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  • Baby-tastic
  • Cool! Best wishes to all


    Congrats! Cute, bless’em…they are going to give you some sleepless nights 😀


    Twin girls – just like me! A very well done, and good luck!

    The +ive side of them being in hospital is they will be in a very good routine when you get out. What were the weights?

    Ours are 6 months tomorrow and they are tremendously demanding!


    Congrats, The wife now feels broody lol. Hope every goes well and they are all home before you know it……

    5lb 7 and 4lb 10 – can’t wait to have my family home 🙂


    they are good weights for twins mf. ours were let out home at 4lbs

    Premier Icon Stoner

    well done both of you.

    I know it’s been a slog.

    Which is just as well because the next bit isnt easy either 🙂

    Premier Icon Stoner

    5lb 7 and 4lb 10

    Stoner Jr weighed in at 3lb 1


    bit of a shock for everyone.

    It was mainly because their blood sugars were low at birth and they want to ensure they are feeding well and taking to breast.

    I am so in awe of what Mrs M did – a natural birth for both and only gas and air too!


    Congratulations 😀 oh and be careful not to dent your neighbours car door when you take them home 😉


    May as well sell your bikes now mf, and though the first few months are hard with the lack of sleep, you will soon long for the few hours that they both slept simoultaniously when they are demanding constant attention from 5am in the morning!

    Premier Icon postierich

    Well done MF and partner I remember well your earlier threads,


    I remember well your earlier threads,

    Last summer seems a lifetime ago… Just looking forward now.

    And another bonus – I get to celebrate Father’s Day for the first time in just a couple of weeks 😉


    Fantastic!!!! Congrats to the whole family 😀


    Best wishes to your new family & for seeing your bikes again 😀

    Premier Icon cinnamon_girl

    Congratulations! Such good news after all you both have been through.

    Premier Icon pedalhead

    Congratulations, and good luck! I’ve got a couple of those too…12 weeks & 2.5 yrs…your life will never be the same again! Our toddler just got her first “proper” bike this week though & seeing her scoot around the garden makes all those sleepness nights worthwhile. All the best.

    It has happened! After ‘just’ 2 3/4 hrs labour on Monday night, Mrs Mastiles gave birth to Evie Grace, quickly followed by Isabelle (Izzi) Cara. Mum and both girls doing fine, although staying in hospital whilst they get their weight up a little as they were a bit on the small side. And this is my first spare moment since the great event!

    Further pictures


    Don’t tiny babies have the best hair??? 😀 Gorgeous! And what a lovely pic.

    Brilliant. I love new baby threads on here. Makes you forget all the silly arguing and posturing.

    All the best for the future, MF!


    Super Congrats and all the best for the future m_f!


    Congrats man, my little Rouben was born 2 weeks ago after 4hrs labour (not for me!!), we opted to have him at home which was an amazing experience.

    enjoy the wonder of life

    Premier Icon clareymorris

    Huge pat on the back f0r Mrs M-F……….well done.

    They really are beautiful, congratulations to you both 🙂

    COngrats to both of you. Get your sleep while they are in hospital as you will soon forget what a full nights sleep is. You will also eventually see 7-8 as a lie in!


    well done mate, i remember your earlier threads aswell…

    must be bloody mental….

    might be contacting you for some tips 😉

    Premier Icon geoffj

    Well done to Mrs M_F. Enjoy the last nights of unbroken sleep before they come home! 😉


    well done to you all 😀

    The way I feel at the moment, the broken nights will be from me getting up and waking them – I can’t get enough of them so far 🙂

    (I am sure that will change very quickly though)…


    Cool, punk babies!

    Congratulations, and enjoy the sleepless nights!


    congratulations MF! Amazing times for you all.

    Being a dad is ace 🙂


    I remember the problems you;ve had to date, congratulations to all 4 of you, glad it’s worked out


    Conngrats to you both, your going to have your hands full for a while!


    congrats to you and the mrs.
    they look beautiful.


    Yes, congratulations and I hope you enjoy life to the full now.
    I also remember your threads form a year or so ago – so pleased it’s working out for you.

    Now for the 18 years of hard work…


    They are gorgeous. Lovely names too.

    So many congratulations to you all. I think I’ve got a bit of dust in my eye 😉

    Twins are fab, our friends have boy/girl twins and they are such entertainment.


    The way I feel at the moment, the broken nights will be from me getting up and waking them – I can’t get enough of them so far

    (I am sure that will change very quickly though)

    Ha ha, you won’t have to wake them up much I can assure you. I’d sleep whilst you can!

    Congratulations to you all by the way.

    I’m sure this has done the rounds before, but it got sent to me yesterday, and although to late for you mr fanylion, here you are anyway. Congratulations by the way.


    Test 1 – Preparation
    Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-
    1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
    2. Leave it there.
    3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

    Men: To prepare for children:-
    1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
    2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
    3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

    Test 2 – Knowledge
    Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

    Test 3 – Nights
    To discover how the nights will feel:
    1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet
    bag weighing approximately 4 – 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
    2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
    3. Set the alarm for 3am.
    4. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
    5. Go to bed at 2.45am.
    6. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
    7. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
    8. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
    9. Make breakfast.
    Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

    Test 4 – Dressing Small Children
    1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
    2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
    Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

    Test 5 – Cars
    1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
    2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
    3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
    4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
    5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

    Test 6 – Going For a Walk
    1. Wait
    2. Go out the front door
    3. Come back in again
    4. Go out
    5. Come back in again
    6. Go out again
    7. Walk down the front path
    8. Walk back up it
    9. Walk down it again
    10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
    11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
    12. Retrace your steps
    13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
    14. Give up and go back into the house.
    You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

    Test 7 – Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

    Test 8 – Grocery Shopping
    1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child – a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
    2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
    3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
    Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having

    Test 9 – Feeding a 1 year-old
    1. Hollow out a melon
    2. Make a small hole in the side
    3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
    4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
    5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
    6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

    Test 10 – TV
    1. Learn the names of every character from the Thomas the Tank Engine, Barney, Teletubbies and Winx Club.
    2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

    Test 11 – Mess
    Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
    1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
    2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
    3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
    4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

    Test 12 – Long Trips with Toddlers
    1. Make a recording of someone shouting ‘ Mum my’ repeatedly.
    Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mum my. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
    2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
    You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

    Test 13 – Conversations
    1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
    2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mum my tape listed above.
    You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

    Test 14 – Getting ready for work
    1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
    2. Put on your finest work attire
    3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
    4. Stir
    5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
    6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.
    7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
    8. Do not change (you have no time).
    9. Go directly to work

    You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!


    lol – thats actually quite good


    Congratulations! Great news and just makes me wonder how it’s almost a year since my little (ok, not little in any way…) man made an appearance but feels like only a few weeks..

    Hard work but worth it a million times over 🙂

    LOL bits of that are spot on the money.

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