"as happy as a penguin in a microwave"

Someone posted this on facebook and I thought, hmm, quite a good analogy for not being happy. But can you actually fit a penguin in a microwave? If not then the analogy holds no water. I know you’ve got microwave and penguin size variables etc. any experiences? cheers.

edit: fixed my spellinq of penguin.

Wasn’t there a film where they put someone in a human size microwave? It was a gangster film and the guy exploded??

Anyway… you could’ve fit an emperor penguin in that one.

Yeah there’s little ones, innit? Should fit in a standard microwave. Dunno about an Emperor though.

I seen penguins in Australia once. Mad little bastards; hop up onto rock, shufle forward, throw self in water. Swim round, get out, repeat. Over and over again.

Like, WTF? 🙄

Wasn’t there a film where they put someone in a human size microwave? It was a gangster film and the guy exploded??

Anyway… you could’ve fit an emperor penguin in that one.

You’re thinking of Kick Ass.

But can you actually fit a penquin in a microwave?

How about a baby penguin? They’re identical to baby robins apparently. They would fit in even the most modest of microwaves.

What about if it was still in the egg? That’d be interesting.

….and quite tasty, TSY!

“thick Jamie”

*sniggers*

*clutches straws*

Damn, someone else found the edit function!

There is an edit function?

You might get a Fairy Penguin into a large microwave, but an Emperor? No chance:

The largest living species is the Emperor Penguin (Aptenodytes forsteri): adults average about 1.1 m (3 ft 7 in) tall and weigh 35 kg (75 lb) or more. The smallest penguin species is the Little Blue Penguin (Eudyptula minor), also known as the Fairy Penguin, which stands around 40 cm tall (16 in) and weighs 1 kg (2.2 lb).

the small ones are 40cm tall it says on wikipedia. you could squash one in. but I don’t trust wikipedia. It can’t be a baby one, it’s got to be grown up with full rational thought and understanding intact.

Pretty sure I could ram a Rockhopper into the microwave.

you could fit several emperor penguins in a microwave if you cremated them first.

TSY, a few minutes ago:

‘ninja edit’ made me snigger.

Rockhoppers are metal and will break the microwave; any fewl no that!

excellent countzero. That’s what I did. It makes me smug in the knowledge that I can use the internet to find things out about small penguins! no practical experiences then? bah.

They’re identical to baby robins apparently

Cept that Baby Penguins float, and Baby Robins soak up water like a sponge and sink.

I don’t trust wikipedia

See, a lot of people say this to try and sound cool, as though somehow they have access to more ‘accurate’ information, but tbh, Wiki’s usually pretty much spot on. Same as people try to claim ‘oh the trains never run on time’, when in reality, they mostly do actually. There’s often sources and stuff listed so’s you can check it out, and quite often, the Wiki entries are quoted form the ‘bona fide’ sources anyway. Plus, you can always challenge any content, so entires pretty much need to be on the mark, or some clever clogs will come along and ‘correct’ you…

I trust Wiki. Mainly.

Not sure if I trust penguins though.

Definitely don’t trust cahs. Sneaky buggers. 🙁

But it would go with a good bang 🙂

Penguin in a microwave = Elfinsafety in a dinner jacket in a phone booth?

No?

I know they are doing experiments in underground labs in switzerland trying to fire penguins faster than the speed of light. but shh, you didn’t hear it from me. I didn’t read this on Wiki either. I have sources.

Why would I be in a ‘phone box when I’ve got a mobile innit?

Duurr! Stooopid! 🙄

some daft **** on here Elf.

You mobile is a cardboard box with numbers drawed on, innit?

and you int got no change for the phone box.

Cheers Jamie, it was doing my nut in trying to remember that film!

look. I want some serious engineer/IT/logical type to come up with an equation to fit penguins in microwaves. or I’m going to play xbox..

none of you smartarses have noticed my misspelling of “spelling”. how smart are you know hahahahaha.

Why do you keep going on about penquins Jamie?

Did we ever resolve what a penquin was?

Wouldn’t roast penguin taste better than nuking it?

it’s a penguin

They turn into R&B singers. You just need to put it in until its bill withers.

Easy lads, it looks like one of us is a penguin spy.

If only there was a clue as to who it is…..

You mobile is a cardboard box with numbers drawed on, innit?

and you int got no change for the phone box.

You dunalf talk some rubbish, you. 🙄

‘Carboard box with numbers drawed on it’ ffs…

Your ‘mobile’ is just a piece of bacon with price stickers stuck on it. And you walk round shopping centres talking loudly into it trying to pretend to people you’ve got a fancy phone. And you even make ringtone noises to add to the illusion…

It’s bloody Elfin! Put him in a DJ, put him in a phone box et voila!

excellent Cougar! you get a free herring! lol @ Elfs bacon phone!

or I’m going to play xbox

Got any prawns Kev?

I have, so ner. 😛

Wouldnt you have to take the wrapper off first?

They taste like chicken I heard…