- Anyone else perform the 'female' role in their house?
I am the main carer for my kids as my wife earns much more than me and loves her career.
The assumption always was that as soon as the youngest started school I’d go back to full time employment and get back into a ‘career’ and the kids would go into morning and afternoon childcare.
Started a new surveying job last week and have just resigned. I can’t work in a formal capacity any more. I just take the piss, have no work ethic and will take liberties whenever I can. So I’ll just carry on driving a cab a couple of nights a week and being ‘mr mum’.
Ive just resigned to the fact I’ll never be rich or drive nice cars ever again.
Funny thing is the wife wanted me to quit more than me as she found she couldn’t be tthere for her work as she always had been.
So its a life of cooking and cleaning and being a housewife (with some part time work thrown in for me) which I much prefer tbh than going out and working.
Anyone else in this position? I know when women do it no one bats an eyelid.
All my university years seem wasted now.
Though at least there are no more barriers to getting a dog!Posted 3 years agoRAPID RIDERMember
Me me me! For the lat year and a half! I took voluntary redundancy! I struggled to get a new job so my wife who out earns me suggested I take advantage of the opportunity to spend some time with the kids. Our boys started school in September so I am officially started looking for work again! I have had two telephone interviews this week. So my being a kept man might be coming to an end.Posted 3 years ago
It’s been great apart from the damage being the full time carer to twin 5 year old boys is doing to my mental health!!Smudger666Subscriber
which I much prefer tbh
the wife wanted me to quit
I’d say the two people who matter most in the arrangement are up for it. Don’t knock yourself about what anyone else thinks.
And anyone who thinks looking after your family is ‘unmanly’ needs to take a long hard look at their priorities.
On the other hand, can you just confirm my suspicions that the housework takes about half an hour after the kids go to school and you swan around for 6 hours till they get home? 🙂Posted 3 years agojohndohMember
I have a friend not unlike the OP.
However one *major difference* is that she is a selfish career-minded person, bumping her boss, trading in her family car for a two-seater and he also works full time, does a bit of caring for their lovely kid (civil service so more flexible hours) then spends most of his time at football, with his mates or on ‘work trips’ to London with female work colleagues that he boasts about on Facebook – they are thinly-disguised as genuine work trips but with glaring suggestions he is shagging around as much as she is.
Really sad.Posted 3 years agolungeSubscriber
Depends how you define the female role really. Me and Mrs Lunge both work full time and earn similar amounts of money but I do all the cooking, ironing and general household stuff. Mainly as she has loads of work to do in the evenings/weekends and I don’t. Works well for us as, rather sadly, I find these tasks quite relaxing and she hates them.Posted 3 years agoEdukatorMember
Yup, my university years weren’t wasted though. I use what I learned at uni just as much in my private life as I did when I used to work. The year I took off is now up to twelve and I miss work in the same way as you miss a rotten tooth that’s been extracted – there’s a gap but no pain.Posted 3 years agojambalayaSubscriber
OP I’m surprised you’ve lost your work ethic after what 5 years at home ?
As for being rich or driving nice cars who’s to say the wife’s career won’t provide those for you ?
I know a few women who are the main providers, strikes me their husbands have quite a good setup. In two cases the husbands have quite entrepreneurial “jobs”, they have afford to take risks and dabble in different businesses as they are not doing it for the money.Posted 3 years agomidlifecrashesSubscriber
Yep, 17 and a bit years into it now. Used to work as an IT and training consultant, on a decent wedge. Continued that for the first eight years or so until my IT skills got too obsolete, though with a couple of months graft I could probably catch up again to be useful to somebody.
Switched tack, renovating and renting houses to make a decent pension pot for us, currently in saving for next deposit mode so it looks like I’m doing nowt a lot of the time(I am).
Actually started looking at getting a regular job again soon, with kids heading to Uni from next year, and two of them going to be there at once, cash will be king once again. Maybe I need a taxi, quite like that idea.Posted 3 years agowinstonMember
If you mean principal child care and house husband – that’s me
Took voluntary redundancy/got paid to bugger off from a job I hated in London 15 months ago and have been doing the housebound thing
Bored now and will be back at work by January – not really cut out for such a narrowing of my world to be honest. Trick will be to earn 50% of my last wage working 50% of the time as I still want to do the school run if I canPosted 3 years agocheekymonkey888Member
I always wanted to know if its as difficult as all the women make it out to be? Honestly is it really a full time job with a long lunch break and loose women on the box?
I’d like to switch roles as I can see it much more rewarding .. if equality is what feminism is all about I’m all for it. BTW I must ask do you have a moustache?Posted 3 years ago
Tbh its not that I’m new to it, I’ve been doing it for the last 4 years and love it, but we’ve just made the decision that this will now be my role in life, at least for the next 7 years til my youngest starts senior school. And by then I’ll have been out of the formal job market for 11 years and 48 so any career ambitions I ever may have had have now (or will have) disappeared. Always hated working anyway.
Though I’m happy with that, especially as the wife’s career is on the up and up.
And as the wife says, I am now her b*tch, which is hard to argue with really.Posted 3 years agowinstonMember
Its more rewarding than being stuck in bad job
But I’ll be honest, I feel like I’m stagnating now and much as I love being there for my children, I also want to develop my skills and do something other than cook, clean and help with primary maths homework
Then there is the money thing.I’m also lucky that my wife has a professional salary which takes the heat off but I can’t just go and spunk dosh on bike bits/snowboarding holidays/sailing kit etc like I used to and I miss that!
[Edit} Ok so I still sort of do that but feel guilty which is rubbishPosted 3 years ago
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