 20 years and I’ve never seen anyone
win four corners, a line, the full house and the
national grid on the same card.
You must be the luckiest man on Earth!”
“Lucky?” he screamed. “Lucky? I’ll have you know I’ve
got Yellow 24.”
“Oh Hell,” says the bingo caller. “You’ve won thePosted 5 years ago
raffle as well.
The topic ‘Clean jokes please’ is closed to new replies.