pretty certain our eldest, nearly 3 and a half, is fibbing to us about pooing at nursery.  he knows he gets a couple of sweets if he does (trying to crack an issue where he will only poo at home)

suddenly he seems to have twigged he just has to claim he’s done it on his own without help or witnesses….we know some are true but pretty certain not all.  we’ve had a conversation about fibbing, no idea if it’s sunk in.

thought it would be a lot older before this shenanigans

Boy same 3 years 9 months  – getting little fibs and minor manipulation of mummy and daddy at the moment – Call him her on it.

“children around the age of two to three years begin by telling primary lies which are designed to conceal transgressions but fail to take the mental state of the listener into consideration.   Around the age of four, children learn to tell secondary lies which are more plausible and geared to the listener’s mental development.   By age seven or eight, children learn to tell tertiary lies which are more consistent with known facts and follow-up statements. ”

.. and then in their 70s they forget how to do secondary or tertiary lies and run for President

.. and then in their 70s they forget how to do secondary or tertiary lies and run for President

🙂

To be fair to the kids, it was the parents that started it.

You start lying to your kids almost as soon as they are born.

standard age for all three off them.  Sophie asked if she could have chocolate but I said no.  She went to lynne sitting 3 feet from me and told her I said yes ha ha ha ha.

Similar age. We laid on the emotional blackmail. By which I mean rather than telling her off, we showed her how upset we were (which was true) and she understood the consequences.

Call him her on it.

Bit harsh to be deliberately gender confusing him so young.

She went to lynne sitting 3 feet from me and told her I said yes ha ha ha ha.

Can’t blame her for trying!

Yeah about 3 for us.

She’s 4 now and quite clever with it, there’s this move she doesn’t want to do in Gymnastics (there’s a whole other thread I could go into about Gymnastics!) My Wife promised her a toy if she did it, and despite every fibre of her being telling her not to do it, she did and got the toy. The following week she did it again and was rewarded (like a dog) with a treat, she wanted another toy, but she got some chocolate, this went on for weeks.

Now the Gym is massive, she they train right down the other end. Wife had seen her do it the first time, but not since. When she was chatting to the coach she asked how she was getting on with it “oh, she did it once, but she simply refuses to do it again”.

I have to admit, I was impressed.

You start lying to your kids almost as soon as they are born.

My daughter found out the truth about the tooth fairy and Santa because she straight up asked me and I refused to lie.

She cried. Wife was mad.

There is a lesson there somewhere.

My daughter found out the truth about the tooth fairy and Santa because she straight up asked me and I refused to lie

I didn’t lie to mine in the first place about that nonsense.

“I didn’t lie to mine in the first place about that nonsense”

And what a magical childhood they must have had……

Our 6yo has been a master of lying since the age of about 3. She scarily quick at it and as you engage her in conversation and questions stemming from the original obvious lie you can see how quick she can think of an answer to back it up and it can sometimes take quite a bit to catch her out. I can tell she’ll go far in life, but I’m terried of the teenage years first!

Her sister, currently 3, has started but not quite at the same level (yet). Her biggest mistake is the classic asking mum for something and when she gets a “no” she gives it “but Daddy said I could” followed by me, about 10 feet away “erm, I can hear you and no I didn’t”

My boy started fibbing at 3. Basically to cover up bad behavior. I have tried to teach him that it doesn’t matter whatever he has done or whatever has happened he will never be in as much trouble as if he is caught lying about something.

Seems to be working now he is 6.

My daughter has started fibbing at 3 but she is rubbish at it.

if it makes you feel any better my 3 year old daughter has me around her little finger. lies are only a small part of it

My daughter found out the truth about the tooth fairy and Santa because she straight up asked me and I refused to lie.

She cried. Wife was mad.

There is a lesson there somewhere.

Is the lesson ‘don’t be a dick’?

Is the lesson ‘don’t be a dick’?

Ooph, bit harsh!

My daughter found out the truth about the tooth fairy and Santa because she straight up asked me and I refused to lie.

She cried. Wife was mad.

There is a lesson there somewhere.

Depends on what you define as the ‘truth’ about Santa.

Is he a man in a red suit with a beard who can visit every house in one night? Maybe not, but just ‘cos you can’t actually see or touch something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It’s too early for the Santa letter, it’s only November, but if you can’t accept that ‘Santa’ is real, I feel for you and your kids.

About 2 1/2 for our oldest.

She got angry and shouted f***. Realised immediatly she was in for a bollocking so tried telling us Moana says it in the scene where she meets Maui.

