Bullying / change in behaviour

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  • This topic has 11 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 6 days ago by  hooli.
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  • Bullying / change in behaviour
  • Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    Anyone else been through this?

    Up until the start of the term our 9yo was report to be polite, friendly, respectful and getting on well with kids & teachers.  Now he comes home in tears or not wanting to go to school with tales of hitting or name calling by other kids, being written on the Naughty board by his teacher, being kept back during breaks, being told off and he says he’s not able to concentrate on his work because of teasing or under table kicking etc.

    There are other kids in his class having recognised issues, and the teacher seems to send 4-5 kids out of the room a day and holds the whole class back at times for rowdy behaviour/noise.

    When we heard of him not listening and talk over the teacher and poor work standard from his first parents / teachers meeting we thought the teacher was wrong, because it was so out of character. I was ready to blame him foe the continuous reports of sadness.

    I’m nervous my son is feeling this way daily, and although we’ve asked for a meeting with the teacher and are obviously dealing with the issues at home, I’m worried about his mental state.

    What to do?

    timbur
    Member

    From my experience of having a child in a similar situation I’d be looking at the teacher and seeing if they’re coping.

    We home ed now.

    Good luck.

    tim

    fossy
    Member

    Dont get me started on Primary Schopls and bullying. They don’t deal with it.  Only in Secondary did they sort the issues. My son hated primary because of one kid (his father and whole family were as bad unfortunately).

    Premier Icon weeksy
    Subscriber

    It’s a tough one, my lad has a few issues at times and we’ve had tears before bedtime on a fair few occasions.. Sometimes i think kids are horrible little B*****s and sometimes he’s just over-sensitive.

    It’s tricky as you can’t just wade in and wallop kids.. (or indeed parents) but you can’t sit and do nothing either.

    It goes up and down, good and bad….

    I don’t have anything useful other than, you’re not on your own.

    Premier Icon martinhutch
    Subscriber

    Does sound like the teacher is struggling to keep control of the class, but be a little wary of the reliability of reports home from your lad.

    We had a year like this (at about this age) where disruptive elements in the class were constantly kicking off, coupled with a teacher who wasn’t good at discipline. Luckily the school got a grip on it and split up/moved the offenders.

    aphex_2k
    Member

    I guess it’s a phase. Hormones. Growing up. My 7 year old told us he got sent to the library the other day but wouldn’t say why “I can’t remember”. So we asked the teachers and they said he was fine, and didn’t get sent anywhere. Turns out he was lying but we can’t figure out why. I guess there’s an age when this behaviour starts and I’m sure it will pass. Often it’s “yeah, I’ve cleaned my teeth”  (obvs toothbrush is dry and toothpaste not left open). Or “yeah I’ve eaten my lunch”  yet lunch box unopened and he didn’t have time to eat ‘cos he was playing with his mates.

    Talk to the school, try and see the teacher AND someone more senior. Tell them your concerns. Be careful with what your child says and perceives, as I tell mrs anagallis, kids lie including mine. Ours will often say he had a bad day and got told off when he got a small warning.

    Get any bullying dealt with though.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    Talk to the school. Don’t wait for a parents evening. Phone them, say you have concerns about changes in his behaviour and you want to discuss how you can work together to resolve any issues.

    Get their side of the story. Don’t walk in their assuming what you currently believe to be the case is what’s happening.

    (sending 5-6 kids a day out of the classroom is pretty extreme, for example, is that what’s really happening?)

    Premier Icon duckman
    Subscriber

    As a teacher…You can move it up the food chain, that will get the issue the attention it deserves.

    johndoh
    Member

    As its a new year does that mean its a new teacher too? Perhaps they are struggling with controlling the class as a whole. Have you spoken to any other parents to see if they are having similar issues?

    Premier Icon Yak
    Subscriber

    As above, speak to the school now. My son got hit and threatened by another boy. I spoke to the head and the other boy was dealt with immediately. My son was initially reluctant for anyone to know as the threats were of much worse violence if he told. I had to make it very clear he could trust the school to sort it. The school did sort it very well. The other boy has gone now and I hope he gets his issues resolved.

    hooli
    Member

    Definitely go and see the school, if you feel the need take some notes and email a summary to the teacher/head. I’d also check the schools website for their policy documents on bullying and dealing with poor behaviour.

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