Just spent half an hour!! on the loo, and it was like a couple of peanuts! LOL

Really really hard work as well! Got sore legs AND there was nothing to read!

Very disappointed LOL

as a vegan I have rather a lot to contribute to this thread but nothing in relation to your troubles

you doing “that” diet ??

Poo is a regular subject on here

As an ibs sufferer it takes up a large part of my life, but happily on solids, for now

i went earlier. it was like throwing shoes out of the loft.

Just spent half an hour!! on the loo, and it was like a couple of peanuts! LOL

Really really hard work as well! Got sore legs AND there was only the New improved Singletrack Magazine to read!

Very disappointed LOL

I did a poo once

Ahhh the Bristol Stool chart. We meet again.

“like sh***ing an angry cat” said my friend returning from a porta loo after consuming too many energy products at MM a few years ago. Still makes me chuckle now

In my teen years I thought I was force farting to amuse my mates but something else came out … 😆

As a vegan vegetarian and prolific drinker of real ale I have rather a lot to contribute to this thread but nothing in relation to your troubles.

It was like a flock of pigeons taking off yesterday. 8)

“like sh***ing an angry cat”

sorry Houns, limited life experience here – how could it be like shagging an angry cat ? 😯

(haven’t tried either and I’m loath to ask for a graphic explanation – is it something like wot Mr Gere didn’t do with his hamster ?)

It was like a flock of pigeons taking off yesterday. 8)

“Now wash your mind”
😆

Imagine much spitting and hissing

I did six poos at a 24 hour race once, ripped to the tits on energy products. I think unlike Houns’ mate, my experience was like expelling an angry cat, not fornicating with one. Well, expelling six excited kittens anyway.

Ah, I see (hear) !
Please excuse my imagination 😳

This indicates that you have a lack of fibre, insufficient fluid intake and a slow transit time. Increase your intake of water, herbal teas, raw fruit and vegetables, cooked grains such as brown rice, quinoa and millet, sprouted pulses, flax seeds and olive oil. Avoid meat, dairy, wheat, eggs, refined carbohydrates and sugar.

I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got a mole at the counter…

Type 1! Definitely

And I’m vegetarian. Thought for a bit it wasn’t coming out, little ****

Time and motion fail

Gillian McKeith to the thread please!!

and once again the STW collective have reduced me to tears of laughter with stories of No 2’s

however I would like to put forward to the collective a

Type 8: sweet lordy lordy, how on gods (insert your own) sweet earth did something that big come out of such a small place?

😆

Bats at dusk.

OP – you need to check that MF isn’t logged on (fnarr fnarr) before you talk about poo, he doesn’t like it 🙂

Brown come in your time is up!

07.10 every working day a good firm motion ,and whenever i get up when not at work,i had the runs once after eating quorn ,proud of my poo’s

on hols with a mate in fuerteventura
downed a pint of the local tap water after waking up drunk in the middle of the night
the volcanic minerals in the water resulted in a light frothy excretion a sort of explosive cross between a milky way and a chocolate milkshake
didnt really kick in till the following night after id been lucky enough to head back with a very nice norwegian girl…. she was most understanding all things considered

I knew a guy who shat himself on a cruise boat on the nile.

In his sleep.

On a deck chair.

In front of about 50 people.

😆

Poo is a regular subject

I see what you did there.

I would like to put forward to the collective a Type 8

You’re going the wrong way on the scale. What you’ve got there is, perhaps, a Type 0. A type 8 would be a fart with unexpected bonus prizes.

Emsz, surely…a strong black coffee, or given the time of day, perhaps a pint or two of fruit juice and a big bowl of cereal and off to bed. Jobs a good’ un !

That’ll flush you out in the morning – it should save all of those big effort faces … 😯

I think emsz’s problem is likely that she’s a burd and therefore (probably) not wise in the ways of 4 pints of mild before bedtime

…now there’s an idea!

Aye, a few pints of proper Ale and maybe some meat…..

My cockney gran used to have quite a few pleasant turns of phrase about toilet habits but my favourite was her name for a portaloo- a chemi khazi

Wimminz turd laying habits sure are weird.

Mine can go a week between poo’s – I’d actually die if I didn’t crap fer a week/erm… two days.

Like dropping a load of old library books out of a suitcase into a canal.

Greenwich Poo time here.

Twice daily and perfection personified.

A mate of mine coughed a couple of maltesers into his grundies whilst majorly pissed in Amsterdam. He packed said grundies c/w contents into his case.

Back at Manchester, customs lady called him over and had the misfortune of finding the lot.

For the record – I love pooing. And I’m good at it.

d_s, your story has turned what was merely a chuckle or possibly a titter whilst reading through this thread into a full blown belly laugh complete with mild tearing of the eyes! For that sir I thank you.

On to the topic at hand, I’m normally regular as clockwork, however, I’ve had a cold knocking at the door since Monday, for some reason it seems to have really upset my internal ecosystem, my poo schedule has gone out the window and I am dropping the most obnoxtious farts with alarming regularity!