Anyone else's life ruined by fear of sudden death?
I see more people die than just about anyone on the forum, but I don’t think like you do because I can rationalise my experience. I know it will happen someday, but I know it’s unlikely to be soon.
Control the controlable, don’t get stuck worrying about the things you can’t control.Posted 5 years ago
Unless you have a specific condition that makes it likely or you’re taking inappropriate risks with your health, there’s no point worrying about sudden death – if it happens, tough shit, but it’s bloody unlikely
What sort of cause of death are you afraid of ?Posted 5 years agoyunkiMember
If you’re happy trying to use chemicals to alter your perception then why not try some psychoactive substances..?
Unless you are prepared to make fundamental lifestyle changes, I can’t think of a more direct and effective way of opening your mind to new ways of thinking about the way that you experience life..Posted 5 years agobwaarpMember
Why are you a mountain biker if you have a fear of sudden death. I believe cyclists are well known for suddenly dying due to getting hit by cars, hitting trees and suffering fatal TBI’s, getting seatposts lodged up their rectums causing massive internal bleeding, getting eaten by bears if in Canada, getting eaten by wild cats if in California. The list is endless. 😀Posted 5 years agoaka_GiloMember
Having had to watch my parents die fairly recently (mum 5 years ago, dad 4 months ago) I have some certainties:
– Live your live, really live it. Spend time with your loved ones and friends, ride bikes, get p*ssed. Don’t sit around worrying.
– Hope you go suddenly and quickly, no lingering death in a hospice or hospital bed.
– Prepare your kids (if you have them) to be self-sufficient and not reliant on anyone.
That’s it.Posted 5 years agoderek_starshipMember
I do try to GET ON. Hence mountain biking and being married and working and stuff. Just a malevolence sneaks in and makes me worry. I know I’m gonna cork it. And I’d rather be switched off by the biggest cardiac accident ever than by a “long illness bravely borne” story. I’ll try harder to GET ON. Harry -your books are toast.Posted 5 years agostavromullerSubscriber
Cut the grass down at the cemetery last weekend and getting my breath back, I started looking at the ages on the gravestones. Could be I’ve only 9 or ten years left, barring incident, so the only way deal with this is to live for today and bloodywell enjoy yourselfPosted 5 years agooldagedpredatorSubscriber
Derek, you’ll get through it. I’m not in a particularly sharing mood with the hive mind on this kind of stuff as have a lot going on but since you’re adjitated.
People, just telling someone just get out and ride doesn’t help. Even if just getting out and riding does help quite a lot. For people who have faced life threatening situations it can all seem a little weird that yer head just decides its not going to play ball. It happens, its not pleasant but its worth hanging on in there because you can get through it. Get help, you don’t have to go through it alone. You wont be the only person on here going through stuff or have ever faced this. Hang in there.
Took me 2hrs faff to go for a 90min ride today. Am having a word with myself about it. Couple of days ago it was 45mins for a three hour ride. Worth it though because it turned into 3hrs of grin inducing god like riding.Posted 5 years agoMidnighthourMember
Maybe the question here is not really about dying, but about
– what your belief in the after life is?
– what you think you will miss out on in this life if you die?
I dont know your answers, but it might help you to look at them. I can give you some of my own, my personl views on my death:
I am very fortunate in that I have no gods and no belief in an afterlife. I also enjoy sleeping. To me, being dead is something to look forward to in many ways, when my life is done. No one can hurt you again, there will be no pain or fear or hunger, loss or grief. To me that is a wonderful state and I find it very comforting when I have lost creatures and people I love – to know that they have gone somewhere utterly safe from harm of any sort.
What would I miss from this life? Well lots of things – but things I would escape from would potentially be pain, loss, a difficult old age, long term illness, right wing politics, wars, people and animals suffering and there being little I can do about it. There are plenty of things I would be more than glad to see the back of.
Fast deaths are also kinder to your loved ones – so think of dying suddenly as a gift to them as watching someone die slowly and not being able to help them is really really not fun.
