So I popped in to the bikemonger for some new grips whilst on holiday, spent ages chatting so the girlfriend came in for a browse and decided she needed a new bike. A quick bike fit and a bit of spannering later she was the proud owner of a 2017 Marin Gestalt 1 & and a free t-shirt,shes chuffed to bits. A great experience in a proper bike shop. Thanks Charlie!

Did she buy it herself?

He must be one hell of a salesman.

and a freehis profit margin was sufficient to chuck in a t-shirt

Did you demand ask for a discount?

Blimey, the “wooo” is strong in that Charlie

Charles is complete gent (well that’s what it sounded like to me)

o I popped in to the bikemonger for some new grips

Lock-on or standard?

Or he held you hostage until your girlfriend bought a bike as a ransom payment?

think he likes a mushroom, does Charlie. just sayin.

bought my Jones+ from him. seems like a good bloke.

Top bloke from me too chatty and engaging, would buy from him again.

-:¦:-•:*'”*:•.-:¦:-•* FABULOUS * -:¦:- * HIGHLY RECOMMEND -:¦:-•:*'”*:•.-:¦:-

she was the proud owner of a 2017 Marin Gestalt 1 & and a free t-shirt

Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

He also has great hair 🙂

One time i rang and emailed to ask about a Salsa jersey i wanted that i saw online.

I got a reply saying “They’re really hard to get hold of, but we’re at Salsa HQ on Thursday so i can order it and bring home next week for you”.

I ordered, it arrived and it’s perfect.

Top top service.

I see this bike shop is in Swanage. So why doesn’t he also sell climbing kit? Some of Britain’s best sea cliff routes are just down the road.

Perhaps he doesn’t know anything about climbing kit.

And why doesn’t he sell boats? The sea is just past the cliffs.

And why doesn’t he sell cars? There is a road outside.

Charlie the cliff boat bike monger. 😆

😆

Bike shop owner sells bike.

I…..I….just don’t know what to believe anymore….

😉

Thanks for giving me the first laugh this week!

And drugs, don’t forget drugs. In fact I bet the bike frame is stuffed full of them, he’s just using your girlfriend as a mule to smuggle them out of Swanage. He brings them in in small boats then scales the cliffs before concealing them in his merchandise. Why do you think he’s so in to 29ers, bigger aren’t they, more room for drugs, bloody obvious when you think about it.

You lot all going on about what a top bloke he is and he’s nothing but a common criminal, thinks he’s the new Howard Marks and you lot are all taken in, shameful.

Charlie the Charliemonger.

Charlie the Charliemonger.

Exactly I’m glad I’m not the only one who can see what’s going on.

What about hookers to go with that charlie?

Absolutely binners, before cheeezzy24 knows what has hit him he’ll be a drug addled wasted shell of a man lying in a pool of his own cold vomit in an unheated flat whose front door will be swinging on it hinges as a light covering of snow blows across the blood and excrement stained carpet as his once beautiful girlfriend is pimped out yet again to another disgustingly fat sweaty dribbling punter who likes to slap her around a bit.

And all because he started with the free t shirt

I see this bike shop is in Swanage. So why doesn’t he also sell climbing kit? Some of Britain’s best sea cliff routes are just down the road.

Diversification is where it’s at, he should know this. He should start selling swans, everyone loves swans.

He should start selling swans, everyone loves swans.

He’s got swans, its the swans what guard his stash, break a man’s arm can a swan, and his swans are trained to go for the throat.

Diversification is where it’s at, he should know this

He certainly should. And if he wants his plan to come off to run Swanage then he needs to get on with it before the ice cream shops get in on the act and start selling bikes, climbing gear, cars and swans.

You need real balls to start messing with the ice cream boys, all Italian you know, might just wake up with your favourite swans head in bed with you.

Charlie the Charliemonger

I’m disappointed 🙁 When I was young Charlie had such good advice about not playing with matches or talking to strangers

It’s still good advice he gives but more along the line of “Don’t **** with me or the swans will tear your balls of and peck out your eyes”

He doesn’t even have to mention them breaking your arm because everyone knows that already.

0-to-completenonsense in three hours. Fab.

completenonsense

You might think advice that could save your life and those that are dear to you nonsense but when those swans herd you to the cliff edge and you think **** it now I know why he wouldnt sell me any climbing gear and you can’t even get your final request of a 99 with a flake you’ll rue the day you ignored us!

He does sell swan spray,like bear spray ,but much stronger.

One of Charlie’s more quoteable quotes is ‘Don’t be a dick’. Sadly you lot have patently ignored this advice… 😆

He does sell swan spray,like bear spray ,but much stronger.

You might think it’s swan repellant but when when you spray it you’ll find out it’s swan pheromones and you’re going to be facing a killer swan that’s horny as hell.

I buy my chains from the bloke but what he doesn’t know is I bought a spare I carry at all times, decapitate a swan with a single swing that will, I ve tested it on chickens, upset the kids on their urban farm visit but once I explained to them just how dangerous a world it is out there and they should always be tooled up they saw it differently.

Charlie the SwanPheromonger, top bloke, aye right. We’re watching you.