OK it’s not often that I am stuck for what to say, but in this instance I need some help.

I’ve been asked to do a reading, entirely of my own choice, for my friends’ wedding. It’s a civil ceremony, so no religious references can be allowed (them’s the rules). I’ve been looking around and most of the references that come back from a Google search are saccharine coated tripe.

I need two things, the most obvious being suggestions/recommendations for something a bit deeper than ‘Love is like a pot of honey’ and a bit more original than ‘How do I love thee, let me count the ways’

The second is what people think of the poem ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling – do you think it would work as a wedding reading?

Do some John Cooper Clarke

Personally don’t think If would work tbh.

We had this:

The Life That I Have

The life that I have is all that I have,
And the life that I have is yours.

The love that I have of the life that I have,
Is yours and yours and yours.

The sleep I shall have, a rest I shall have,
Yet death will be but a pause.

For the peace of my years in the long green grass,
Will be yours and yours and yours.

Or what about some Shakespear;

Sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediment. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds.
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is not shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Loves not time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never write nor no man ever loved.

mrs flash I had both of those at my wedding spooky

How about some Kevin “Bloody” Wilson?

Do you sha9 on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Can I feel yer t1ts?
or will you show ’em to me?

Nothing says I love you like that does.

I like the sonnet – that could be the one

Play air guitar for them?

We had Flowers by Wendy Cope (which I chose because it sums me up) – google it.

And my wife chose a reading from Winnie the Pooh. Which might sound sentimental but it’s spot on.

We didn’t actually have the sonnet, but you have v good taste. I’ve not actually met many people who’ve even heard of the first poem! We weren’t sure about it given the connections it has, but just love it so that won out.

the theotherjonv, “Us Two”?

We went a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ at our wedding. As well as the obligatory Sonnet 116 I had a mate read out the lyrics to “The Wonder Of You”.

Not cos I’m a huge fan of Elvis or owt. Elvis is funny :FACT:

I defy anyone to read the below and not get a mental image of Vegas Elvis:

When no-one else can understand me
When everything I do is wrong
You give me hope and consolation
You give me strength to carry on

And youre always there to lend a hand
In everything I do
Thats the wonder
The wonder of you

And when you smile the world is brighter
You touch my hand and Im a king
Your kiss to me is worth a fortune
Your love for me is everything

Ill guess Ill never know the reason why
You love me like you do
Thats the wonder
The wonder of you

I Wanna Be Yours – John Cooper Clarke

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust,
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust,
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot,
You call the shots,
I wanna be yours.

I wanna be your raincoat
For those frequent rainy days,
I wanna be your dreamboat
When you want to sail away,
Let me be your teddy bear
Take me with you anywhere,
I don’t care,
I wanna be yours.

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out,
I wanna be the electric heater
You’ll get cold without,
I wanna be your setting lotion
Hold your hair in deep devotion,
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
That’s how deep is my devotion.

Or you could tell the registrar you’re doing this and then actually recite I married a monster from outer space?

A poem about Life’s Journey

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon — do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean

CV Kavafis 1911

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Eskimo Love Song

You are my <husband/wife>
My feet shall run because of you
My feet shall dance because of you
My heart shall beat because of you
My eyes see because of you
My mind thinks because of you
And I shall love because of you.

Us Two, that’s the one!

Friends had this, which was excellent. Can you place it?

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

The Cure.

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess thats why they say

Chorus:
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
Playing on the radio
Hear the dj say loves a game of easy come and
Easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that youd be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Chorus

Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains

Solo

I know I could have saved a love that night
If Id known what to say
Instead of makin love
We both made our separate ways

But now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Another vote for Sonnet 116 – I didn’t realise how common it was (or at least seems to be…) when we chose it though – thought we’d picked something unusual 🙂

Brilliant Martyn – I love it.

Snowsalve – that John Cooper Clark poem might actually work.

Oh, and my bride walked down the aisle (well, entered the room) to some bloke on the joanna bashing out ‘Perfect Day’. I’d arranged for him to play it *months* beforehand thinking it was an obscure and cool Lou Reed track, only to find on the wedding day it had ben covered by the Beeb by all those ‘stars’, was a charity record, had been played to saturation point by the meeja, and was currently number one in the charts and had been for weeks. People were sick of ‘Perfect Day’ and thought we were bandwagon-jumpers.

The first, the last, my everything
And the answer to all my dreams
You’re my sun, my moon, my guiding star
My kind of wonderful, that’s what you are
I know there’s only, only one like you
There’s no way they could have made two
You’re all I’m living for
Your love I’ll keep for evermore
You’re the first, your the last, my everything

And with you I’ve found so many things
A love so new only you could bring
Can’t you see it’s you
You make me feel this way
You’re like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day
I see so many ways that I
Can love you till the day I die
You’re my reality, yet I’m lost in a dream
You’re the first, the last, my everything

I know there’s only, only one like you
There’s no way they could have made two
You’re my reality
But I’m lost in a dream
You’re the first, you’re the last, my everything

or, in semi seriousness:

I’m the keeper of your heart
I keep the flame when we’re apart
I’m the lover in your arms
Or a baby soft and warm
I’m a hero in your eyes
I’m a comfort when you cry
When you hurt me I’m your fool
But I’m nothing without you

I’m a beacon in the night
To show the way until it’s light
I’m a stumbler in the dark
When I can’t say what’s in my heart
I’m a poet just the same
Every time I speak your name
I’m just a shadow when I’m blue
But I’m nothing without you

I’m nothing without you
It doesn’t matter what I do
If I win or if I lose
Sweetheart I’m nothing without you