Always fish and chips after a ride with my mates as a kid/teenager, hooked over the bar end (oh yeah, judge my age!). Never ended in tears, but made for interesting steering.
I also used to like building balsa wood model planes, so quite a few sheets of balsa wood strapped to the top tube. So many other things I’ve just asked for some tape in the shop to put it on the top tube too, can’t remember what though.
Bolt croppers (the longest Toolstation had in stock after I locked myself out of the house by leaving keys in the garage).
I’ve used the kids trailer to transport bikes to the ex’s flat for rides.
BITD used what I seem to remember were called Roubaix wheel holders (my dad used to use them to transport his “good” wheels to TT’s) to take wheels to the bike shop.
Er, huge fireworks. Can be a challenge.
Basically, there is always a way, but I’ve not