In the most tasteful way possible;
Save it up or clean the pipes?

Mods; this is intended as a biomacological thread rather than smutty.

What can possibly go wrong? 😆

I always clean the pipes regularly. Improves the taste.

Given that for baby making you should be attempting manufacture every couple of days, additional flushing through of the equipment is not really necessary.

Don’t think it’ll make a big difference, assuming you don’t have issues of that sort there’ll be plenty of competitors on the start line either way. What I wasn’t prepared for though is once the guns gone off and the race is underway – for the wife to then adopt a shoulder stand position with her legs up against the wall, and stay like that for 20 mins reading a book. Turning it in effect into a downhill swimming race.

practice practice practice 😉

When you say tasteful…

Good excuse for as often as possible. A mate persuaded his missus that a certain (his preference) position would also improve the chances… 😆

Me and Mrs are having fertility treatment and were advised to clear the pipes 2 or 3 days before going at it (for natural and clinical babymaking).

Apparently its to allow the swimmers to reach the optimum age for getting jiggy wid it.

Also spread out the business time so you have a couple of days between each time you make the 2 backed monster to allow the swimmers to grow again.

The most important advice we were given – don’t get hung up on it and stressed – it does you no good. Have fun and see what happens.

Not the way I understand it IHN. Apparently there’s only a few days per month when she can eggify. I think it’s something to do with the moon and sea state.

for the wife to then adopt a shoulder stand position with her legs up against the wall, and stay like that for 20 mins reading a book

Yes she does this. I’m just glad it happens after the deed.

I always clean the pipes regularly. Improves the taste.

Better crema?

Drac – Moderator

I always clean the pipes regularly. Improves the taste.

Better crema?

I think a little bit of sick just came out…

Have some personal experience of this recently but nothing I’d like to divulge on stw. If the OP would like some advice (just going on what the urologist told me during some fertility work-ups), then he’s welcome to drop me a mail.

mail inbound darcy. thanks.

Apparently there’s only a few days per month when she can eggify

This is true, but, assuming you know when this is, you can have a preliminary test of all the equipment a day or so before (this will serve to flush the pipes), followed by two or three full-scale manufacturing runs every couple of days after that.

I think a little bit of sick just came out…

See your urologist.

What was that program that revealed ladies are like aliens inside? Your little fellas land in a little holding pen and then when your good lady reaches climax, this little doobery dips in and out of the holding pen dragging the good boys on their way.

The gist of the documentary was that you’re more likely to conceive if your missus has a good time. So this approach that so many women adopt making it very clinical and business-like actually lessens the chances of having a baby.

Go in, about 10 days after the painters have been…

When Mrs Gti and I were at this stage in our life she was also doing a very stressful and tiring job. Nothing was happening and we were already in the first stages of getting outside help. Then she gave up the job and stayed at home relaxing and within a couple of cycles of the moon we got the result we wanted. I believe this was more than just coincidence.

IIRC the Billing’s wrote a booklet for aiding this. It helps with determining the best time for the woman, in theory.

Edit : Apparently the egg is better waxing rather than waning, so to speak. I found it quite an interesting theory.

The gist of the documentary was that you’re more likely to conceive if your missus has a good time.

Forgive me if I ignore this morsel 😀
Second place is first loser.

Brilliant

Having done this recently all I can say is that you will be a husk of a man mid month and will, after a while, not think all your Christmases have come at once. No pun intended. Regular out of cycle pipe cleaning is recommended, live reasonably cleanly within reason and stay relaxed. Trust me, once it arrives the halcyon mid month bonk fest will feel like a long time ago.

If we’re in disclosure mode – we also had some difficulty in conceiving that lead to starting fertility checks to rule out any underlying issues. Cut a long story short, my swimmer report came back describing them as ‘lacklustre’

WTF 😯 That knocks a bloke back, I can tell you. I’d imagined a Weissmuller vs Thorp vs Phelps vs Spitz (stop it!) slug out, instead it was a gentle downstream amble. In the sperm equivalent of those flowery hats that old women wear. How could I make my fellers more lustrous? Would painting the factories with glittery make up have any effect? Was there anything I could eat that would improve their chances?

The most important advice we were given – don’t get hung up on it and stressed – it does you no good.

Wise words.
If nothing seems to be happening and you have a few disappointments, sods law will dictate that you will witness the worst (in your mind )type of parenting all around.

Good Luck

Lacklustre? Luxury! My swimmers are a lost tribe stored in a freezer in a heavily guarded location somewhere in London.

Unless there’s been an unfortunate power cut.

Oh lackluster swimmers. A devastating blow to a mans confidence. Did you explain to them that they were being launched from something that resembled Duncan Goodhews head and thus they should really put some fukin effort in to not let the side down ? Just can get good Semen these days eh ?

So for babymaking, gentlemen should come first?
After all those years of holding back it does seem unfair.

What’s this holding back you speak of ?

Just can get good Semen these days eh ?

Good Seamen

ICMC 🙂

Yeah, I was told that my swimmers were more Eric The Eel than Michael Phelps. It is a bit of a proverbial kick in the knackers.

Then again, maybe that would gee ’em up a bit.

When we decided to start baby making there was no chance for me to clean the pipes “manually”. The Mrs was on heat. Sigh

I’m currently being threatened with talk of ice packs for cooling(!) usually accompanied with a smile which I’m not entirely sure that I trust. Really need to get this done.

When my wife and I were seeking fertility treatment we were told that day 10 of the cycle was the optimum time in the fertility cycle. Day 1 being first day of her period. Also, sperm can hang around for up to 4 days so x amount of times a day not really necessary. Storing up 3 days prior to ejaculation was also advised and going in around day nine you will stand a good chance of succeeding providing everything is working correctly for you both.

Really need to get this done.

Sounds like you’re under pressure… but don’t heap pressure on the little guys in the name of speed conception.

We tried for ages, but got there in the end. 😉

We just went with every 2 or 3 days throughout the time that seemed ‘about right’.

I’ve no idea about the quality of my output. If it was anything like me on a bike, they all wheezed up the tricky bits, got lost every now and again but got to where they needed to be at about the right time.

First time around I was subjected to the clinical method of aligning myself with the moon, eating copious amounts of Broccoli and make sure I was home from work on time. Took 3 months to get KJ01 made.

Second time I couldn’t be bothered so resorted to “Drink pints, eat kebab on the way home and stumble accidentaly onto nest” method. Hey ho KJ02 was made within a week (so I’m told).

Make the most of it. A mate of mine told me of the phrase (when speaking about post childbirth night time fun) “its like your favorite pub just burned down”. He was right.

So far this thread has concentrated on the How, rather than the Should We?

There are an estimated 7.5 billion people in a world struggling to contain them…

Go start your own thread if that’s what you want to do, don’t spoil ours. We’re having fun.

So far this thread has concentrated on the How, rather than the Should We?

Because that’s what the OP was asking and the thread has stayed largely on topic!