Cancer : How's it affected your life ?

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  • Cancer : How's it affected your life ?
  • curto80

    My best friend (who some will remember from here as 29erKeith) died in April from leukaemia.

    The 18th months during which he was ill and in hospital was the worst period of my life. I hated going into the hospital every night with no idea what I would find when I got there. Watching him suffer tore me apart but taught me a lot about the fragility of life and, on his part, what courage really is

    He left a wife and a 3yr old lad so now my focus is trying to look out for them. And on an extreme duathlon I am doing next year, but have started training for now, to remember him and raise money for Bloodwise. Having a goal like that, something that would have meant something to him, is therapy for me.

    No-one should have to bury their Dad/husband/brother/best mate at 35yr olds because of cancer.

    Premier Icon iainc

    Great thread, very important to talk about it, involve others, see if you can help people catch things early. Me and a group of 7 others, 2 of whom have also had Prostate Cancer organised an awareness ride back in May. Got good press, raised £5K for PCUK, was in local paper, conversation with local MP etc. If it helps one person catch the bastard early then it’s worthwhile :

    Sanny’s even going to write it up, on here, sometime soon 🙂

    Premier Icon ourmaninthenorth

    Bloody hell curto80 – I had completely missed that. What a shame – I remember that he fought it very hard.

    I went to my best friend’s funeral on my 18th birthday. He’d battled a brain/spine tumour for 14 months. I remember how kind his family were to me on the day – and how undeserving I felt: he hadn’t made it to 18.

    But cancer doesn’t worry me too much – 5 years ago I was told by a doctor that I’m at risk of developing a rare disease that could just stop me in my tracks one day. It has meant the end of exercise, which has been a hard blow, but I do tend to focus on progressing with life.

    None of us knows what will kill us, or when that might be. So, like Saul Bellow said: seize the day!

    Premier Icon jamj1974

    Compared to what some of you guys have been through… Not as much as it have done.

    Both my maternal grandparents had cancer, my grandfather lived for 10 years post-diagnosis and died from something else entirely. My grandmother was diagnosed with Leukaemia and died from it 11 months later. I would not want to experience the same last months of her life she did. My mum had stage 3 ovarian cancer and had lived for 8 years post-diagnosis with no further complications. Fingers crossed.


    8 years ago at this time of year ,I lost first my dad to cancer and 8 weeks later lost my mom as well to the horror that is cancer
    Hate this time of year as brings back alot of memories


    In 2008 our daughter who was 2.5 years old was diagnosed with cancer. First may bank holiday she was fine by the next she was having chemo it was that quick. She was diagnosed with neuroblastoma and she fought bravely. In fact all the kids on the ward were quite resilient and showed incredible courage. Just as we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel she relapsed and it became clear we were going to lose her. In September,2009 she passed away. After that I hear about other kids being diagnosed with the same cancer and I know of several parents who we met during treatment who have lost their children too.
    I now do challenges to raise money for neuroblastoma research and this year I ran a half marathon every month this year. In fact last weekend we held our own half marathon event and 30 of us gathered to run 13.1 miles round the streets of Durham. It helps me to have this to focus on. I hate cancer and wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy.
    My nan died of cancer but she didn’t know that she had it. We found out after the postmortem. There is a mother at the school gates who is recovering from breast cancer and is doing well so far.

    Sister in Law is currently putting up a good fight against lymphoma. She has a large family to support her but last few months have been tough going for everyone. I think the scariest thing is that she has it so young and when she beats this there will always be that cloud over her that it will likely return at some point. There’s also the unknown impacts down the line e.g. fertility issues which may cause more heartache. It really is shit.

    My wife works in palliative care and sees the worse cases everyday. This has made her constantly fear the worst for her sister but I think it is important to remember that more and more people are beating cancer. I hope in my lifetime treatment hits the point where it just isn’t viewed as a killer disease anymore.


    My dad died of ca stomach when he was 47 and I was 14. I’m 47 next month and my son is 15. There are some black thoughts now and then.

