Apart from the hilarity about the groom – what are the bits you have to include?

– thank the bride’s parents
– toast the couple

what else??

Sexually assault at least one bridesmaid I believe.

Compliment the bridesmaids

During the speech Tom?

There’s no law that says any of it is.

Anytime really 🙂

Very little in the rules for the best man. Compliment the brides maids, say nice things about the bride and read any messages from people who couldn’t make it. The rest is your own time to talk about the groom

I didn’t compliment the bridesmaids. It had been done by the groom and father if the bride and I wasn’t going to do unnecessary repetition.

Feel free to use props to break up the speech to. The bro in law printed me a life-sized cut-out of the groom n his stag-do outfit, went down a storm!

And don’t worry about making it too long.

During the vows to really mix it up eh Tom… 😀

compliment the Bride!!!!!!!!!!!!

My best man did a version of Perfect Day by Lou Reed, he got up some of my mates from uni that I’d lost touch with, got my Dad up on guitar, my (none musical!) Mum on Bongo’s and also hired a 30 piece choir! Twas ace although I did cry rather a lot!

keep it short.

how many best-man speeches have you sat through? – how many times have you thought ‘i wish he’d blathered even more meaningless rubbish – y’know, i’d have happily listened to him going on and on and on for another 15 or 20 mins…’

don’t forget to say something nice about the groom, he’s one of your best mates.

now, if anyone can tell me what to do with my groom’s speech…

Grooms speech is a piece of piss, I thanked everyone a few times, gave out some presents, thanked everyone some more, made some sexually provocative remarks about my wife (no really :oops:) thanked everyone again then my mum told me to sit down 🙂 Totally unscripted and everything.

And don’t worry about making it too long.

By this I meant dont’ make it too long. Between 5 n 10 mins is a good target.

I did 1/3 of my groom’s speech in Greek 😯

here’s one for you all……

I’ve been asked to be best man for my father-in-law’s upcoming wedding…. I don’t even get on with him!

He’s got zero sense of humour, a right chip on the shoulder, and don’t get me started on what he’s like after a few whiskeys!

Oh did I mention that he walked out on my wife, her mum, and her 6 week old sister when my wife was 5, cos he’s girlfriend was preggers!

so I’m starting a thread, what tyres for peddling like **** to get away fro the whole situation?

G

I’m sure i was asked to be BM because i could be relied upon not to offend all the relatives and parents. just tell some funny but not overly embarrassing stories about the bride and groom, be as polite as possible, ‘great couple’ ‘made for each other’ etc then sit down. the main thing is be prepared but don’t worry as everyone will be pi$$ed and want you to do well. its not work – they are on your side, just don’t bore them or embarrass them.

Stand Up, Smile, Say how proud you are to be X’s best man, Say what a wonderful day it has been, complement bride, bridesmaids, short (amusing) anecdote about X from childhood, short (embarrasing) anecdote from stag night, raise the toast and sit down leaving them wanting more – simples.

Collude with the parents to get some photos of the couple as children.

Short and sincere. If you aren’t naturally funny, don’t try to be. NJA sums it up well. And five minutes is a maximum.

now, if anyone can tell me what to do with my groom’s speech…

Open it up with the following;
“My ex-girlfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming…”

@ gordonb – you’ve been asked to be best-man which means that he’s offered the role to you. Do you have any experience of declining offers?

Grooms speech is a piece of piss

+1

Open with “My wife and I…” which will go down really well and you’ll probably need a pause, then say something about your wife letting you speak, then thank everyone (Parents of the bride, your parents, the guests) maybe with a few quips, depends on the family. Finally say something nice about your wife, then something that makes them inclined to believe your best man might make stories up and you are done.

I was somewhat surprised when (insert groom name) told me (insert bride name) had accepted his proposal of marraiage as he had his cock in my mouth at the time

All the good BM speeches I’ve seen (including the one I made, obviously) contained at least one moment of heartfelt sentiment. Ideally someone should cry.

