Being an NQT should be no excuse for anyone saying “don’t tell your parents”. I was an NQT last year and would never have said that. Like I said in my first post, secrets are never a good thing. As Ampthill says, it’s basic safeguarding and something that an NQT would have very recently had training on.
If you decide to talk to the teacher you will probably find it wasn’t said in the way you think and it’s just a misunderstanding.
I probably deal with a 100* incidents a week of children being unkind to each other – of which probably 99* of them aren’t really of any consequence. I can’t let them waste the time of all the children who deserve to have their learning uninterrupted. Within a couple of minutes the children involved in the unkindness are usually best friends again! I do keep a mental note though and try to spot any trends so they can be dealt with. I also deal with those incidents that seem more serious straight away.
If a parent came in to talk to me about something as minor as a child saying they hated another, I’d probably remind them that the children they are talking about are 6 years old and say all sorts of things they don’t mean. I might have a quick word with the all children involved including those who spread it (but not single one out) and just say it’s not nice to be mean to people, how would you feel etc… without any investigation. Occasionally I have a whole class word about how getting on with each other – but don’t spend too long.
Yesterday’s whole class advice was about not playing mercy, I painted all sorts of pictures in their mind of broken fingers and deformed hands from children playing mercy. Took 30 seconds to do and meant I didn’t have to waste time investigating who was involved.
*statistics might not be completely accurate!