“How do I get this to work…erm…erm…wossis…no point asking me to read the instructionals, I’m stupid…but I can’t get this to work…what’s USB? How do I get pictures in it?”

We’ve bought MIL an electronic photo keyring for crying out loud.

But I do love her, she’s bought me some ace stuff. Also, stepson 2 bought me a Lego set and stepson 1 bought me some Scotch. 🙂

How about my fat **** stupid waste of air, time, money, resources pathetic excuse for my sister!!!

The MIL was wittering away loudly about nothing throughout Ratatouille, The Griffalo Child and Dr Who.
So, now it’s time to get my revenge while she’s quiet for Strictly

So, now it’s time to get my revenge while she’s quiet for Strictly

Now may be a good time to trip the circuit breaker for the sockets, and to tell her youve forgot a screwdriver.

Also, I’ve just remembered and need to record for posterity an astounding bit of serendipity:

On the way to the beach we were listening to Junior Choice with Ed Stewart (in itself fantastic) and I remarked that I hoped they would be featuring Rolf Harris.

Despite listening to a couple of cracking records (Positive Thinking – Morcambe and Wise, Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah – Alan Sherman, My Bruvver – Terry Scott etc.) Rolf hadn’t appeared by the time we got to the beach.

However, JUST AS WE GOT BACK IN THE CAR… Two Little Boys came on! The last record of the show.

Couldn’t help but shed a tear.

I love Christmas.

My MIL does the witter thing, endlessly while she’s not interested in anything on the television regardless of whoever is watching it. So I’ve talked endlessly through Eastenders about stuff I’ve mentioned at least three times before already.

Yep my mum also witters repeatedly and asks what’s going on when watching the telly, then sits there radiating disapproval.

Luckily she’s a seven hour drive away, just me, wife & kids today. Taking a telly break before ab fab comes on, might whack BF3 on for a few mins.

God help me

Mother ill and away with the fairies, step father annoying, well meaning but annoying. Still tomorrow I get to cook breakfast an pack up before heading 2 and a half hours home to entertain the outlaws for lunch! And I bought and cooked lunch today, yesterday and tomorrow (in fridge awaiting some heat)!

Triffic. And there is a ride organised that I can’t go on.

Looking forward to Tuesdays ride!

1st year in over a decade its just the wife & I = BLISS

Its not that any of either sets of parents is nasty I guess its just having your house invaded by people with a different set of priority’s & when your wife has MS she needs all the peace she can get.

Though I know what JohnM means about people who witter through anything remotely educational/informative and then want quiet while they watch every bloody shite soap on TV

Great post – fascinating to listen to what in-laws and the like bring to the party – guys & gals, i’m sorry to hear your experiences, but glad to see you’ve got somewhere to vent your spleen

Been lucky this year – managed a quick ride this morning then had first whole family Xmas (including cute little nieces) in 4 years – spot on

I did learn one thing today – the pockets on Endura MT500 shorts where not waterproof enough to protect my Blackberry in the washing machine….so no work emails till the 3rd. Bliss…..

Now watching rubbish Xmas movies demolishing a bottle of gin…more bliss!

Just remember, a boxing day ride will make everything better!! 😀

MIL – Who I do get on with very well and never fallen out with told my eldest not to eat the chicken skin, “It’s fine just eat it” was my response

“No Amy you can’t”

“But I like it Grandma”

“Don’t eat you shouldn’t”

“Amy, I’ve eaten chicken skin since I was younger than you and it’s done me no harm if you like it you can eat it”

“You shouldn’t eat it it’s disgusting”

“Here you are Amy how much would you like”

“I like the skin too Amy” was my sister in law’s response, who was looking rather hot yesterday. Ahem!

There was something else soon after that but I’ve forgotten now and even that wasn’t bad. Still my family and the Mrs’ are all here today sometime, so should be good to see them. We’re not sure if my younger Bro and my Dad will be here next year so make the most of your family folks.

Yes. Went to collect the mil and her partner from the coach stop and only the mil was there and really upset because he dumped her as she got on the coach. Bstsrd! She’s doing her best to keep chin up bless her. Coming alone she could have stayed in the house and saved me the cost of three hotel nights.

He will not be getting his presents.

Every year, either us, the MIL, or one of the two SIL’s do the Boxing Day hosting.

The MIL has dodged this recently, so it now comes down to one of three sisters – one being Mrs STR. Last year we did it, but as the two SIL’s don’t get on (due to a hilarious and very scathing text to the wrong person incident a few years ago), there is always someone missing.

Anyway, we decided we wanted none of it this year, either hosting or visiting and everyone agreed to do their own thing. This, until the MIL/FIL laid on the guilt trip and asked if they could call round briefly. Ok, fair enough – this was then followed by a call to say that we’d better be putting plently of food on, as it would be all they were eating all day! This followed by them phoning round the other sisters, inviting them round and telling them we were putting a big spread on! Now we have 2/3 of the frikkin adopted family arriving at 12 for the usual proceedings that we said we weren’t doing. Conned, big time and not happy!

Still, at least the SIL is fit.