    Premier Icon metalheart

    My mum died July 16th this year. She had lymphoma. Her decline was mercifully swift in the end. She was reconciled to her end. She was 86. I think about her every single day. More than once

    My dad died 12 days later. He had lung cancer but mercifully he passed peacefully in his sleep (I think he just gave up, his wife and co-dependent of almost 60 years was gone, what really was left for him). He was 82,

    I’m glad I didn’t have to watch him die of lung cancer like his father. I was a young arrogant man, never really appreciated him for what he was until too late. He was admitted to hospital with terminal lung cancer and given 6 weeks to live. He was a fiercely independent man who hated being a burden on anybody. He lasted 6 months. The last time I saw him he had just been given another blood transfusion and he had plainly had enough. He talked about wanting to go for a walk by the harbour and how he wanted to see Peggy (his pre-deceased wife, my gran) again. It broke my heart and made me feel inadequate for not having been a better grand child.

    I’ll not hide the fact that tears are streaming down my face as I type this.


    Premier Icon jeffl

    My experience with cancer is nowhere near as poignant as some of the above. Having said that when I was a teenager my nan and aunt (on my dad’s side) both passed away from cancer. Stomach and lung respectively. More recently my wife’s mother passed away from cancer four years ago just before Christmas. That was royally shit, seeing her degenerate over a period of six months ash she fought it. In the end I think she’d just had enough. Still remember seeing her for the last time, very sad. Does make me wonder, if the big C ever came for me and the chance of beating it was slim, I’d probably say stuff it and try and enjoy my last few months on earth rather than going through chemotherapy.


    I know a little bit about cancer.

    Don’t be scared. The best piece of advice I received from someone was a guy called Julian Materna; the one-armed MTBer from on here. He told me that it was okay to be scared, but that what we do when we’re scared is what defines us; something I’ve repeated to my daughters (aged 5 and 2.5) every day since they were born.

    Currently the longest living cardiac and skeletal AS survivor in history. And if I’m honest, I wouldn’t be the man I am today without cancer, so in a strange way I owe it.

    Currently looking for corporate sponsors to help fund a solo row around the UK for childhood cancers and CF, if anyone wants to help me kick it in the bollocks…?


    Dad died of it, friends 3 yo died of it, best friend died of it.
    But that Bullheart guy, now that’s a story *high five* hope your Seren is good, mines great ! May you live long and prosper.
    One day we will work it out , but there’s a long way to go.

    My father died of lung cancer when I was 2. Its wierd but I never imagined myself reaching 42 as I am now. Never thought I’d be a father myself. Dont know why really. I like the op seems to be am a bit terrified of dying and leaving my son without a father. When he was 2 I found it especially tough. Now he’s six I’m not really sure what my next target is 18 I suppose. Dont really know what my point is or why I feel like I do so I’ll just leave it here.

    Premier Icon senor j

    Family members,friend’s family members .etc etc.
    Currently, a really good friend from work whose wife is quite ill.

    Premier Icon Trekster

    My first introduction to cancer was 40yrs or so ago. We were in our early 20s. Speaking to my next door neighbour one evening and he offered me a load of tools, “clearing out your shed Stanley?” I asked. “yes” he replied “I’ve only got 6wks to live, got cancer” At that time we didn’t know what it was, and he was gone within 6wks.
    His son is mow our neighbour living in my wife’s parents old house, both of who succumbed to cancer.
    I have lost a number of good friends, workmates and relatives to cancer. Some are in remission, testicular, bowel etc.

    It’s a year ago this week since my dad passed away after suffering for many years with COPD, heart, lung, arthritis and other complications due to meds. He had cared for my mum for 10yrs after she suffered a post op stroke induced dementia. Mum was hospitalised for 9mths after an op to repair a burst varicous vien(caused by an over tight bandage) According to many on the various wards she was on they were surprised she lived after that initial 9mth period never mind 10yrs(that was 3yrs ago in Jan). Dad was a broken man when mum did and went downhill fast…..
    Watching fit, healthy, active people suffer any terminal illness is painfull.


    Two good friends have suffered from it, both now thankfully over it. Although one is now whining about his man-flu, which is probably more irritating 🙂 The other one is Spanish and made of sterner stuff, and I’m meeting up with him for a run on Saturday.

    The flip side was losing my mum to pancreatic cancer in March, thankfully the end was fairly quick. But still: #fuckcancer.