We watched that bit and she then admitted mummy uses that word and that is how she knows it. 🙂

Is the lesson ‘don’t be a dick’?

It’s either that or “Women prefer it when men lie to them”. You choose. 😉

And no, your bum looks great in that.

Depends on what you define as the ‘truth’ about Santa.

Didn’t realise it was a matter of faith.

FWIW I went with the “Santa is more of an idea than an actual person” route.

Does during pregnancy count?  Bugger said she was coming in Mid-March and surprised us Mid-January, the little fibber!

6yr old a little.  3yr old boy will push it.  “can I have this”, mummy says “no”, goes and finds Daddy, “Mummy said I can have this, can you get it for me?”,  Daddy says yes and Daddy is now in trouble!

And what a magical childhood they must have had……

Because believing in fictional characters makes all the difference in childhood

do you know what, I think it does. Whether it’s fairies, dragons, Santa Claus, that your teddy can speak, all that stuff is part of being a kid. When your kid sits down for a tea party with their dolls do you point out that it’s pointless because they aren’t real, they can’t hear you, that cake’s made of plastic and there’s nothing but air in the teapot?

Being an adult is broadly speaking, like shovelling shit uphill for days on end, interspersed with occasional bright spots just to remind how shit it is the rest of the time. Don’t rob our children of the chance to pretend it isn’t, for as long as we can make the pretence last.

Testify!

Don’t all kids lie and it’s being truthful and honest that need to be taught? My eldest (four) comes out with all kinds of crazy shit. It’s all part of the learning process for a small human.

Bravo theotherjohnv, couldn’t agree with you more. I see too many kids having their innocence and childhood taken away too soon these days. Let them believe the world is a magical place full of wonder. One day that’ll get stripped away and they’ll be like some of the miserable bastards on here.

My son has been lying pretty much since he could speak. Clearly a born politician. Admittedly it’s mostly about whether he’s done a poo but given the state of British politics I’d say he’s already on the right tracks

It’s a start – but for true politician status does he refuse to answer your questions about whether he has indeed had a poo, instead focusing on whether he actually meant he was going to have one when he said he was going for one? And in any case, several times in the past his sister said she had done a poo when in fact it was clear she hadn’t, plus she’s friends with the muslim family down the road, which is clearly the issue that needs attention here.

Meanwhile he’s sat there in his own pooey mess and refusing to accept a simple change of pants could resolve matters.

Well our nearly two year old lies all the time… ‘have you done a poo’ ‘no’ ‘why do you smell like a dead rat?’ Etc

It’s important to lie to your kids about Santa, so that age seven or whatever, they realise for themselves that there really is a global conspiracy to fool them, which their parents and all the adults they respect are part of.

Little J,just6,was at a football camp in the summer. Dele Ali was one of the coaches.

&  Liverpool F.C. have visited his school.

🙂

Never mind kids – our dog tells lies.  She is rubbish at it though and has so many ‘tells’ we can see through it.  For example, if I have fed her and gone out before my wife gets in, she will make out that she has still to be fed.  I have known other dogs to feign injury to get attention.  This leads me to believe that misleading another person/animal to get what you want (or avoiding getting what you don’t want) must be innate behaviour/hard wired into us and other animals

About 2 1/2 for our oldest.

She got angry and shouted f***. Realised immediatly she was in for a bollocking so tried telling us Moana says it in the scene where she meets Maui.

We watched that bit and she then admitted mummy uses that word and that is how she knows it.

When #1 spawn was about the same age wife and I were in the living room and there was a crash from the kitchen followed by a small voice saying ‘oh sit!’

It took a while for us to choke back the laughter long enough to tell her off for this, despite her probably having learned it from us…

Well our nearly two year old lies all the time… ‘have you done a poo’ ‘no’ ‘why do you smell like a dead rat?’ Etc

I also remember walking into the living room to find a red-faced 18/12 old braced against the coffee table. “Are you having a poo?” “Nnnnnnnnnnoooooooo!”

Because believing in fictional characters makes all the difference in childhood

Of course it does! Either you’re ignorant about how important imagination is in play to children’s development, or you just don’t care, in which case I really feel sorry for any kids you might have, and their empty childhood.

Deary, deary me.

Mine was 2 in June. Lies already. Today prime example. He spilt his jam sandwich on the carpet and told the Mrs it was me!

He did fess up afterwards. I reckon they are learning what they can and cannot do!

Could I just point out that Saint Nicholas – Santa Claus – was indeed a real person and the whole presents at xmas thing seems to have evolved from his propensity to give gifts. Just saying like.