The bloody “thing” came up again and provoked a massive fallout.Long story, but: Mum died 9 years ago, younger brother (then about 30) was still at home with dad. Within a year or so, father was out trying to find another woman. YB didn’t take kindly to this,was worried he’d have nowhere to go if Dad got remarried. To assuage his fears,Dad instructed a lawyer to put the house in LB’s name.

He also took all the money left that he and Mum had and put it in LB’s
bank account. LB was worried that he would do something silly with it, and so dad’s idea was that LB could approve any withdrawals. All of this was basically just to stop LB moving out.

We’re talking about a house thats worth maybe £150k in todays money, and about £100k of cash, mostly insurance policy payouts, pension lumps-sum, etc. Everything out in his name,just to make him feel wanted.

However, about a year later, things got so bad between them that LB moved out anyway!

I’ve been wondering for a while just where the hell I fit into all this.Effectively, if dad snuffs it, I’ll get maybe half the cash: maybe, that is. As its in my brother’s account, who’s to say it was ever part of Dad’s estate? And as for the house: even though LB hasn’t lived there for 7 years, he gets it, in his entirety! He has his own bloody flat too.

I’ve brought it up with Dad, although I don’t want to sound mercenary, but I’ve got 2 little kids and like any parent could do with extra money if it was there. Dad doesn’t seem to get it: keeps saying that he’s sure my brother will see me right!
As much as he is my brother, we don’t see much of each other, he’s single and works long hours, and I’d not like to be at his behest, somehow.

Something tells me I should see a lawyer- I seem to recall that none of
the above is actually legal, here in Scotland.

It would appear that I’m very lucky 😀

Father in Law is an 80 year old fell runner with a nice touch in sarcastic self depreciation. No bother, lovely man, loves his kids.

My Mother in Law:

Not litereally, but you get the general idea 🙂
Off with the faries, but in a continent, happy and generous kind of way.

Pleasant few days, all in all – shame I have to go to work in a few hours.

Well, for us it was the lay feckless BIL. He’s 45 and has NEVER hosted christmas day or ever lifted a finger to help or contributed in any way whatsoever. He is a selfish useless idiot at times.

Once again we hosted, which also means that Mrs Feet has to go and pick up the MIL, BIL & his girlfriend (and return them home later as well). For this we get absofeckinglutely no help whatsoever. Not even a plate lifted from the table.

Whenever we go to relatives for meals, we will take something (bottle of wine for instance) as a small token of our appreciation. This apparently is not something that he is familiar with. Strange as the MIL always insists we take something (which we would do anyway) when visiting her brother.

Also, ‘who want’s christmas pudding?’ I say. Everyone is full up so we agree to save it for tea. Except BIL who starts whining that he has to have christmas pudding, and bitching that christmas would be spoiled without it after lunch. Well guess what feckface? I ain’t cooking it for 1 person, it’s coming out at tea time. If you want it so bad, you do christmas day and do whatever you want.

…and breathe….

Im sure we could get a good Channel 4 series out of all your christmas experiences.

He is a selfish useless idiot at times.

Once again we hosted,
Asks self who the real idiots are…
😛

Having spent out Xmas at home in Oz, a good 12000 miles from home, we avoided all this. However, I do wonder whether most of the above might be easily sorted by a simple, assertive “No, we’ll do our own thing this year, but thanks for the offer”….

My uncle started banging on about cyclists after I mentioned I rode my bike to work.

Apparently we all jump red lights and kill old people who are trying to cross. Yeah.

Sat outside the outlaws in the car as the two little uns are still asleep from the car journey. The only saving grace is the dragon has bought heineken… (sitting here trying to numb my brain before the kids wake up) The outlaws are also DM readers (common theme going on on this thread).
The dragon will have dehydrated turkey and boiled the life out of what was once nutritious veges.. her idea of exotic cooking is putting extra pepper in the stuffing. Don’t even get me effin started on their hygiene skills.. they never wash their hands. Last year FIL dug a bloody lemon meringue pie out of the freezer that was 7 years out of date.. I grew immediately suspicious when he served it up but neglected to have a slice as he normally stuffs his fat clumsy face.. he found it hilarious. It took all my constraint to stop myself putting a scalding pie in his face. The dragon will not shut up for the next few hours about all sorts of boring long winded stories that leave you hypnotically brain dead. At least for now I’m enjoying a few peaceful cold ones and planning where I will ride on my new cube race later in the week. The torture will begin in about 10 mins. Chin chin.

Having spent out Xmas at home in Oz, a good 12000 miles from home, we avoided all this. However, I do wonder whether most of the above might be easily sorted by a simple, assertive “No, we’ll do our own thing this year, but thanks for the offer”….

I was thinking the same thing – I’m not sure I’d be willing to tolerate some of the crap folks here have had to put up with. I’d certainly not want to be going back for more on an annual basis.

I was thinking the same thing – I’m not sure I’d be willing to tolerate some of the crap folks here have had to put up with. I’d certainly not want to be going back for more on an annual basis.

I don’t get it either. Why spend time with people you don’t like just because they’re family? I had a very nice Christmas day with friends.