CaptainFlashheart – Member

Open it up with the following;
“My ex-girlfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming…”

nickjb – Member

Open (correct yourself) with “My wife and I…”

that’ll do nicely for an opener – ta! 🙂

NJA, quite right, sounds a plan!

Patriotpro, I did accept with all the grace I could muster, and only express my concerns in places and to people that he’ll never find out about it!

gordonb – would love to hear your speech based on what you have told us about the groom so far 😯 😉

good luck

OP – have you tried googling for some ideas? There’s some decent stuff knocking around.

that’ll do nicely for an opener – ta!

Of course, do take care if there are more than one ex-gf in attendance and the father of the groom chooses to interject before the correction with, “Which one?” just above a stage whisper. 😳

I can confirm Tom’s best mans speach was superb but not as good as mine 😉 ……we had the same best man – If I’m freaking you out Tom it’s Ross!

Confirming that the bride and bridesmaids are looking raveshing wouldn’t go amiss but that’s the grooms job really, it won’t do you any harm when trying to get a fumble later on after too many Mablibu and cokes though.

Bear in mind the other guests, Auntie Margaret with her silver spoon in her mouth, might not find your stories of the grooms sodamistic sexual behaviour as funny as ‘the lads’

This is the template I’ve used for my Groom’s speech in 2.5 weeks time:

In order to make sure you cover off all the things you need to with your speech, why not try writing it based on the following structure.

1Thank your new father-in-law for his kind words and for helping you (if he did) put on such a wonderful wedding.

2Thank the bride’s wider family for welcoming you into their home and lives. Even if you don’t get along particularly well you should try and find a couple of positives to say about them and the fantastic upbringing they gave your wife. This only needs to be short, but try to include as many people as possible if they deserve it.

3Turn to your own family and thank them. Praise the way they brought you up, but also try and add in a humorous anecdote about an amusing event during your childhood. Give special mention to both your and your wife’s mothers; tell them how amazing they are. You do not want to go down the soppy sentimental route, but your aim is to try and make all the mothers in the room cry.

4Move on to thank the bridesmaids for all their work, and don’t forget to praise them about how beautiful they look. Remember, you are giving this speech on behalf of your wife as well so don’t forget to use ‘WE’ instead of ‘I’. If you have any presents for the bridesmaids now is the time to give them out. A toast is normally called for as well.

5Do the same for your best man and give him the present you bought him. You may want to put in a little belittling jibe about him before he unleashes his torrent of abuse on you.

6Finish off the thank yous by naming everyone who has helped in the planning and execution of the wedding. They will appreciate being recognised.

7This is the serious bit… it is time to talk openly and honestly about your new wife and how much you love her. Tell the story of how you first met, or perhaps something else from your relationship; just make sure you give this section some real thought. Talk from the heart and try to avoid sounding like a Valentine’s Day card, if you pull it off well the whole place will be in tears and everyone will be in the palm of your hand.

8Handover to your best man to finish off the set, but make sure you do it with a little joke about how he is known to confuse fact with fantasy, or that he has a renowned imagination for the obscene – its naff, but it will get a laugh.

You should aim to fit all of the above inside 10 minutes. If you can, by the end you will have made your guests laugh, cry and cheer. Then sit back down, your grooms speech is done – now the party can start.

From: http://www.groomlist.co.uk/magazine/groom-s-speech-duties/grooms-speech-basics

No **** way! Hi Ross!

Sodamistic behaviour, you and Kris-I won’t hear of it!

Aye up Tom

No animals were harmed in the making of said video 🙂

We (there were two of us) turned the best man’s speech into a power point slide show, showing everyone the groom was a crazy d*ck before he met the bride, and how she turned him into the dweeb his now is married to her. It went down a storm.
most of the guests never knew he was even from Blackpool let alone had been living as a hill billy recluse for years before he met her. Such is marriage.
Photo shop is a use full tool. A picture saves a thousand words. Less speaking required, only need a few choice punchlines. You will get tonnes of free drinks if you get it right.