For me peak giving a shit about what strangers thought of me was probably 17-32. It started to ease soon after and by 36-37 I really didn’t give a shit.
The first time I noticed it was when my Sister-in-law used to visit us. I really like her, she’s a nice person and loves ours kids to bits, but at the time she was seeing this waste of skin, never worked, know-it-all, I couldn’t call him a man, and he wasn’t sweet enough to be a boy. I tried to tolerate him, but I couldn’t even though my SIL is more than 10 years younger than me, he’s about my age – anyway this day she’d been in work all day, he’s been in bed – now they’re sat in my living room having an argument – because, it was “pay day” aka the day she got paid, not him – but he’s moaning like a baby because she wouldn’t buy him a Game Boy game, because his parents (who were fleecing her too) wanted a pile of money for rent and board off them – that was it, right there – he effectively died in my mind. I just ignored him, when they came around, I just left the room. I didn’t make excuses, I didn’t sugar coat it, I just looked at him and left.
Back when I gave a shit, I would have either tried to be his best mate and find myself saying stupid things to agree with him, or it would have gone the other way and I’d have punched him or something, but not caring was much better – I had reached a point in life when I didn’t have to do anything, it really way great.
He’s gone now, my ‘giving a shit’ since was limited to making sure I made an effort to get on with her new partner, we don’t have much in common, but he’s a decent bloke and I didn’t want SIL to think it was her I had issue with.
“not caring” isn’t “giving up” but for me maturity brought self-confidence and the knowledge that it just doesn’t matter.
Also, peer pressure I’ve discovered, a total thing of the past it seems.