Back once again to the out-laws, let the drinking (well my drinking ‘cos they don’t) commence.

There’s not even a decent footie match on tele today!!

There’s not even a decent footie match on tele today!!

Scuse me? Just watched AFC Wimbledon vs Oxford. Decent enough game that my team won comfortably enough 🙂

You lot are a bunch of miserable shitehawks aren’t you. If any one of the people you are moaning about had a terminal illness you’d be bleating away about how important family is and about resolving stuff before it’s too late yada yada yada. Go on surprise yourself, do something positive today. Maybe they’ll join you….

Peace

Drac. You playing Buckeroo?

Ah the DM readers, is it just me do you also get a running commentary on programmes such as:

UK Border Patrol – oh look they come here with no money, don’t speak English etc.

The Aussie version of border patrol – see they send em back, thats what we should do

Police Interceptors (or similar police chase stuff) – oh I expect he’s got no insurance and they won’t send him to prison, oh no he’ll get let off

Any attractive woman on the TV (i.e Tess Daly) -oh what is she wearing, she’s uselss etc.

Please tell me I’m not the only one, please!

On our own this Christmas, me better half (hugely pregnant and due to be induced 28th) and 2yr old daughter. In laws stuck up north an MIL currently hospitalised, my family on a bender at my parents. Currently on daily monitoring at the hospital to keep tabs on baby’s health. Feeling rather frustrated at probably having to rely on our childminder should things kick off early.
Quite fancy a ride to chill out but leaving the ladies alone is probably rather bad form.

Time to MTFU and wait for the big event

Strange Christmas, and spectacularly sober 🙂

I loved reading about every one woes – but I did wonder why on earth you dont just say no to them all and sod off on your bike for the day. Or celebrate without them, dont invite them over, dont go and vist.

Life is too short to waste it, so sod them.

Spend it with people you like and doing the things you like.

When we told my future inlaws that we were getting married we had to de ice the door to get out the reception was that frosty.
I worked in a garage and clearly wasn’t marriage material. They are ok now but I am still like a dog with 2 dicks about the way I slaughtered them in their Christmas quiz.

How can you say no to SWMBO that we aren’t gonna visit her parents cos they are imbeciles (to put it politely)

If you’re a real man you don’t even try, you just suck it up and then whinge about it on here.

We’be had the kind of Xmas that puts all this sort of thing into perspective but I’ve still enjoyed reading this thread and sympathise with many of you.

Not long to go now guys!

Even the dog has started crying and pleading to go home. The dragon has broken out into song.. painful.

Weasel – Member

Ah the DM readers, is it just me do you also get a running commentary on programmes such as:

UK Border Patrol – oh look they come here with no money, don’t speak English etc.

The Aussie version of border patrol – see they send em back, thats what we should do

Police Interceptors (or similar police chase stuff) – oh I expect he’s got no insurance and they won’t send him to prison, oh no he’ll get let off

Any attractive woman on the TV (i.e Tess Daly) -oh what is she wearing, she’s uselss etc.

Please tell me I’m not the only one, please!

Oh don’t worry your not the only one, even funnier was the FIL commenting on an Asian lad stopped on one of those police camera action programs “bet he has no insurance or license” (turned out to be totally legit) then the wife pointed out “he” hadn’t got his license back following his heart attack yet had driven to see his brother!

We still don’t think he understood the double standards as he went back to reading the DM

Yeah, Drac will be getting the buckaroo out. I wouldnt be suprised if he strategically places the toy so that when it bucks its saddle bags off its erse they will go down his sister in laws blouse!

The MiL has several moods some of which are fine. But then at the mention of politics or a “foreign” accent, goes into a xenophobic/racist froth! She had a total fit today when she picked up the paper I’d bought in the petrol station: “The Bishop of York is black?!!!! But I’m from Yorkshire”. She didn’t know. She’s horrified I work with Poles, Fins and especially Germans. I despair. Why does this happen to old people? 🙁

“The Bishop of York is black?!!!! But I’m from Yorkshire”. She didn’t know. She’s horrified I work with Poles, Fins and especially Germans. I despair. Why does this happen to old people?

They grew up in a different time and they get scared easier.

My dad hated the japanese. I mean properly, genuinely hated them. He’d use all the racial stuff to describe them. It embarrassed me. After he died I requested his war records from the MOD and it turned out that he’d been quite heavily involved in the liberation of a number of commonwealth POW camps from the Japanese at the end of the war. Felt naive.

It’s ficking easy to judge people and far harder to understand them.

My mother had to move from Liverpool during the war. She was moved to Fort Augustus and then Torridon to get away from it all.

She would get on well with your mother,Buzz ;O)

How can you say no to SWMBO that we aren’t gonna visit her parents cos they are imbeciles (to put it politely)

Easy – well in advance you start going on about how it would be nice and romantic to spend xmas just as a couple; citing how bad both sets of ‘rents are at times, and you want to do something special together.

Once the cycle is broken, it’s much easier to be independent thereafter.

OR, move to Oz – there haven’t been any arguments this year over why we weren’t coming….