Having seen a few people die very very slowly – one dehydrating and starving to death through illness – I can think of no end better than a sudden one. Our neighbour died suddenly walking along a lane chatting to my mum. The guy just collapsed and died in the road. He really liked my mum, liked the countryside, it was a nice day. He was fine 5 minutes before. Great way to go. No time to be afraid or to worry, just like turning off a light switch and heading into a lovely sleep. Could it get any better than that?Posted 5 years ago
That oldaged fella has it right; your worry is a symptom, not a real thing. It’s okay to worry about stuff, it’s okay to feel fragile and lonely and generally scared. Coping with those feelings is what makes us what we are.
You might feel surrounded by people who seem to be managing, who seem to be cool with stuff, who seem to be doing just fine, but they are as scared and as frightened and as messed up as you, but they just hide it a bit better.
It’s not easy, but that’s what makes it worth it.Posted 5 years agoedhornbySubscriber
I do try to GET ON. Hence mountain biking and being married and working and stuff.
others – who seem to be cool with stuff, who seem to be doing just fine, but they are as scared and as frightened and as messed up as you, but they just hide it a bit better.
I think that this is what we all do – I have a small child and the idea of what may happen in 20 years time – specifically will my parenting skills cut it – is frightening because there are so many elements out of our control. So focusing on the now, the controllable, is what gets us through
I’ve met you briefly on a few occasions, I say you’re a sound bloke 🙂Posted 5 years agoCountZeroMember
Of course you’re going to die, it’s the one absolute, incontrovertible fact that we can all be sure of. I’m 58, my dad died suddenly at age 42 when I was 13, my mum died two months ago yesterday age 85 from congenital heart disease and old age. Accept the inevitable, you will die, sometime, get over it and get on loving your family and enjoying every day that comes to you. As a result of my mum dying I’ve got back in touch with a really special friend who I’ve known for over twenty years but not seen for eleven, and her friendship means everything to me, we’ve been able to help each other get over losses in both our lives, and as a result things are looking more positive than they have in a long time.Posted 5 years ago
The future’s in your family, look to them and love them, stop worrying about yourself.Herman ShakeMember
The fact that everything is finite gives anything you find special some value. Everything in the unique experience of your life is only going to happen the once so get involved!
Your fear suggests you feel a low level of control in your life, you have far more of a hold over yourself than it may seem. You have the capacity to be incredible and your situation can improve. This won’t magically disappear, but finding ways to be more optimistic and enjoy the things you fill your day with are steps to improving things. This also means trying to cut out the crap you don’t need in your life.
Your medication may be making things worse, chat to these people and find out what others in your position have done to get out of it.Posted 5 years agobwaarpMember
The OP needs to watch The Thin Red Line.
Brilliant film and it deals with this. It is strangely a very dark film, yet at the same time uplifting.
A quick excerpt from a nice review *spoiler alert*
“These metaphysical reflections on truth, mortality, and humanity, are, for Critchley, what makes Malick’s film a philosophical work. The key to the film and to Malick’s work generally, he suggests, is calm: the calm acceptance of death, of this-worldly mortality, aPosted 5 years ago
calmness present not only as a narrative theme but as a cinematic aesthetic. Malick’s male protagonists, as Critchley observes, ‘seem to foresee their appointment with death and endeavour to make sure they arrive on time’ (2005, 13). Witt is one such character,
recklessly putting himself in situations of extreme danger, fascinated by the intimacy of death, but with an anticipation of it that brings not fear but calm. Early in the film, Witt describes his initially fearful response to his mother’s death asfollows: ‘I was afraid to touch the death that I see in her. I couldn’t find anything beautiful or uplifting about her going back to God. I heard people talk about immortality, but I ain’t never seen it.’ Witt then wonders how it will be when he dies, what it would be like ‘to know that this breath now was the last one you was ever gonna draw’. And it is here that he finds his answer about the relation between immortality and mortality: ‘I just hope I can meet it the same way she did, with the same ? calm. Because that’s where it’s hidden, the immortality that I hadn’t seen.'”
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