Cars that go ‘Tiss’

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  • Cars that go ‘Tiss’
  • Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    What type of cheesey-nobbed dick for brians wants to make their car go Tiss?? And what the fecj does it do when it does go tiss?

    And why do they feel the need to make it do this in the middle of nowhere, whilst overtaking a lone cyclist makeing them jump out of their skin? Nobbheads.

    I infer from the evidmence of the vast exhaust pipe which could handle the whole toxic output of the factory the pile of shite that they’re driving was produced in that they are a ‘modder’ and therefopre by definition some kind of utter **** whi still lives with his mum. Next time one of them drives past my house making the fffing pictures on the wall vibrate I’m going to trak them down and fil the gasping hole in their rear ensd full of expanding foam. I may also fill the exhaust poipe.

    Bunch of macdonalds carpark bothering wancnuts.

    kinda666
    Member

    Turbo dump valve?

    Premier Icon jam bo
    Subscriber

    It’ll be the dump valve on the turbo

    Good rant that. Poor spelling is certainly worth a bonus point or two.

    rich-6
    Member

    Its to relieve turbos from backpressure, prolonging the life of it, They are rather chavvy i must admit but are functional

    solamanda
    Member

    I think all turbo cars will have a pressure relief valve of some form, even my diesel volvo 940 goes ’tiss’ if abused.

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    You can get bolt on kits, that will make the noise every time you change gear. Don’t even need a turbo.

    Well Wikked, innit

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    functional my arse !

    most seem to do it at tickover

    OP is correct – tossrags

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    Why is it that only cars with ‘feel the power’ or somesuch embazoned across the body make this noise?

    And what purpose does it serve other than make the driver appear to observers as a total tit, but obviously make them feel more superior to everyone outside the car?

    kinda666
    Member

    Init not an it!

    kinda666
    Member

    I think the dump valve is very functional actually!

    Strangelove
    Member

    itz da dump valve innit gud 4 40bhp coz i is well ard n can handle di power an it inpress the birdz down at macca D’s

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    Dump valves may have been be very necessary if you were Burns or McRea, but if you drive a 106 down to the Tesco Express on a wet Monday night to pick up Chardonnay and her mates…they ain’t

    Premier Icon mboy
    Subscriber

    The thing that makes the “tiss” is called a Dump Valve. Generally turbocharged cars need a dump valve, this explains it a bit better than I could.

    Most dump valves are of the silent type, so nobody would know one is fitted. In many high performance applications though, they aren’t silent as they are running at higher pressures etc. The desire for those that make the “tiss” sound on road cars is amongst the boy racer types wanting to make their cars sound like they’re full on racing cars basically.

    Only they don’t, they sound like kids in crap cars with baked bean tin exhausts with a “tiss” sound from their engine every time they change gear.

    Each to their own though, no need to get quite so upset about them spending their hard earnt money on their hobby, that is after all what we are doing on our mountain bikes. And many people think Mountain Biking is sad childs play, much as you and I view turning a 1.2 litre shopping trollet hatchback into a worthless pile of noisy junk! If we were all the same wouldn’t life be boring!

    rs
    Member

    We all have dump valves! mine usually goes pffft pffft pfft splash!

    IGMC

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    I think the dump valve is very functional actually!

    yeh:

    When you hear one on an urban road in heavy traffic they’re an early warning system for impending “racing wheels” on drum brakes dustbin exhaust **** akshun

    stompy
    Member

    I can’t quite undertand why those chavvy little boy racer funboys don’t use a little of the brains that their family’ ‘gene puddle’ gave the them to realise that for all the money they spent on their blinged/chavved up Nova/Corsa/Fiesta that they could have spent the money on a decent car??!!

    …… or a bike ๐Ÿ˜€

    Nobs

    Harmitans
    Member

    Burns and McRae did not use dump valves as they had proper Anti-Lag.

    Nearly all road-going turbocharged petrol engines will use a dump valve of some sort.

    It’s only the Tesco car park numpty brigade that feel the need for a noisy dump valve. The funny thing is the car normally drives worse when they are fitted, compared to the standard re-circ valve.

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    mboy – thanks for the reasoned argument (I recognise the need to spend loads of money on a hobby)

    My main problem is with those that do it unnecessarily when overtaking me – and I’m not talking once or twice either. I guess the other prejudice comes from the fact that they rip round the (tight) corner outside my house at god knows what speed until all hours of the night with (apparently) no regard for the almost sub-sonic noise they’re making.

    God I must be getting old – I’d be having a smile to myself if these comments were made by a walker about mountain bikers.

    All the same……BAH!

    Strangelove
    Member

    You can get fake dump valves if you want the sound but dont have a turbo
    null

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    Holy poop! ยฃ137 to look like a nob!

    I’ll not shy away from purple bar-ends again!

    kinda666
    Member

    Was thinking more about one of these turbo’d beasts!

    stompy
    Member

    Oh baby…… thats a ‘proper’ motor ๐Ÿ˜†

    Harmitans
    Member

    Kinda666 – That’s not a chav-mobile. That’s a classic car!

    kinda666
    Member

    Yeah its beautiful aint it!
    Winning lottery numbers on Saturday pleeeeeeaaaassseeee!

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    Frankly, if the car looked like that I might forgive them, but they mainly look like this:

    GNARGNAR
    Member

    I wasnt aware there was such a thing as a “fake dump valve” which is just a speaker. If your going to be that stupid why not get a fake v8 sound.