    Premier Icon Alpha1653

    Up until 2 years ago, cancer had only touched my life when my grandfather died when I was too young to understand what was happening. Then my uncle visited us in west wales in 2014 and came down with a mystery illness. He had just received his GB age group triathlon team suit, was fit as a fiddle and days later couldn’t get out of bed. After a while he was diagnosed with cancer and now it’s so far spread that it’s terminal. He’s fighting with incredible stoicism but he’s in constant pain.

    Another uncle died of it only a few weeks ago and my cousins are trying to deal with it as best they can.

    And now I’ve just got off the phone to my dad in hospital who is due in theatre tomorrow morning to have major surgery to remove a tumour in his stomach. Even if it is successful, it’s a month in hospital plus 6-12 months recovery. To be honest, rationale or not, I’m absolutely shitting myself that this evening’s conversation could be the last one we have…

    Right now, me getting cancer does not concern me; I’m just absolutely furious that it has the audacity to hurt those I hold dear and rob my 3 month old son of loving family members before he has the chance to know who they are.

    **** you cancer, if you were a person I’d rip your goddamn head off before you hurt anyone else.


    My younger brother was diagnosed with bowel cancer at 29.
    He battled through almost 7 years of treatment before metastatic Liver disease killed him in 2013, aged 36.

    It was incredibly difficult watching this huge rugby playing sports freak wither away to an unrecognisable shell of his former self.

    We’ve all struggled with his loss on so many levels, and having to tell my 6 year old daughter that the uncle she idolised had gone crushed me.



    I’m one year post op and treatment and to be honest Im really struggling at the moment. Every time I get a bit run down or my glands are fighting something off, I convince myself it’s back and think of nothing else.

    I think I’d be OK if it was just me but I’m on 35 with two boys aged 4 and 18months

    It also seems to be every where you look at the minute with adverts, on radio on here… I’m exhausted from the worry….

    Premier Icon legalalien

    My father is 67 and has stage 4 renal cancer (basically spread from kidney through to lungs and also his bones).

    He’s gone from a strong, fit 13.5 stone down to 9 stone of skin and bones in a year.

    Chemotherapy is affecting him badly. The side effects are harsh and he can barely speak a full sentence without being out of breath. Walking 20ft does the same thing. He’s really struggling.

    I live in the US and left him to fly home last week not knowing if I’ll see him again before he dies.

    As I was pulling away, I wound down the car window to tell him I loved him again. At that moment, a huge flock of birds flew by and circled around. It was an amazing sight. I called to him and pointed. My last image of him was him looking up in wonder at this and marveling at nature. I think about it all the time and it’s really dusty here a lot.

    #fuckcancer +1

    Premier Icon smogmonster

    Wow, well both paternal Grandparents died of lung cancer, though were heavy smokers. Younger brother died of Leukaemia, youngest brother just had the all clear following testicular cancer, wife just had all clear from skin cancer.


    Wow, there are some truly heartbreaking stories in this thread.

    And if I’m honest, I wouldn’t be the man I am today without cancer, so in a strange way I owe it.

    Since my earlier post, I’ve been thinking about things quite a lot but this has resonated with me a lot.

    As shit as it was, my life would be very different if my mum hadn’t passed away and made my sister and I move back down south. I’m sure I wouldn’t have met my other half and I wouldn’t have had my gorgeous little boy.

    It would appear that my family are unlucky in the cancer stakes. Mums had a large part of her bowel removed and an uncle and two cousins I’m aged with died this year. Dad’s parents both copped to it too.

    Premier Icon jamj1974

    I hate cancer.

    Thinking of all of you who have been affected. As always on these threads, I feel humbled when I hear of your experiences and the courage you have had.

    Take care.



    My sister in law died of cancer in July. Actually the cancer did not kill her but the treatment did as she had a massive bleed after lung surgery. She had been battling breast cancer for the last 5 years.

    The interesting thing is they live in London and had private medical insurance so she went to world class doctors on Harly Street. Their current view, well at least around Easter this year was that there have been so many advances that if they could keep her alive for another 2 to 3 years then there is a very very good chance there would be new drugs available that would not cure her but would stop the cancer in it tracks. A bit like the way HIV is treated.

    The real crapper was 4 weeks after Amanda died, her older sister fell off a horse and died as well. Her poor father lost his wife Dec 2015 and then 2 daughters in 2016!! The only saving grace is that they had 6 kids.

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