Staying in a lovely cottage for a week, every fixture and fitting is lovely bar the dreaded cheap toilet seat. It slipped sideways earlier and I risked a serious case of trapped arse cheek! 😯

A plumber i heard of fitted one in a care home, older person using it, it slipped sideways snapped the side out of the toilet pan,and got jammed betwen wall and broken toilet, required fire brigade and ambulance to help extricate the older person, who also suffered serious laserations to her buttock.

I once complained on Twitter that the buyer at B&Q responsible for cheap toilet seats should be fed to a leopard.

B&Q saw the tweet and sent me a tenner. 😀

its not so much the seat as opposed to the fittings

I hate it when that happens OP.

Why does it not surprise me that some on here cant even sit on a toilet seat properly. 😀

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet-related_injuries_and_deaths

Good toilet reading.

I would challenge a ballerina to sit on this particular seat safely, however it did make me chuckle when the cheapest looking thing ever turns out to be a soft closing affair 😀

Freind of mine had a wooden toilet seat at home , said seat was cracked through at the front , the crack opened up slightly when sat down for number two’s .
Apparently , one morning , he had to resist the fight or flight instinct and calmly sit back down to release his tackle bag 😯

Soft close toilet seat, lovely no more dropped toilet seats in the middle of the night.

Was the toilet seat a shitty design? 😆

you stroll into the bathroom. Seat is up. So you tap the seat so that it starts closing. Does anyone else feel nervous sitting down on a soft closing seat before it’s finished landing? I cant help but worry about trapping my plums between the seat and the pan

Surely its, start the wee, tap the seat, watch it start to lower. Stop the stream to let the front of the seat pass, restart through the ‘hole’ with the aim of finishing before the seat reaches ‘touchdown’?

Oh, just me then!

You can’t sit straight down, oh no, you have to stand and watch and enjoy the finale without a clonk, then you can plonk on down 😉

Sorry is that too ocd?

The one at work cracked once making a potentially lethal arse biter. Fortunately an inexhaustible supply of gaffer tape meant it was soon made safe. I seem to recall it took us around 18 months to go and buy another.

Soft close toilet seat, lovely no more dropped toilet seats in the middle of the night.

Until you stay over at someone else’s for the night and forget that they don’t have a soft close toilet seat. Cue almighty crash.