    Most of the “cars that go tisssss” actually do have up graded dump valves. You’ll generally hear them on subaru’s evos etc ie cars that actually do have some power. Whilst Im sure some dont add any power, bigger noisier dump valves are often fitted to cars with up graded turbos.

    supra turbo

    800 bhp

    kinda666
    Member

    Bet it looked like this BOAS

    stompy
    Member

    Ha, it’s even ‘got’ a shit cherished plate…..

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    That’ll never get into Maccy D’s car park – haven’t you seen the speed bumps??

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Am I so wrong, to really want a car like that, just because I know it will really piss the STW types off, if I pulled into a trail centre car park with one? Of course, I’d have to have blue lights underneath, and some really heavy duty DnB blasting out from a ridiculously loud stereo.

    Don’t get too worried, dear STWers; I can’t drive…

    …yet. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    Where would you put your bike?

    Engine bay full of fake dump valvery, boot full of boom boxes, seats full of t w a t, bike rack not designed to fit the bed-cum-ironing-board spoiler.

    kinda666
    Member

    I haven’t got a problem with anyone modifying any motor, but atleast go to the effort of putting a half decent engine in!

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    Aye, I s’pose so. At least it’s relatively creative.

    I’ve calmed down enough to go to bed now – us old farts need our sleep.

    Premier Icon Daffy
    Subscriber

    just because I know it will really piss the STW types off

    Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest so long as you were an amiable chap.

    On the other hand; if you turned out to be a tosser I’d be more than a little tempted to ride right over it and hope my big chainring (which I haven’t removed from any of my bikes in spite of STW fashion) would hit the windscreen/roof or spoiler.

    Premier Icon mboy
    Subscriber

    BlobOnAStick – Member

    mboy – thanks for the reasoned argument (I recognise the need to spend loads of money on a hobby)

    My main problem is with those that do it unnecessarily when overtaking me – and I’m not talking once or twice either. I guess the other prejudice comes from the fact that they rip round the (tight) corner outside my house at god knows what speed until all hours of the night with (apparently) no regard for the almost sub-sonic noise they’re making.

    God I must be getting old – I’d be having a smile to myself if these comments were made by a walker about mountain bikers.

    All the same……BAH!

    The very nature of a dump valve means that every time the throttle is backed off, it will make this noise. If I were you, I’d definitely be happier that they are backing off the throttle on occasion than the noise the dump valve makes ๐Ÿ˜‰

    They’ll grow out of it soon enough, when they realise they’ll never get a girlfriend older than 14 unless they ditch their P.O.S. car and get a proper one. It’s called evolution!

    As a side note, much as I like cars and always have done, I lost pretty much all my Mountain biking mates (yes, I’m one of the rare few that has been riding since his teens seemingly!) to becoming boy racers once they turned 17. OK, I got a car too, but didn’t spend every penny needlessly chavving it up as I realised that in order to own a much nicer car one day, I was better off keeping the money in my pocket (or spending it on bikes more likely). Within a couple of years they’d given up the boy racer thing though, and (more worryingly) found Class A drugs instead! Then when too many bad trips had happened, they just rediscovered alcoholism, with a great vengeance. Cue the impending big Three Oh, and one or 2 of them have actually got back into mountain biking funnily enough!

    It’s a funny old world. Just think of every boy racer in his shitty little car as one less person clogging up your favourite trails, that’s the way to put a smile on your face ๐Ÿ˜€

    rich-6
    Member

    I think ive seen that corsa at York Raceway guy drives like a tool, It had a different bumper and exhaust then, If its the same one it has a Calibra turbo engine in and goes like f***

    I lol’d when i saw it, but didnt want to go up against it

    Royston
    Member

    Great rant! i too have been absolutely scared shitless by the ’tiss’ whilst cycling along and i’m convinced they do it deliberately drawing up close behind then driving off pissing themselves as you clearly wobble, bastards. but it got me thinking is there anything we do to our bikes that has eqivilent chav status?

    Premier Icon mboy
    Subscriber

    RudeBoy – Member

    Am I so wrong, to really want a car like that, just because I know it will really piss the STW types off, if I pulled into a trail centre car park with one? Of course, I’d have to have blue lights underneath, and some really heavy duty DnB blasting out from a ridiculously loud stereo.

    Don’t get too worried, dear STWers; I can’t drive…

    …yet. [:twisted:]

    Not seen (or should that be heard?) a Chav yet with enough taste to be playing some DnB! Usually it’s some shitty Hardcore, Nu Rave Mashups, or even worse some total toss like Basshunter! God, at least when I was getting into cars as a kid (about 12 years ago) most of the car modifiers had more taste in music. They fit large stereos to their cars these days seemingly only to be able to boast about the DB level on a test tone! Christ, I fitted a CD changer and uprated speakers to my first couple of cars cos I wanted to hear my decent music at decent volumes when I was out on the open road (always turned down in residential areas mind). It’s like the people on here that boast about how many miles they rode this week/month/year, but couldn’t actually remember the last time they actually just got on their bike for fun!

    RudeBoy
    Member

    Where would you put your bike?

    Hmm, hadn’t thought of that!

    Rig up some sort of rack, off the spoiler, maybe??

    Daffy; I am pretty amiable, I think!

    Cars; I love the way someone in a particular type or make has to be a ‘certain type’, according to some people. BMW drivers, Ferrari/Porsche drivers, souped up Corsa Drivers, etc…

    Nowt wrong with a bit of self-expression, I reckon.

    Custom niche Ti bike, anyone? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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